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am i ee Sep 2015
bathed in the cool light of the moon,
my sweet puppyhead and me,

sit.

under the full soft light, 
her ray’s illuminating the yard,
the woods.

footsteps crunch drying leaves,
fox, deer or foe?

waning canopy,
boughs lighter each day.

fall, majestic, peaceful
dying for another year.

plants and creatures, 
taking refuge in the deep dark void
of mother earth,
of mother nature.

squirreling away tidbits for a late winter snack,
coats blooming, thickening.

such delight, 
each night,
sitting outside,
my puppyhead and me.

quiet and solitary,
no humans 
annoying me.

silent and still
only nocturnal creatures
meandering about.

what magic,
what sacredness.
what mystical delight.
never apart,
only the ONE.

such silly confusion,
thinking a person,
separate and small,
quaking with fear.

the big deep dark mystery
laughing and jovial,
always here,
here for us all.

open your eyes, 
feel your nature,
always here,
never apart.

fearing death
fearing life,
what a silly way to live this
life!

the moment you were born,
you began dying,
what a relief,
knowing the score!

relaxing into the madness,
laughing at it all,
pure and free,
forever more, 
and not……

being,
not being,
eons of reflection,
sages and rishis
revealing the truth,
it can’t be done for you,
only you can become 
that which you are….
that which you always were.

my sweet love, my sweet life,
my puppyhead and me,
sitting here in Fall.
~~~
in Tao, in the One, her darkenss, her mystery
I am a scoundrel squirreling away my ideas
I am a coward hiding in fear
In the light of yesterday’s triangles
In the light of yesterday’s eyeballs

In the light of yesterday
You reside in a collapsing tidal wave of love
I am a mountain wondering
If you will ever try to move me
RA Jan 2014
Like a sponge, latching on
to anything.
Squirreling everything away inside
Its heart, porous,
with all the holes. Maybe
They can be filled like this.
They can't.

Eventually, we put the sponge under
Pressure.
And then watch,
Sickened,
As everything hidden away in the
         porous heart of a sponge
Comes gushing out.
Old work-
August 16, 2013
Kathleen Mar 2014
I don't watch ****.
You're more likely to see me squirreling away pictures of elaborate bathtubs, in shame.
Sometimes,
in the still of the night,
I look up well thought-out Murphy-beds and closets that disappear into secret home offices.
I keep a hidden stash of blackout poems
and lewd photos of street artistry around my neighborhood.
I savor notes my best friend gave me during middle school.
I walk a crooked walk down to the seedy underbelly of my past
and read feverishly all my past feelings and relive them to remember how vivid they once were.
But,
just like ****,
in watching and re-watching and savoring all the same flavors
everything tastes like mud now.
Maple Mathers Jan 2016
(The Art of Failing Goodbye)

I covet your closeness; how could I not? You were my world once upon a mime. Honestly. Though my pride will deny it, our demise left me discarded. Hiding amongst the few collateral souvenirs: stupidity and bitterness.

I bestowed to you the best of me; although you never asked me to. My heart, body, and soul - yours for the taking - a decision made on my own accord. Because you never asked me for any of it. You never asked me to do the things I did. But I loved you - innocent as that. Thus, relinquishing logic entirely.

Hardly more than a stranger, I felt I knew you; unaware of the lidded fabulist within. A mere tourist of my chassis; enthralled by my looks. Enthralled by just me. “In love” so deep, you attempted suicide twice. Upon my rejection – in theory. They almost beat you to death, and left you to the wolves. Deserved it? An understatement tenfold. And yet. My compassion was what saved you.

I protected the same entity who pulverized my own.

They all said you were no good – they said a mythomaniac would leach onto me until there was nothing left, ****** dry – then you would leave. Onto the next; life on the move. Daddy said you’d leave me in shambles. Was he right?

…Duh.

A question sheathed in rhetoric; absolutely. A black hole does not give back. Wake UP, m Maple – Ali – Oliver – whatever you are today.mWake up, you ******. And look here.

You ruthied(sp?) me last Halloween, took my body as your own, enabled a cycle I’ll no longer accept. The girl who cried ****…an alias to forever haunt me.

No one believed me then. Why would they now?

This final hurrah; a Halloween blackout. Wherein, you personified my worst nightmare. A cruel and unusual punishment – at best. And then.

You slithered and slinked away; no apologies – no goodbye for me. You’d taken all of me. Just like they said. All my value – dismembered and pocketed. Off you went…as predicted. Onto the next…life on the move.

You etched your gimmick; smuggling trust; squirreling intuition - these morals I'd entombed - you burrowed away. Promising Eden, you offered a map; directing me as I sailed the route. The garden, however, was not what I found. My catafalque(coffin) negated expectations you set; a utopia of dazzling, abundant nature. For, you'd devised a mousetrap; and I'd glissaded willingly inside…

For the very last time, gaze entwined. Blue on brown.

SNAP.
Bex Jun 2013
She had long since stopped singing. The notes that had once flown off her tongue now lay dormant, her voice box squirreling away melodies meant to be sung aloud. Once, she brought smiles to the faces of old men as she trilled and skipped about, flaunting the youthful lightness of her limbs. But the notes were gone now, and with nothing to carry her, she sunk.

She no longer slept as she once had. Her nights had stretched long, with such indifference for the troubles of the waking, she had rarely bothered to see the morning. Now she awoke before the sun, shaken from slumber by the ghosts that haunted her. She knew they had less hold in consciousness.

Singing, sleeping, these she did not miss. They simply slipped away when she had forgotten to notice them, forgotten to relish her dreams, to hum lyrics that buoyed her above the pavement.
outward brain stem hummock
     analogously, (asper bound
minuscule magnum opus)
     figuratively paginated with drowned
atavistic animal instincts

     roar back to life upon found
perceived or real threat adrenaline
     splashes cerebral hemispheres
     triggering body electric
     to become alert as a blood hound

countless millenniums ago
the flight or fight reaction apropos
when savage beasts
     threatened tribe with bro
whizzing primitive creatures some forced tweet crow

wing, thence railing, swooping,
     trouncing dough
main housing small cluster of emo
ting primates (gabbling in primal
     grunts and groans witnessing ruminants

     scurrying to and fro
survival of the fittest danger field
     thus by dint of inherent smarts didst grow
outwitting wily coyote, or other lion eyes, ***
ping automatic saving grace tactics recalled,
when looming predator doth woof
     and warp emergency arises,
     when debacle fore stalled
for time against getting mauled
whereby each subsequent ruse
out foxing fierce-some, hungry non a mew
zing potential breakfast, lunch,
     or dinner as the sorry loo

sir aye sic newt ton, sans this non nonsense game of "Life",
     which thru countless millenniums strategies grew
layered upon left and right cerebral hemispheres few
till hetty became diminished

     as con tra bands of bipedal hominids drew
upon accumulated storied history
     learned from Bubba Zayda's
     many times over motley crew

squirreling modus operandi
     wove (traversing eons)
     corpus collosum hair
     (more so nerve fiber weave

a microscopic whirled wide web linkedin
     left and right fist size gray matter
     coated with transparent integument
     custom made swiftly tailored sleeve

ah...proving grounds,
     when forebears of **** Sapiens
     touch and go tagged on permanent leave
     on par with imagining dragons easy to believe.
You remind me of Fall
Maybe that’s because of the russet in your hair
The crackle in your voice
The crispness in your emerald eyes

Or how you always seem to be so hollow;
Like an oak tree
Confliction squirreling up inside a beautiful mind
Making nests; hibernating in dark places

A shell of who you used to be--could’ve been
Lays upon fallen leaves
And like all things in fall,
Withers and dies with them too.
nivek Jul 2015
I sit around your table
waiting for titbits
to fall into my memory
memory forever fading
they say
as the years grow older.
But I still listen
squirreling each crumb
then taking them out
when no-one is watching
I string them together
trying to make sense
of the songs you sing to me.
This Citizen Banker
     safely in his compound doth attest,
sans donning his typical
     gabbling and trumpeting ways,
     while legally tendered,
     currently being cents
     less lee swept away
     soul fully - bellow

     wing from my chest
(with fortissimo, the
     whirling wide webbed
     watery tidal swells
     rivaling the peak
     of Mount Everest)
reef furring to being
     nearly reduced to poverty

     hence, essentially buck
     king the tide while washed out -
     since day short and dollar late
     circumstantes force me
     to cash worthless buffalo chips
     astutely as you correctly guessed
from deep pull horrible
     United States economic situation,

     where option non
     existent against invest
ting, nesting, and squirreling
     financial resources jest
accessible for wealthy people
     to sync investment portfolios
     region of popular tax haven,
     viz Cayman Islands lest

hefty costs accrue
    keeping scrupulously stashed re:
     sources untouchable,
     where Uncle Sam canst
     access ex cell lent
     healthy maturing outlook
     king monies, and understandable
     at rage against the machine

     if rainy day funds messed
up, but solvent versus
     debts drowning oneself
     unable to stay afloat,
where declaring Chaper 7 bankruptcy
   doomed to bobbing
     within a sinking boat,
and where pointless

     to pull out all the whistle stops
     including abandoning resorting
     to heroic measures
     while additionally futile
     to shed tears and emote
only kidding self to seek out goat
tam ma Buddha, nor will
     I resort to gofundme

(cuz ma last name NOT Kardashian),
     but matter of fact lee
roll with the figurative punches
     feigning tubby Jew Dee
or an incarnation
     of Muhammad Ali
during his ready for prime time Box
sing rebellious jabbering

left fist out fox
sing prize fighter un
     defeated champ with mox
see, his champion modesty
     oozed muscles like rocks,
a bankable one man
     Gibraltar with precious
     mettle to the core,

not wanting with his pugilistic,
yet homegrown genteel
     ringing true mark
solid core state athletically valued
bankable bonded stocks.
Quite an undertaking
to break ground
figuratively, and symbolically linkedin
while able bodied and mindedness
readies cemetery plot within Elysian Fields
although honestly, and truthfully
as an ***** donor,
yours truly opts for cremation
once I, the corporeal constituent essence
that constitutes breadth,
height, length, et cetera
of one garden variety generic guy,
whose introspective consciousness
once exits these lovely bones
subsequently shucks off his ethereal soul.

Probable cause of death
and reasonable rhyme
how he died with his boots on?

Accidental overdose spelt demise of Vitamin ******
with over the counter supplements he did monkey.

Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies
Biotin 10,000 mcg
Brain Support Gummies
Super B Complex with Vitamin C
Calcium 1200 MG plus Vitamin D3
Chewable Vitamin C dietary supplement
Daily De-Stress
Vitamin E 400 IU (180 mg)
Echinacea 400 mg
Fiber Gummies
Flaxseed Oil with OMEGA-3 1300 mg
Garlic 400 mg
Ginger Root 550 mg
Ginkgo Biloba 120 mg
Hair, Skin & Nails Gummies
Prebiotic Immune Support 750 mg
with Vitamin D 30 mcg 1200 IU
with Zinc 8.3 mg
Psyllium Husk
Selenium 200 mcg
Turmeric 500 mg
Vitamin A 2400 mcg

Alphabetized list of above
stockpiled synthesized materials
purchased at CVS and Walgreens
courtesy Nations Benefits
and/or United HealthCare flex card
allow, enable, and provide
careful discriminate experimentation
on self - selected as guinea pig
more tolerable versus when being a little boy
and bullied by ruthless nasty
and shortish brutes as scapegoat
of course discriminately
taking a subset of iterated
prescribed macronutrients
each including following specified dose.

A healthy corpse
when the grim reaper calls,
I will gladly bid adieu
bon voyage into the netherworld
and good riddance
to him (a good for nothing)
randy sandy donning tan hat man
Squirreling acorn née joke
hinting courtesy humorous literary arabesques
absent minded handy dandy blue's clue
imploring accomplice Jimmy Neutron,
who willingly frankly (iggy lee)
casually opened, popped, and zapped
license to **** himself softly
while listening to Pathetique adagio cantabile
by Ludwig Van Beethoven
courtesy over the counter supplements,
the Food and Drug Administration doth not eschew.

Mastermind of the universe, I
a skeptic (with flat thinning hair,
yet shrinking paunch)
regarding divine creationism,
nevertheless accepts mortality
as stepping stone
into nothingness that follows,
repurposing random arrangement
of atoms and molecules
that configured one
contemplative, intuitive, operative
and restive **** sapien
(essentially composed of stardust)
reincarnated into another form of matter.

After crafting especially
individualized invitations
répondez s'il vous plaît
as the spirit moves thee.
Outward brain stem hummock
analogously, (asper bound
minuscule magnum opus)
figuratively paginated with drowned
atavistic animal instincts

roar back to life upon found
perceived or real threat adrenaline
splashes cerebral hemispheres
triggering body electric
to become alert as a bloodhound

countless millenniums ago
the flight or fight reaction apropos
when savage beasts
threatened tribe with bro
whizzing primitive creatures
some forced tweet crow

wing, thence railing, swooping,
trouncing dough
main housing small cluster of emo
ting primates (gabbling in primal
grunts and groans witnessing ruminants

scurrying to and fro
survival of the fittest danger field
thus by dint of inherent smarts didst grow
outwitting wily coyote, or other lion eyes, ***
ping automatic saving grace tactics recalled,
when looming predator doth woof
and warp emergency arises,

when debacle fore stalled
for time against getting mauled
whereby each subsequent ruse
out foxing fierce-some, hungry non a mew
zing potential breakfast, lunch,
or dinner as the sorry loo

sir aye sic newton, sans
this non nonsense game of "Life",
which thru countless millenniums strategies grew
layered upon left and right cerebral hemispheres few
till hetty became diminished

as proper contra bands of bipedal hominids drew
upon accumulated storied history
learned from Bubba Zayda's
many times over motley (foolish) crew

squirreling modus operandi
wove (traversing eons)
corpus collosum hair
(more so nerve fiber weave

a microscopic whirled wide web linkedin
left and right fist size gray matter
coated with transparent integument
custom made swiftly tailored sleeve

ah...proving grounds,
when forebears of **** Sapiens
touch and go tagged on permanent leave
on par with imagining dragons easy to believe.
Methinks lame excuses poorly explain
absent presence gnosh *** wing up to
acknowledge our papa's ninetieth orbit
around sun, nor dearly beloved eldest
commencement successfully, modestly,
honestly (applying her smarts) as freshly

minted (sage) University of Pennsylvania
graduate, now where webbed wide world
avails untold opportunities to make positive
accomplishments, this papa never set
similar goals for himself, he languished
leaving untested latent abilities, now glum,

distraught, afflicted with irrevocable jangling
lamentation foregoing, forfeiting, forging
pathetic enactment regarding livingsocial
versus squirreling himself hermetically
sealed never linkedin with training sights
keeping traction upon maximizing native

abilities, thus frequent depressive bouts
find me prone speculating nonexistence,
(i.e. death), yet averse toward aggressive
unconscionable ***** deeds done dirt cheap
expediting end game of Life, cuz day after
week after month... pits me against hand

to mouth monetary woe whereat cost to
maintain, insure, fuel 2019 Hyundai Sonata
takes lion's share of monetary impossible
mission to become financially solvent, and
hashtagged social anxiety deters persevering
gainful employment, where self loathing

regarding predilection with profuse sweaty
hands finds yours truly aggravated enough
to admit disability to enjoy remains of days,
weeks, months... subsumed by penuriousness
diminishes excitement toward any purpose,
plus disgruntled without webbed bliss, nor

does bound by marriage appeal, yet the
missus would be left high and dry, (or low
and wet if she dwelt closer to sea level), this
bleakness especially pronounced as role of
fatherhood no longer viable, enjoyable, applicable
aware how offspring impacted by poor examples

of parents accentuated by appalling housekeeping,
additionally progeny's psyche indelibly defiled,
hi-jacked, scarred with husband and wife devoid
of affection toward each other, and NOT prioritizing
welfare of deaux darling daughters want nothing
more with us, which evokes sentimentality, when

interaction between biological dada and then young
girls generated laughter and utterances regularly
voicing "I love you and mama" came to screeching
halt upon, particularly selfishly expending valuable
time answering and posting personal advertisements
seeking discreet liaisons, and within overheard

half conversation with earshot (even if bedroom
door locked) prurient laced conversations, and
contrived secret rendezvous (most like intuitively
suspected by eldest, she still harbors resentment

towards yours truly countless shortcomings only
vicariously experienced getting invites to fully
functional dynamic, immaculate, roomy Mainline
classmates living envious lives.

Objectionable behavior (mine) as dada also applied
not so prodigal son question judgement cast during
salutary estrangement constituting singular male
progeny within family of origin.
Crow's claws carrion campy carping
nsync nocturnal teenage mutant ninja turtles
analogous to scuttling
(think) browed beastie boys scarab beetle
brandishing sharp small scabbard swords

delightedly digging daggers deep
into deadened prey
rotting roadkill repulsively reeking
formerly (mere moments ago) once
fancy free and footloose

happy go lucky creatures
perhaps instinctively squirreling away
scarce winter rations
animals oblivious to danger
(i.e. despite matter of fact

courteous attentive driver)
former obviously caught within headlights
(high beams blinding) crosshairs
deerly beloved critters
natural longevity instantaneously doomed

unsightly splayed internal guts
displeasure welling up
against... me long time
licensed vehicular operator
(within keystone state – Pennsylvania)

loathes unintentionally destroying
moosed abominable creature
self anointed ingenious species/
genus **** sapiens
debonair bipedal hominid

eradicates, euthanizes, and extinguishes
innocent kickstarting life within blink
ousted arbitrary dint of virtue
smug simian ruler of realm
sowing seeds of her/his destruction,

not necessarily strictly,
cuz she/he unable to brake,
nor swerve away within timely fashion,
but brainstorm gifted
harnessing collective intelligence concoct

weapons of mass destruction
in lockstep with environmental exploitation
dangle the very survival
various and sundry (extensive) precious
living things unbeknownst to them

will soon become extinct
rendering highly radioactive
oblate spheroid leaving not mushroom
except opportunistic trumpeting

donning guise of: parasitic braconidae wasp,
fruit flies, cockroaches and et alia yon
mummichog, scorpions, and Escherichia coli
for jump starting Earth biota.

— The End —