They call me Racer Steven
this is my car, sky-blue,
I haven’t raced in a long time, maybe too long
I just gotta concentrate, can’t get distracted
I want them to know me as:

The man who went fast enough

On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good, we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

At slow speed we all seem focused
In motion we seem wrong
In summer we can taste the rain

Two can play this game
We both want power
In winter we can taste the pain

I want you to be free
Don't worry about me

Coming out to the light of day
We got many moons that are deep at play
So I keep an eye on the shadow's smile
To see what it has to say
You and I both know
Everything must go away
Ah, what do you say?
Spinning knot that is on my heart
It's like a bit of light and a touch of dark
You got sneak attacked from the zodiac
But I see your fire spark
Eat the breeze and go
Blow by blow and go away
Oh, what do you say?

Wish we could turn back time
To the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep
But now we're stressed out

We used to play pretend,
give each other different names
We would build a rocket ship
and then we'd fly it far away
Used to dream of outer space,
but now they're laughing at our face saying
"Wake up, you need to make money"

you don't know my mind
You don't know my kind
Dark necessities are part of my design and
Tell the world that I'm falling from the sky
Dark necessities are part of my design

Now I'm having trouble trying to sleep
I'm counting sheep but running out
As time ticks by, still I try
No rest for crosstops in my mind

And with the early dawn
Moving right along
I couldn't buy an eye full of sleep
And in the aching night under satellites
I was not received

My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed
Dried up and bulging out my skull
My mouth is dry, my face is numb
****** up and spun out in my room

Built with stolen parts
A telephone in my heart
Someone get me a priest
To put my mind to bed
This ringing in my head
Is this a cure or is this a disease?

My mind is set on overdrive
The clock is laughing in my face
A crooked spine, my senses dulled
Past the point of delirium
On my own, here we go

Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live

And in the after birth
On the quiet earth
Let the stains remind you
You thought you made a man
You better think again

Before my role defines you

you don't know my mind
You don't know my kind
Dark necessities are part of my design and
Tell the world that I'm falling from the sky
Dark necessities are part of my design

Breathing in the dark, lying on its side

The ruins of the day painted with a scar

And the more I straighten out, the less it wants to try

The feelings start to rot, one wink at a time

forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain
Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away
When you get out of bed, don't end up stranded
Horrified with each stone on the stage, my little dark age

In your house, I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like one of those stones
I'll wait for you there
Alone

And on my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there you led me on

My life's a bit more colder
Dead wife is what I told her
Brass knife sinks into my shoulder
Oh babe, don't know what I'm gonna do

I see my red head, messed bed, tear shed, queen bee, my squeeze
The stage it smells, tells
Hell's bells, miss-spells, knocks me on my knees
It didn't hurt, flirt, blood squirt, stuffed shirt, hang me on a tree
After I count down three rounds, in Hell I'll be in good company

It doesn't matter what they say
So long as they sing with inflection
That makes you feel they'll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But they've said nothing so far
And they can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If they’re doing their job then it's your resolve that breaks

Because the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely

No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow

Was, that Hook brings you back

I was lying on the grass on Sunday morning of last week
Indulging in my self-defeat
My mind was thugged all laced
and bugged all twisted wrong and beat
Uncomfortable in three feet deep
Now the fuzzy stare from not being there
on a confusing morning week
Impaired my tribal lunar-speak
And of course you can't become
if you only say what you would have done
So I missed a million miles of fun

What you don't know won't hurt you
Ignorance is bliss
I'm a happy idiot
Waving at cars
I'm gonna bang my head to the wall
'Til I feel like nothing at all
I'm a happy idiot
To keep my mind off you
Stuck in a daze and I've lost my mind
I don't wanna stay
Where the blame's all mine

In our short years, we’ve come a long way
To treat it bad and throw it away
I want you to be free
Don't worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene

You won't cry, I won't scream

In our short years we’ve come a long way
To treat it bad and throw it away
And if we make a little space
A science fiction showcase
In our short film, a love disgrace
Dream a scene to brighten face
In our short years we’ve come a long way
To treat it bad, just to throw it away

No matter how much Peter loved her
It’s what made the Pan refuse to grow

Patience, shadow. While you're sick, there's no sight to see.
Little shadow, little shadow.
To the night, will you follow me?
Pardon, shadow, hold on tight to your darkened key.
Little shadow, little shadow.
To the night, will you follow me?
Closer, shadow, volume strikes, still we're cut free
of this song, little shadow
To the night, will you follow me?
Hey, shadow, stars, break of dawn, take a turn for stars, to my fantasy
Little shadow, to the night, will you follow me?

Sheets of empty canvas
Untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me
As her body once did
All five horizons
Revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed
Has taken a turn
Oh and all I taught her was everything
Oh I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands
Chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything
Oh the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything

I'm left wondering, had i had
some better sounds no one's ever heard
had i had a better hand that wrote some better words
had i had found some verses in an order that is new
had i hadn't had to rhyme every time I wrote
Had i been told that i'd get older,
maybe all my fears would shrink
But now I'm insecure, and I care what people think

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by
Some kids at play
I can feel their laughter
So why do I sear
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin
Round my head
I'm spinning
Oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away

Stuck in the shade
Where there's no sunshine
I don't wanna play
With them other kids in the sun

When we were young, the future was so bright
The old neighborhood was so alive
Was gonna make it big and not be beat
Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn
The kids are grown up, but their lives are worn
How can one little street swallow so many lives?

Chances thrown
Nothing's free
Longing for what used to be
Still it's hard, hard to see
Fragile lives
Shattered dreams
Oh the kids aren’t alright

**** it in **** it in **** it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also of rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute diddys
I wanna bust all our balloons
I wanna burn all our cities to the ground
I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day. Hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was

And now my bitter hands
Cradle broken glass
Of what was everything
All the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad
Turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see
All that I am
All that I'll be

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Oh can't it be mine

I've got one more chance to say I'm sorry
And I can't believe a lie
Say you need me

Wave the white flag
I surrender, I surrender, I surrender

I'm gonna need someone to help me
I'm gonna need somebody's hand
I'm gonna need someone to hold me down
I'm gonna need someone to care
I'm gonna writhe and shake my body
I'll start pulling out my hair
I'm going to cover myself with
The ashes of you and nobody's gonna give a ****

Do you have the time to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Now for seventeen years I've been throwing them back
Seventeen more will bury me
Can somebody please just tie me down
Or somebody give me a ******* drink

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid
Or am I just ******?

My heart was breaking,
hands are shaking,
bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was breaking,
hands are shaking,
bugs are crawling all over me

I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of freedom that's bringing me down
I went to a *****
She said my life's a bore
So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down

*******
Give me a drink
One more night
This can't be me
*******
If I can't get clean
I'm gonna drink my life away

And she’s in the back singing:

“He doesn't know, just how I feel
He don't seem to care
But my love is real
Lonely is the night
Wanting him to hold me tight
Deep shadows surround me
Nobody knows
The trouble I have with my man
Nobody cares
They just don't seem to understand
But it's time they found out
What true, true, true love is all about
Deep shadows surround me
Oh yes, oh yes they do”

Hey, my name's Blurryface
and I care what you think
In your house, I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like all those stones
I'll wait for you there
Alone

And in your welcoming hands
I will land, and roll out of my skin
And in your final hours I will stand

lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
I'll pick it up like a paperback
With the track record of a maniac

And on I’ll read,
just fast enough,
Until the day is gone
And sit in regret
Of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed
And all that I've wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wander on
as:

the man who went fast enough

(2pac talkin)
You know what gang violence is, mostly
And the people don't want you to hear this
Somebody shoots your family member
So of course you retaliate, You know what I mean
Same thing the you. S does except nobody even shot their family members
You know, they see that, somebody bomb a school
And all these people get killt
So the united states feel like ooh that's messed up
We gotta go show em who tha real killers
This country was built on gangs, you know
I think this country still is run on gangs
Republicans, democrats, the police department, the fbi
The cia, those are gangs, you know what I mean
The correctional officers,
I had a correctional officer tell me straight,
We the biggest gang in New York state
Straight up
[Verse:]
Supress the revolution of premeditated scheme
Introduce a drug called crack, to us ghetto teens
Got a law for raw ******, now playa what it be like?
When will ****** see they got us bleedin with three strikes
Can't seem to focus hopeless, with violent thoughts I wrote this
Got these Devils petrified, hidin from my hocus-pocus
And so I learned to earn my currency in over time (muahahaha)
Affiliated, clearly click a military mind
May God forgive us though we dwell inside a paradox
Thugged out and drug dealin, from the womb to the block
My live mind got me survivin five rounds
My forty-five got my fortified with live rounds
When ****'s thick we plot hits, when our glock spits
All hail, Out on Bail, Wrath of 2Pacalypse
Forever ghetto necessary picture food stamps
Outlaw **** ****** never left the boot camp
Chorus: Busta Rhymes
We got the real live **** from front to back
To my ****** in the world, 2Pac is back
Where my soldierz is at? (2X)
Where the **** my soldierz at?
Where my soldierz is at?
[Verse 2:]
Now I was born as a rebel, making trouble for the devil
Take this ******* ****, to a whole nother level
Can you feel me now? Armies in every city
Definition of power, players are you with me?
See the war is the profecy, survival is the strategy
Rest in peace to my comrades that deceased
(Busta Rhymes: Notorious B. I. G)
Organize these streets in time
Youll have these devils petrified of a ***** in his right mind
They tell us that we hopeless and hell bound
This for the brothers in penetentiaries jailed down
I got you in my heart till tha day I die
Think of tha damage we can do, if we wasnt high
Can you picture me loc? Its a thugs wrath
Political contracts and blood baths
For Matulu Shakur up in the rikers,
Though they got you, I never let them stop me
The struggle continues
(2Pac Talkin)
Now if we do want to live a **** life and a gangsta life and all of that,
Ok, so stop being cowards and lets have a revolution
But we don't wanna do that, dudes just wanna live of character
They wanna be cartoons, but if they really wanted to do something
If they was that tough, alright, lets start our own country
Lets start a revolution, lets get out of here, lets do something
Chorus: Busta Rhymes
We got the real live **** from front to back
To my ****** in the world, 2Pac is back
Where my soldierz is at? (2X)
Where the **** my soldierz at?
Where my soldierz is at?

I was created by my streets
The streets made me hard headed
Thugged. See through blood was my protection.
I had once no direction.
Taking the hitch-hiker path I learned the hard way,
Never take anyone for their word:
Until their word shows sacrifice.
If no sacrifice with action.
Heartfelt and honest it is not.
Heartbreak stroke symptoms pop.

Thugged out since cub scouts.
Fun starts when school's out.
Molly, Mary, and Lucy dearest,
girls who keep my vision clearest.

I"m up, so who's down?
Fools runnin' round fools town.
School night, nobody cares.
We're all magnifying Ms. Mary's hair.

Singing: Crystal, crystal, on my nugs.
Mary Jane gives killer hugs.
Makes you feel all warm and cozy.
Such is merry Mary's mozy.

Molly's always in a rush.
Hair a mess and face a flush
There's music on and always dancing
when I find myself in Molly's mansion.

Lovely Lucy's quite unstable
Smart as any math-enabled
pencil pushing silly geek.
Though Lucy's strong and they are weak.

Lovely Lucy lives to peak.
To test how well her mind can speak.
The circles she see's in the spaces.
In between those hidden places.

She see's faces, only faces.
Names and words just seem abrasive.
For Lucy's not afraid to BE.
The same as you and same as me.

Molly Mary and Lucy dearest.
Girls who keep my vision clearest.
Sisters spawned from Father Mind.
Who married all these girls to mine.

Money cars clothes in hoes
Is all a nigguh knows
Yea thats a biggie flow
Cashed the check
Rejected the cash flow
Embraced in knowledge
Learned the rules to the game
Ten to follow hard to swallow
When ya tryna intake
Alot of **** on ya plate
Expose the wickedness and
Try to miss the crate deaths date
How can i relate?
To the end times resurgence of crime
At an all time
High blow my **** into the sky
Retrace the atmosphere
So spirits can gear
Towards my mind body n soul
Im a predicament
Lucifer offeres me an repenment
If i only became devil sent
Naw i objected then he try to reconnect it
Even though o gotta tight flow
Police came to the door
I ran through the corridors
Evil right in my face shinin bright lights
As the ghetto birds hoverin' over my neighborhoods sight
Enticin' freight
Got peeps peepin' out the window
Scared little babies cryin'
They dont know why maybe its because they feel the evil in the skies
Open my eyes
**** im stuck in a dream but the dream.
Became a reality
Looked on the tv another black fatality
In reality
Thats all i know embrace the knowledgw
Skipped college
Be true to they self know thy self
This me a **** to my last breath
Changed the gruesome scenes
As the world sings is pain
But if i ruled....


And now that the chaos
Has spread
Got melees riots defiance
Nothin' but dred bloodshed
Bein' sent by every nation
Presidents rulin' the oppressed
Got us in segregation
Who's really startin' the wars?
Embracin' the sores of the poors?
Open ya mind stop being asinine
Know the truth is right in the face
Medias facetious lets make trading places
And move them ******* at the bottom
While we rise on top
But too.many scared to get dropped
In fear of man
Who breathes the same air as we
Believe me freemason-ry
Started since the beginning of time
Secrecy been hidin from mankind
I found the garden of eden
Serpents all.over the place
Can you say amazing grace?
How sweet the sound
Naw more like out of tune sound
My life is rugged raw and thugged out
Thats why i see out
Ashes from.**** to clear out
My consciousness suckas is buggin'
Still.mean muggin'
These adversaries that try to bury me
Feel me
One time watch out cuz fools after ya riches
Never sho love to fake as *******
Closest homies are snitches
I got death wishes
Try to bring peace while i pack a piece
Just in case of a slippin' cuz some be trippin'
Hate to see someone's flesh ripped in
From the bullets that greeted the frame
O i wish i could change some thangs
But most to busy after the flame
I evade the swirl
only if i could rules
the worldsdsssss



i did something
new tonight
(just an fyi)

i sat
on a wet rock
next to a creek
in the rain
with a brown umbrella
darkness looming,
   i thugged it out with jay-z
i lived for the city
       with stevie
               i raged against the machine
i found my own bravado
        with lorde
   i settled down to rose darling

and i found all
the voices
compelling
as i watched leaves
fall then
hit the water
moving in a rush

i looked up at
the grey clouds
and stared at my
black shoes
i twirled the
umbrella to
watch water
spray out

and i thought
to myself,
"am i just a big mouth?"
because that's what i feel like
a big yapping
mouth

yet i am
almost always
clothed in
s i l e n c e
   ...alone
quiet
   no words are
uttered from my
lips
the majority
of each day

then why do i
feel so
loud
when i live
in my mind
when i consider
my life
through
the tick. tick. tick.

all i do
is
think think think
     /consider/
weigh
and it
gets me
nowhere
but deeper
into this
abyss of
memory and
fantasy

what are
the rest of
the humans doing?
am i in
s p a c e?
i seem to
be
in a different
realm...

and now i'm letting you know.

The world is super ******* frightening, I'm scared of it all,
And I’m so high off fear, and about 4-6 adderall.
So keep to myself, stay quiet, and stand real tall,
Man, hope I don't get shot…

Is life really that serious, I don’t know…
But i feel like a toddler, trying to run half-time show.
Or maybe that’s all i want, and aspire to be,
But, thing is, can’t tell if I can run, or am even up on my feet.

I can't pretend to be thugged out, or a G.
I’m just stupid *** original me!
I escalate nothing to something, yet still act carefree,  
And am completely unbeneficial to society.  

I’m a complete waste of space, live with my Granny at her place,
Sometimes I swear I’m just an alien, hidden, among the human race.
And i had to get me a lady to convince myself that’s not the case.
And I give my heart to her, because we met through the fates!

And the fates will tell me yet again, if she’s meant to be my wife,
Haven’t put a ring on **** yet, but I blame my ******* up life.
And if she was cheating on me, wouldn't even be confused.
I would get exactly why you did it, but my ego would still be bruised.

I was buying a parking pass from a sketchy, one-room portable office because the people that designed and built my building forgot that people have cars and
I keep my phone on silent so I missed the first call and
I knew my Grandma was having surgery that morning to replace a valve in her heart and
I knew my Mom wouldn't call unless there was a reason so as I was walking back to the bus stop, I gave my mom a ring.

It was mid-September and
we cried together but apart and
I decided to walk the 5 km home 'cause I didn't want to break down on the bus and
it was a beautiful day and
I knew that people would stare.

Mom said there was a 4% chance it would go bad and
we knew the odds were ok but she was 92 years old and
she never really was one for odds, fighting and becoming one of 3 female doctors in her graduating class. Mom called her on her days off and
they always talked for a few hours and
I know that Grandma really valued that time.

On my walk in this unrelated town, nothing seemed out of place, but I wasn't really there at all. The beggers begged and
the students drank and
studied and
the thugs thugged and
the cyclists cycled past me as I put my headphones in and
tried to disappear after saying goodbye to Mom because she had other calls to make.

And
Kim texted me wondering why Mom wasn't picking up and
I told her that she would be calling shortly and
I put my phone away and
walked on with my head down.

*

That Christmas season, we had no real family get-together for the first time, but I went with Mom and
3/4 of her siblings and
various other family members to Grandma's favourite restaurant that we went to together a few times and
everyone seemed genuinely happy and comfortable. And
I know they all missed her, of course, and
she was a doctor and
my Grandpa a surgeon, so they had a bunch of money to hand down to their children and
Grandma's family was the most important thing to her, so I think she would be happy knowing that everyone she loved and
that cared for her was a little more comfortable, was able to pay some student loans or a mortgage or a trip (which, also, she spent most of her life doing).

And
it seemed strange to me that on the day she died, nothing really changed, but as time moved on, she has continued to make all of our lives a little easier, a little brighter, a little less gloomy in the months that followed. And
this isn't an "Ode to Money," but rather an "Ode to my Mom's best friend" because all she ever wanted came true, directly
thanks to her.

What I wouldn’t give to travel
inside your universe, feel your strong
symphony ignite bright moonlight
rhymes in my mansion, sleek veins,
spotlight stamina, incandescent pages
of street magic flowing in the air.
Arms rocking to the upbeat poetry,
reverberating through the boulevard,
his hands an array of melodic sounds
touching the surface of my continent
metaphorical mountains blending
in with your tantalizing thighs,
hypnotizing Saturn beats bursting
inside your soul vibing abs, your artistic
legs a cosmic existence, a solar station
booming on my delicious *******,
thugged out sensations steaming
in high notes across your jungle
jamming chests, your jungle
jazzy **** a skyline of dreams
harmonizing with my heart.
I wanted to journey through your heaven’s
glory, the wavy walls of your hips,
sweet serenity in your strong *** muscles –
so rough and raw, eternal truths gliding
in your deep flexing cheeks, unique chemistry
and physics, sublime addition syncing
with nonfiction, halo history, sunshine
geometry.  Your divine tune a soothing
room of the earth’s greatest attractions
glowing upon your drumbeating highways
of Harlem sensations.  Your intellect
an astrological thought whirling through
my body, angled domains so symmetrical
and linear, your sunlit passion dissolving
inside my love land, influencing my landscape,
brightening the valleys in my jubilant cheeks,
flying majestically over me, giving me
tranquility and transcendence.