If I could
I  would 
But I can't
So I  won't
--Be the carpenter to the building up of your ego.
--Shower you with confident praise, umbrella you from dissident things.
--Figure out the high and low moods of an adrenaline *****.
--Nod in agreement, like a court jester, to the latest exploits of a drama queen.
 
 Its a constant chore I abhor just to get you up and moving out the door.
Push you out the nest to fly,
throw you in the water to sink or swim, to try.
It's what we do when children are all grown,
NOT what we do for girlfriends who are afraid to leave home or be alone.

It's  not a keeping score point system where I'm giving more than I'm getting. Its more of a witnessing to the feeling of the allowing and the letting.

If I could
I would
But I can't
So I  won't
-- pave a yellow brick road through your misgivings.
--Smooth off the edges of your indecisions.
--Give you the cowardly  lions courage he got from Oz.
--Lie to boss Hog that your sick in bed.
-- Tweezer out the splinters of your perceived injustices.

If I  could
I would
But I can't
so I wont
Cottle you, bottle you, can't promise you or promote you. Must remove you and remote you, no longer develop you or devote you. Your on your own.

And in the end, dispite what I  do and the might that I  do it with... the final road is one we walk alone.
  I have to let you go now.

originally it reads as:
(****, i am drunk: do sudoku drunk!
          what a ******!)
x x x     x x x     x x x
x 7 6     x 5 9     3 x x  
x x 8     x 7 x     x 1 x

x x 2     x 1 x     x 5 x
x x x     3 x 7     1 2 x
1 6 9     x 2 x     x x x

x x x     4 x 1     7 8 x
9 4 x     7 x x     x 6 x
x 5 x     6 x x     x x x

      now i really want to learn something,
but i don't seem to want to...

the end result?

3 1 5  8 4 6  9 7 2
2 7 6  1 5 9  3 4 8
4 9 8  2 7 3  5 1 6

7 3 2  9 1 8  6 5 4
5 8 4  3 6 7  1 2 9
1 6 9  5 2 4  8 3 7

6 2 3  4 9 1  7 8 5
9 4 1  7 8 5  2 6 3
8 5 7  6 3 2  4 9 1...

    bu there's a narrative to mind...
the        ) game,
        half an hour's worth of game after inserting
the first six -
                    (a
                      b) matrixes -
             the theta-phi debate crosswords and blind-spots -
but the narrative goes like this:

a.   7                          1
      1                          5  ­    )
      x 7       1              2
                                    "zooming in with a nibbled into 6",
b. 5 |  5
           7
           1
           x
       x  2  x
           x
           x
           x
                       c. 2nd 5
                          6 x x  4 x 1  7 8 x (5)
d. 1st 5
          5 x x  4 x 1  7 8 x
          9 4 x  7 x x  x 6 x
         x 5 x  6 x x  x x x
                              e. x x x         x x 2              x x x
                                  x 7 6    |   x x x    |        9 4 x
                                  x x 8         1 6 9              x 5 x
f. x x x
   x 5 9
   x 7 x
   x 1 x               x 5 x
   3 x 7
   5 2 x
   4 x 1
   7 x 5               7 8 5
   6 x x
               (more than or haczyk, or háček
            a hook: in saying: oi! geezer!
traffic that 'un!  
                           but still more than or less
than in Copernican lingua?
dunno... well: that's two smokin' barrels' worth
of info for the inauguration -
'cos' pretty face over 'ere was half a wit's know-churn
off a *****... 'now what i mean?'
they necessarily say it in sprechen glutton Danzig
so you look smart, and not like some artful dodgy
podger:
              n'es pas?                             twinkle tweezer ****:
oi right and that ****** off came with the touch
of a knuckle: 'cos' i wasn't preaching trigonometry:
nor was i ******* kidding.
               down the east end they call us Vlad-sodden
impaler imperialistic -
         after the little debacle we 'av a laugh and drink
a bottle of *****...
          then we do the rickety chance of engaging in
baptismal fire with the Jamaicans -
or so you know. well, wouldn't you believe it,
look how far being called vermin gets ya!
all the way to Buckingham Palace me says!
         and some dared to say: ransack Sicily.
blah ha ha... your's a tongue on the leash!

g.    x - 4? / 3?
       5
       7
       1
       x - 4?
       2
       x
       x
       x
                         h.  6 2 x  4 x 1  7 8 5
                              6 2 x  4 9 1  7 8 5
                              6 2 3 4 9 1  7 8 5
(breakthrough point!)

i. 7
      x
      1
      5
      2
      x
               j. x 7 6  1 5 9  3 x x

k. 7                  l. 7                   m. 7
    x                     x                         4
    1                     1                         1
    5                     5                         5
    2                     2                         2
    x                     3                      3
    8                     8                         8
    6                     6                         6
    9                  9                         9

n. 6 2 3  4 9 1  7 8 5
    9 4 x  7 8 5 x 6 x
    x 5 x  6 x x  x 1 x

         o. 6 2 3
             9 4 x
            8 5 x
                                    p. 6 2 3              4
                                       9 4 1     |    7
                                       8 5 7           6
          
the 1st square:      6 2 3
                                9 4 1
                                8 5 7.

    2nd square:
                            x          x
                ­            3          x
                            x          x­
                            x          x
                       ­     1          x
                            x          x
      ­                      7          5
       9 4 1
       2 6 3
       7 8 5;
                       q. square no. 2 anti linear:
4 9 1                               4 9 1
7 8 5              : / v.          7 8 5
6 x x                               6
             ergo
                      4 9 1
                      7 8 5
                      6 3 2
                                             3rd square:
    7 8 5                        7 8 5
    2 6 3         |             2 6 3
    x 9 x                        x 9 1....

subsequently: 8 5 7 6 3 2 4 9 1
  hence: 1 6 9 5 2 x x 3 7
       ": 1 6 9 5 2 4 8 3 7
       ": 2 7 6 1 5 9 3 4 8
         (interlude):
4 x 8 x 7 x x x(?)
                          
           r. x                        s. 7 3 2
               2                           x x x
               4                           1 6 9:           3
               7                                             2
               x                                                4
              ­ 1                                                7
              ­ 6                                               5
               9                                                1
              ­ 8                                                6
              ­                                                   9
                                                               ­  8

t. 1          then:      1
     7                           7
     x                           9
     3                           3
     x                           8
     6                           6
     2                           2
     4                           4
     5                           5

  then     7 3 2
               5 8 4
               1 6 9           then 5 8 4  3 6 7  1 2 9

          then 4                2
                    5                  9
   ­                 7                  8  
                    1    ­              3
                    6

      u. 7 3 2  x 1 x  x 5 4
then
             6 5 4              9 1 8
               1 2 9         |     3 6 7
               8 3 7                5 2 4

then
              6
               9
               3
                8                             8 4 6
                7                              1 5 9
                4                              2 7 3
                1
                5
                2

v. then 3 1 x  8 4 6  x 7 2
  then 3 1 5  8 4 6 9 7 2 0
then the crescendo:
                                  9 7 2
                                  3 4 8
                                  5 1 6         !

bones wither under pressure
corrode slowly along with a seizure
if i could, i'd put them in a freezer
and pull the strings of my heart with a tweezer

grief creeps upon like a fever
a poisonous contamination you can't deter
infectious almost like a mindless chatter
think again why should it matter

****** Hairs Mystify

****** hairs mystify,
Growing how and where they will,
Which partly sheds light on reason why
They call it, *****-nilly.

White, black, silky, coarse,
All on the selfsame surface –
Growing inward, shooting up and outward!
It’s ridiculous!
At times I curse the space
They call the face.
It shows no logic.
It’s not magic, not strategic,
But some feeble plan of nature,
Some chaotic plan inscrutable
Whose structure is a stricture
On a want of one thing or another.
  
Keeping tweezer handy
Without ever understanding,
I surrender
To a power
Higher than…
And I give in,
Say a prayer for some unwitting sin
I must be paying for.
Follicles win
Hands down, I mean,
Face down.

****** Hairs Mystify 10.15.2016
Circling Round Nature II; A Sense Of The Ridiculous II; Circling Round Vanities II, Circling Round Woman II;
Arlene Corwin

.

you look purest in blue light
I sway constantly between self-assured

and broken hearted

every question I’ve had covers my walls
your answers arrows
tied with affirmation

I’ll fill a room with photographs of us when I tell you I love you
catalog every expression
why am I calloused and you so smooth?

promise me you’ll fly me to the moon
I’ll hand paint golden flecks in your eyes

will you maneuver a tweezer through my pink matter –
**** out the burrs?

slide your hand on my thigh
while we drive into Brooklyn

I’ll push myself off screen when the fear takes over

pull me in
wrap me
I am yours

NO FUTURE ARCHAEOLGISTS

We kiss, and:
(it's a nuisance this )

some future archaeologist
extracts it with a forceps

puts it into
a container - labels it.

"A Dempsey kiss
circa July 2017

the genuine article
the real thing.

Kisser: Dempsey D.
Kissee: Dempsey, J."

Now I wouldn't mind this
all that much

if
( and it's a big IF )

we happened to be dead
a 1000 years or more

but oh
no!

Future archaeologists know they no
longer have to wait

for The Present
( so to speak )
to become
( so to speak )
The Past

as they had to do
in days of yore.

Their motto being: "Catch the moment
as it flies."

Now they time-hop
and get the goodies

as they happen.

All objects retrieved
must have that "present-ness"

all future archaeologists
seem to hunger for.

The now as now.

They can even extract
an indvidual's individual thoughts

with a sonic tweezer as if
our minds were not our own.

"Do away with history!"
as the bumpf puts it
"See how it was...as it is!"

They appear as see-through people
like some future ghosts

photographing
our very souls.

Our emotions laid out in display
behind glass in a museum

somewhere in 33003
in what used to be Maine.

Now some I am
sad to say

have got used to their presence
( one can get used to anything ).

Even act up to them.
Give them what they want

to see
...see?

But no not
me.

Their pretence somehow
distorting the what used to be.

I steal back the kiss
they stole.

"Dempsey, Donal
poet person

a most unwilling
subject."

I read their report
upside down and ha ha...laugh.

Only we
should taste that kiss

its spirit
all ours.

Radioactive sign
outside our door

states unequivocally
for all present

or future persons
to see:

NO COLD CALLERS
NO JUNK MAIL
NO FUTURE ARCHAEOLOGISTS

Tripping over myself, bleeding myself out
trying to confine myself
to the confines of your categories, the cages
that barricade us in. I have rapidly outgrown them and
now they splinter skin.
When should I begin to cry out?
I have seen others leave it too late —
their bodies impaled by cold, hard metal
their organs pooling on the floor, their hearts’ still beat
once, twice,
they stop.
Is it possible to shrink? tweezer out the splinters
before I am spilt
pull out my own bones until I fit.
Hypocritical to myself I encourage the cries of relief
as the brave ones
break free —
Will I be consumed? Or will I break
out

The spouse betook monthly outing
today May 4th, 2022
to 3938B Ridge Pike,
Collegeville, Pennsylvania 19426.

No more bare cupboards,
fridge, and deep freezer
since returning with more than
our share of daily bread,
plus other sundry provisions
referring to this mister, who
frightfully squawks like an old geezer,
ruler of roost,
plus the missus – ole hen pecker
nevertheless, neither of us
ain't no spring chicken

being locked within crosshairs
constituting elderly stage,
she doth dread
feeling like a charity case
swallows her pride,
cuz ample carload for us,
alleviating this *** searching
for crumbs to tweezer,
thus  raw bits of powdermilk biscuits,
I need not scavenge, scrape, scrounge...
substantial commestibles

allows poet taster to breathe easy
inadequately satiates the missus,
(whose Godzilla appetite) defies
(cole) laws of nature to beef fed
predominantly healthy food,
that weighted our automobile like a led
zeppelin choking, intermittently
kickstarting, sputtering... along,
asper in (faux wheel) drive wheezer
putting utmost pressure
borne by taxing groovy tire tread.

Once mission (not so impossible,
but blessed relief) complete, I did aim
upon returning where we live
to acknowledge gratitude and claim
salvation for charitable deeds,
yours truly doth exclaim,
these volunteers, none I know by name,
nonetheless, a hearty poetic L'Chaim
afforded folks, who commandeer,
confidently coordinate quite efficient process

despite minor lament regarding
heavy toll stressing bulwark
quaking chassis, ripsnorting driveshaft,
shimmying entire automobile frame...,
hence no matter
our exhausted 2009 Hyundai Sonata
puttered along somewhat lame,
kudos to dedicated good samaritans,
worth their weight in gold to tame
hungrily growling, noisily rumbling tummies.

Healthy choices allow, enabled,
and provided us to secure provender
eases glum countenance of this clown
gratuity finds me bowing down
paying metrical obeisance
versus depleting meager monies
engendering botox frown
nipping in bud
forestalling need going
to preferred market such as
Aldi, LIDL, Redner's, Target
or Trader Joe's grocery shopping
to the nearest town.

Eventually vices will witness me crow king
cough'n affliction caw hearse courtesy
smok'n since me yay high,
hence appellation (mountain) wheezer
natural set of adult teeth (rotten to the core)  
easily plucked out courtesy tweezer,
this har nonestablishmentarian,
never prevaricator nor crowd pleaser,

whose barreled chest attests quantity
maximum grog, which equals capacity of keezer,
or analogous to quaffing
amount stout beer downed by yours truly
(rough estimation by dickens)
equivalent to hinted wealth of Ebenezer
Scrooge, who could hypothetically
purchase abundant amount of ale.

Above fabrication nonsense yay
figurative hook to grab attention my way
ain't one applicable factual word written,
cuz I take poetic license
with no intended off fence touché
harmless figurative foil
as usual trademark innocent word play
geezer who sports brown golden locks
employs good humor as keyway
to unlock mine mindscape entranceway.

After posting poem comb what may,
drink'n like vichyssoise floundering fiend,
I reluctantly brush aside
male pattern baldness without dismay,
cuz patrilineal genetic trait
shows no happy shiny pate
rather paternal ancestry
somewhat thick with strands
turning sixty plus shades of gray.

The following recounts true account
one hundred purse cent
actual bonafide certifiable event
attested to courtesy one germane gent
badinage represents laughable intent
as he deeply inhales cigarette brand Kent.

Though no physician,
this aging baby boomer
former long haired pencil necked geek
absolutely, intuitively, erroneously, and
unequivocally sensed hair loss (mine),
at first a speculative rumor
not simply rooted in my (ahem) head,
no matter a minimalist groomer

nevertheless, thinning follicles,
upon dawning realization, sans medical
sought relief thru good humor,
though within this balding cerebral noggin
became repulsive as if my scalp
pulled pate rendered as a tumor.

Thus an unexpectedly present surprise
when in private consultation in the guise
as out patient client (early afternoon
December 19th, 2018),
where I did fraternize
and kibitz with the medical assistant

(old enough to be my...sister),
aye did exercise
mild mannered mien mean, aye do patronize
before doctor Rudolf (dearly
reigned) Roth, a practicing
Dermatologist told me no lies

his instant karma knowledge - mainly his
thirty seven years expertise
sought to excise
a prominent non cancerous mole approximately
centered middle of back
a small patch of skin,

he needed to anesthetize
nonetheless, a reassuring persona,
yours truly did lionize
(not merely, cuz
he received a five star rating,
specialist under auspices

of Penn, Medicine)
in Radnor Pennsylvania),
his modest calm did neutralize
any uneasiness, as did his pronounced
humility earn kudos to idolize
such rarely present gentility, and

unwitting capacity did harmonize,
and maximize significance to me,
asper my thinning limp
hair logically rationalize
identified underactive thyroid gland

(hypothyroidism) tubby,
which didst legitimize
no hair brained rooted concern,
hence...less reason to catastrophize',
which for no reason I
wanted to mildly emphasize,
hence choice to apostrophize...

The dagger, the knife,
The arrow, three-pronged hook,
The tweezer, the electrical current.

Sledgehammer, blood clot,
The scalpel,

Am I able
To handle
Any more pain?

The pain, the pain.
Hurt by hallucinations,
What can I gain?
Eternal damnation?
It strikes over and over again.

How much more must I bear
Of pain that’s not really there?

I asked you to be gentle,
not negating the love. The mythological
legend will start wiping the tears.

You stand without a sword.
The white goddess made for me, though
with pink bones, silvery eyes.

A long tweezer was
interbred with gods. Invaders come
for a savage rivalry on the planet.

Spouse of my eldest sister
marital bond fixed in place
strong as mortise and tenon,
he hales of hearty Irish stock
genes of said septuagenarian
analogous to pith and marrow
wrought courtesy divine providence.

At present aforementioned brother in law
recuperating after orthopedic surgeon
alleviated severe pain
NOT linkedin to damaged, injured,
and ossified rotator cuff
as initially surmised, nevertheless
temporarily forcing kinsman
to become a southpaw.

Thankful his insurance coverage
picked up what I imagine
to be a hefty tab to cover cost
of surgical spine procedure,
whereat the discs located
between the vertebrae C4 thru C7
were bulging and pressing significantly
into spinal cord nerves.

Three discs delicately removed
fragmented discs taken out tweezer like
and titanium pieces put in their place.

Months long physical therapy
will build back better
common Joe biden his time
to trump and amp up body electric.

Today (March 29th, 2024),
I recently spoke with Amelie
over the telephone
(the above referenced sibling
in first line of poem),
whose aura, charisma, dogma,
karma, and persona
fully yet unpretentiously regaling
her unbridled love
larding with emotional munificence
effecting, eliciting, embodying,
and exhibiting love in plain view
genuine care and concern
lavished toward him,
whom she pledged her troth
methinks more'n thirty five years ago.

As a longtime surveyor
for Gloucester County, New Jersey
he acquired familiarity
with tools of the trade
and truckload of skills to boot.

Prime years of his life
working hard schlepping, and positioning
moderately heavy duty equipment;
no doubt ofttimes
said weighty implements,
I imagine said paraphernalia routinely
being figuratively toted, lugged,
and dragged across all types of terrain
(while being exposed
to elements of nature)
making precise measurements
to determine property boundaries;

providing data relevant to features
of the Earth's surface,
such as shape and contour,
for engineering, mapmaking,
construction, and other purposes
back breaking physical labor
taxing his then robust
essentially got paid exerting
conditioning, and applying
his brute strength
courtesy the sweat of his brow
yielded laudatory results.

Exemplary track record
(as a career employee
acquiring well deserved promotions)
plus stellar report card
regarding characteristics of attendance,
performance, and punctuality
allowed, enabled and provided
current accumulated earned paid time off
countless months to recover from
major necessary operation
videlicet outstanding team of specialists
at prestigious Virtua Voorhees Hospital.