my friends say i need to open my eyes but aquarians are dreamy types and i broke my glasses so what difference does it make if i’m sleeping anyways?
i'm 20 years old and that's not a lot
boys think i'm cute
but they think my friend is hot
cause she ******* is

i keep getting high and redownloading tinder
when i'm home alone in my living room
with the office on repeat and my cats
attacking my feet

meanwhile i'm getting annoyed because i'm just trying to eat
and everyone keeps telling me i need some thicker meat
on my bones
and telling me i should watch my texts
and to call if it involves **** or ***


my best friends are sleeping together
i wish i could make this thing between us better
but you kind of **** dude
and i’m sorry but i don’t think i can talk to you
without being rude so..
i guess i don’t really wish to change things after all

if love is abandoning my writing because i don't know where all the pain went
perhaps this is love
if love is laying awake fighting the melatonin with methylfolate in your smile
perhaps this is love
if love is slamming doors and being unable to feel anything but you
perhaps this is love
if you could call redownloading the happy songs on my playlist and in my head "love"
perhaps you're right
i am too adolescental to know
all i know is that i have not felt passion like his touch since i can remember
he makes me numb and yet i feel everything at once
how dare he
he is the reason i lose sleep and my parents lose patience
how dare he
he is the reason i am allowing myself to feel things and not force poetry out like a dying fruit to the thirsty
but sometimes it flows on its own
how dare he
to bring my mind away from all ive ever known and all ive ever felt and refuse to call me his own
i have never wanted to be own
if love is the phrase "there's a first time for everything,"
perhaps this is love after all