"retentions" poems
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"And then one day you came back home
You were a creature all in rapture
You had the key to your soul
And you did open that day you came back to the garden
The olden summer breeze was blowin' on your face
The light of God was shinin' on your countenance divine
And you were a violet colour as you
Sat beside your father and your mother in the garden
The summer breeze was blowin' on your face
Within your violet you treasure your summery words
And as the shiver from my neck down to my spine
Ignited me in daylight and nature in the garden"
In the Garden,
song by by Van Morrison
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***This touches me deep in the chest cavity,
the palpitations of its internalizing echoing cavitations,
a warning, go slow, choose your words wise and
accrue, the mood,
for the ache of creating, hurts, fevers me
for I am but steps away from the garden,
and its violet hues infused with fresh sunrising golden hazes,
with kindly warmth, with warming kindnesses,
touches,
caresses my shoulders, begs me to stop crying,
overcome, for I am overcome, eyes dropping wetting droplets,
for find myself at the intersection,
interlocking crossroads
where perfect perfection
begins and must
meet its natural endings
thoughts of capture, retentions, preservations,
all impossibilities, challenges,
see me, begging itinerant
muses
in the neighborhood
to guide my hand, teach me newsome words,
mine feel so old, so unworthy of this moment,
hearing me solicit their
Treasure of Summery
Words
but they won't,
excusing themselves,
that this in particular human has exercised, exorcised,
all the tools in his ever diminishing capacity,
time insufficient to learn a new calculus of
addition
and bid me calm my heaving chest,
seize my tears, just add them to the brackish salted waters steps
awaiting away
live in this moment
live within this poem,
revisit it frequent,
weep no more,
your stilling heart weakened,
take fast what is given now,
and be contented,
your treasury chest is full,
overflowing with this summary of
summery***
but I am not, cannot…
7:48:am
jul 22
Jul 22, 2025
Jul 22, 2025 at 8:03 AM UTC
Let's stop mid-scream and steal a moment of sanity
Hold on to your vanities, your profanities
Let me help
Let me tell you a story
'Tis grim and gory
Follow me home, follow me home
Make me feel unsafe
Make me feel like prey
In this jungle of concrete and brick
Your judgements are bullets
With eyes for triggers
**** me.
Intentions, retentions, preventions
Our sinful innocence will be the end of us
We walk into burning buildings
Yet we are not fireproof
We have never been
Fireproof.
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 4:15 AM UTC
These cold months leave me haggard
Breathless, as I struggle to regain my grip
Slipping through plains of uncertainty
Seeking that evasive simplicity
Scoffing at past words of comfort
That so gallantly wrapped the falsehood
Of time and its fabled curative powers
How I have been eagerly deceived
Jaded breath travels forward
Seeking concord in old and battered retentions
To only be limited by brooding reality
Where lays my pool of forgetting?
Utterances wisp past insistently
Avowing it to be just beyond
While others toy and slowly slither
Hissing of its non-existence
By miscalculating step I fumble
Mind drained of all, but shelled rummage
As it seeps into my frame
Ever hunting that eradicating amnesia
Nov 29, 2012
Nov 29, 2012 at 5:03 PM UTC
A happenstance in a wintery afternoon
bounded by the shreds of earthly stance
beyond the gift of the spaced bond rays
at the gaze of an unknown captive glazes
on a gentle voice of an unsung dormancy
On the sphere of these cases of first times
Sometimes when you awake in the void
inside the hollow chord of my existence
at the heart of the merge where we entwine
then drown as kindred uncaged birds
On the sphere of these cases of first times
At times when you fit inside my finds
away from the edgy torrential cliffs of tales
connected in the alignments of a blissful vent
untensed and piously mused and attentive
On the sphere of these cases of first times
everytime amused by a blossoming seam
a field alertness of all balanced conceptions
retentions, corrections, revisions, intuitions
where your mind holds the nature of mine
On the sphere of these cases of first times
anytime in a world of relentless evanescence
as I drift in the rhythmic nature of our souls
doused inside the deepest lakes of your remedies
unchained in the pure wonder of your brilliance
Feb 6, 2017
Feb 6, 2017 at 7:53 AM UTC
I lack complete memories there exists but fragments
From incidents that took place sometime ago
Like ricochets left behind in the wake of a fired bullet
They contain no context nothing tangible to recall
But abstract retentions from the distant past such as my father’s voice
Or my mother’s smile intertwined with my brother s laugh
My company psychiatrist diagnosis is PTSD
I whole heartedly object and resentfully disagree
It was like this before the second Gulf even before Kandahar
Ever before the war broke my bleeding heart
The immortal last words of Andy to his best friend Red
Pretty much sums up my infatuation on lost time and absent reminiscences which I won’t evoke
As I choose not to because I rather not; hence I quote
‘’You know what the Mexicans says about the Pacific
They say it has no memory
That’s where I want to live the rest of my life
A warm place with no memory’’
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 2:31 PM UTC
Grandest mothers of infinity
Hydrogen powered entities seasoned in the golden years of expanding illuminating the universe peering from my night sky
Exploding your cosmic rich guts to form our eclectic experience
From love thirsty suffering endless happiness
Iron sprinting in my heart and veins from the bellies of gas burning fiery giants shine their smiles with beautiful faces
Flares shooting from a creator that does not think or feel-just acting as an is
Born from tightly hugged and squeezed by gravity’s riches swirled for billions of years until bam!
A sun god is born
Conceived in the universes filaments
Of still gases huddling up against the cold dark reaches of outer space voidness
Precursors to intelligent life waiting for it’s first blinking eye with a tear holding a caress
Emptiness turning into something with viewable aesthetics drawing musically shredding pleasuring our minds
Until our stars grow then donated to universal orphans waiting to be born as poets or fools
Musicians
Artists
Or human pollutants
Ignorant to the grand exoskeleton of the bunched galaxies entwined into filaments stringing along
Harmoniously singing in non audible dimensions
All galloping apart faster than seconds ago
Faster than physical perceptions-only godly retentions
Expanding energy from mass accelerated times human perception unknown
Like mysterious love letters place in a lavish garden for one’s truly
Like minuet ancient footprints in antique beach sea soggy sand
Transcending our space and concealed time locked in your heads
As we sleep
worlds without end
spinning weeping
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014 at 2:46 PM UTC
Swam these waters,
Tasted these dreams,
Felt these desires,
Wasted in screams,
Loved in excitement,
Pleasured by pain,
Torn from contentment,
Feeling so strange,
Embraced in memories,
Hidden from regrets,
Laced in elegances,
Hoping to forget,
Kept from decisions
Held in distension,
Caged by emotions,
World of retentions,
All in the scope of the minds most curiously created contention.
Feb 21, 2014
Feb 21, 2014 at 1:48 PM UTC
“I do not know when love became evanescent,
I know not of another that has felt this way,
Your name is a hand I can never hold or embrace,
Love for her now became a smoldering virtue,
I think of lovers as trees growing to and fro,
Always searching for the same light sun shines,
A photo of thee in my pocket that has wilted away,
I seem to grow accustom to loss and dealing with it,
My life has become the coincidence of a bad retention,
Retentions of sight sound and fear of distant apparitions,
I then wonder did she ever really love me did she even care,
Her utterance faded and lost its way over her tongue,
How I loved thee with all my sanity and integrity,
How your love brought me comfort to my abysmal life,
Now my love merely brought more pain than deserved,
Her love now nothing but ardent wilderness with no mist,
Physique of this matron the dexterity shall I seek,
My aridity for thee my ardor for thee is perennial,
Oh great ocean of the sea that barrows fools along,
Conveying forth afore forlorn subsidies of homage,
Drab tears of the sea eternal thirst for thee follow me,
As my apathy follows with such abiding anguish,
Conatus to alleviate my anima in the deep blue”
By Andrew Guzaldo 08/24/2018 ©
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 24, 2018 at 7:08 PM UTC
My heart thumps like the vibrant and passionate drums of the Congo as I begin to relay the events of my childhood
Like a 1954 VCR stuck on rewind my mind paces swiftly through the cosmos of my retentions, But it’s all just an animated blur,
As the clock turns and time embarks on its age old journey to the vastness of its continuum I begin to float deeper into the vastness of my recollections,
I catch a glimpse of serenity through a sheet of opaque glass,
I see me!
With clear focus I see myself as a cheerful kid without a care in the world, I was but a mere infant to this infamous and masterfully created mechanism they call life,
Its complex formulas codes and algorithms a mystery to man and a masterpiece to its creator,
its beauty hidden in the most sacred and innocent places ,
Yes the same life that is ever so eager to smugly and violently recycle and re-reposition people in an instant was radiating from me like a translucent light bulb in the still of the darkest night,
it’s easy to cry and say it’s not right how life never seems to do you right and blend in with the night,
Its easy to become a backdrop and forget that you are the light that gives many others sight,
Problem is you perceive life as a tyrant forget your part and try run from it but you’re the main star you just can’t afford it, So stand up and run towards it ,it’s yours to mould so get up and own it,
See it took me less than an instant as I left behind the former I mean the mental state of an infant to comprehend that to run life’s extreme distance you need to wear the shoes of persistence or assume the heavy burden of insignificance ,
As the clock turns get up and live it make it yours
one shot is all you got its best you use it.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 6:32 AM UTC