"stiffy" poems
Isn't it awfully nice to have a *****
Isn't it frightfully good to have a ****
It's swell to have a ******
It's divine to own a ****
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest *****
So, three cheers for your ***** or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your ****
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.
Jul 8, 2015
Jul 8, 2015 at 11:43 AM UTC
I love ***** big and small, I love ***** best of all.
I think ***** are lots of fun, I think ***** are number one.
I think ***** are really neat, they make me want to beat my meat.
I love ***** covered in lace, I love ***** rubbing my face.
I love ***** in leather black, those are huge, do they hurt your back?
I love ***** in bras of silk, make me want to say "got milk"?
I love ***** in a college dorm, and in a nurse's uniform.
I love ***** in tight red sweaters, or stretching against a t-shirt's letters.
I love ***** in t-shirts wet, hey you with the nice ***** have we met?
I love ***** in skimpy swim wear, I'm sorry, I can't help but stare.
I saw your cleavage from above, with your ***** I am in love.
Your ***** are giving me a ****** I'll have my pants off in a jiffy.
Your ***** have given me an ******** I want to do them without protection.
Your ***** have made me want to **** them. I even want to ********* them.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 2:13 PM UTC
The comely *****
a comely ***** o' twenty three, from yonder village banburee,
alight her sight on poor auld me, a poorly man wi' one bad knee,
she buxom be enough fer three, her legs be thick as big oak tree,
but contrary to crippled me, she sprightly be wi' two good knee.
as I took flight on that fateful night from rutting comely *****
I felt a pain, a twist, a strain, and a gutting Rumley Wrench!
yon knee was spent, wi’ geat lament, she's upon me in a jiffy
she made it clear, she said, “m’dear I want yer little ******
now twenty three ‘tis not in years, but sire, tis stones in weight,
and 'er on me wi one good knee, be too dire to contemplate,
but to my surprise, she got a rise outa my little wrinkled pecker,
wi’ her big thighs and **** the size o’ a bleedin double decker!!
May 8, 2010
May 8, 2010 at 8:13 AM UTC
The owner gave the dog
Some funky cold madina
He licked it all up
Then got a ****** with his weener.
The dog suckled on his ****
He is ***** as ****
Ran out of the house
And nearly got hit by a truck.
He saw a nice poodle
The dog wanted to **** her bad
When he got behind her
He realized the poodle was a ***
So he jumps off the *****
And runs around the block
Hoping to find a lady
So he can release what's in his ****
While flying around the corner
He collides with Mary Jane
She's the local ******
Her ***** is game.
As her head hits the ground
She died on impact
The dog looked at her
And ****** her from the back.
Bang Bang Bang
In and out he goes
Barks like a maniac
As his **** explodes.
He pulls it out slow and steady
Then came a scooter
And squashes the dog like spaghetti.
(c) Tommy K
Oct 14, 2015
Oct 14, 2015 at 1:02 AM UTC
Imodium, imodium,
Such a wonderful drug
If my arsehole's a drain,
Then imodium's the plug
Rusty radiator water,
Pouring from my behind,
It splashes so high,
I risk going blind,
But Imodium to my rescue,
Fixing me up in a jiffy,
Back to when pooing,
Merely gave me a ******
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 12:35 PM UTC
pirates, with a Huckleberry
******* row boat...
doing the Achilles vs. the tortoise
logic macabre with
Somalis...
if ever a microaggression...
meaning, curbed bodies and alliances
with ****** in the morge...
well... sign me up Libido Jim...
tis an un fo 'ah bone fide...
ah... fy fy n'oh fide... n'oh fight...
bonding fade... or post Latin post Brit
dicritical enclosure, loss...
Gaulish excess spelling
and not wonder:
the last remnant literacy monopoly...
dyslexia... eyes see one thing...
tongue speaks another...
trash the bib.,
remnant 0f bible, diacritical marks...
bone fide...
tetragrammaton fiddle with
the diacritical violin...
no, no Anaïs Nin ands a father figure...
id est more fetish figure and less
father rigour...
bond fíd(e)...
like all french... shy on the suffix ***
loss of diacritical canon...
as literate as the pastoral...
and God forbid I ever make the sort of dough
worthy of the sistine chapel or
the da vincy code...
I shadow, and the undercurrents...
John "kukła" Paul II...
or? John Paul "the wickerman"...
at least they allowed Ratzinger
the dignity of papa emeritus...
poles like bangladshis are
expendable... but worth the:
princess ought to have that unicorn...
my my... came slurping honey,
the sugar baby...
and the delayed claustrophobia
of the inescapable ratio
of women, outnumbering men...
and even Solomon,
employed eunuchs to tend
to his harem, stemming from
the myth of ****** stamina.
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 19, 2018 at 8:13 PM UTC
like all the others
started out with a ******
spanked her on the *** ,
she spit it out,
I don't give a **** as long as I get mine,
took a long and smelly beer loose ****
settled down in front of the tv to watch Good Morning America,
only because my remote is broke and that was the channel was
on last night. Put baking soda on my toothbrush and gargled with
the last sip of whiskey, Lara Spencer got me going , so I sprinkled
soda on the sheets , nudged what's her name up.
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 12:53 AM UTC
my taffy is ******
needin pullin
pregnant
of 3 months of dull
lunches
and medicines runnin
in me brain
then, you came
into my room.
Nurse me Ratchett!
oh you so owe
me lunch!
How's about some
Taffy!
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 9:37 PM UTC
needs to be rearranged
I went to the the strip show
the other day and didn't even get a ******
the same girls and ****
and barely there shoestrings
hiding ******
but, I think I was
more cerebral somehow
thinking how nice it might be
somehow,
if I talked to someone sane and not
tainted by family
like those girls, who almost to a tee
had an uncle or granddad or god forbid
a father's hand down her ******* at ten years old,
and I got shamed, though , I had done none of it,
I got shamed for humanity,
and how
economics
and skin are so related,
how the sins of society
somehow come back to me
and I wonder, then think,
optimistically (with tongue in cheek)about
evolution
so harsh so long a thing
that it takes
generations
and centuries
to change.
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 3, 2016 at 11:36 PM UTC
"REST IN PEACE JEREMY"
gettin to this money in a jiffy like how when i got a ****** not on no gay **** thats my **** a ***** an blunt for drinkin the next case away...
sittin in a unrealed owners name lamborgini makin money 10 babies 1k horse power between my legs an a job to do...
5 milly in a day vp money across this nation top 100 business in the world i fly in jets not legal yet they says its a payed to me test...
now im speaking a language i ain spoke in a minute because anywhere i go standing on top the biggest buildin everything i see is mine...
they always been on my **** since birth i dont know why on ****** on my life seen death shed a tear moved on never looked back since...
i know im the best because of what ive written when an why an what happend right after that in 100 years you might find out...
jiffy widda sticky blicky on the dome keep my name out ya mouth im from the north east an south the real west central...
my boi terror spittin out a new whip his speech a precident makin you ****** competit an go extinct...
i dont give a **** what color you are the money around me turn you to a jew an im the ferror out chea...
z-pac
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 6:22 PM UTC