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Mike Hauser Mar 2013
Hare Krishna's
In their Pickups
Depressed Comics
Down on their Luck
Teenage Girls
Screaming Meme's
****** *****'s
Leftward Leaning
Vincent Price
Flo and Eddie
Rodger Rabbit
Priscilla Presley
Nuns in Habits
Dwarf's in Ponchos
Deadbeat Dads
Munching Nachos
Right-Wing Nut Jobs
Trading Slogans
A few Hero's
Including Hogan

Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Buddhist Monks
With Electric Banjos
Holding Signs Up
Of Marlon Brando
Taxi Cabs
Blaring Show Tunes
Pregnant Women
Down-loading Soon
Derby Jockeys
Flying Monkeys
Kool-Aidholics
Skittle Junkies
Bozo The Clown
Bumper Stickers
Psychedelic
Crazed Toad Lickers
Rhinestone Cowboys
In their Skivvies
Gothic Girls
Heebie Jeebies

Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Blue Haired Granny's
In pink Moo Moos
Ballerina's In
Tattered Tutus
Mathematician's
Number Crunchers
Even have Some
Out to Lunchers
Model 50's
Do *** Daddies
One More Round Of
Flo and Eddie
People Sneaking
Across the Border
Lonely Fry Cooks
Taking Orders
A Few Wannabes
Not Saying Much
Will The Real Elvis
Please Stand Up

Are just a few of the sights that you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Thank you...Thank you very Much

Ladies and Gentlemen
Elvis...Has Left The Building
Brent Kincaid Sep 2015
Life is good, fighting the good fight.
A bunch of beers with the boys, and
Standing up for what is truly right.
It’s what we do on Saturday night.
Kicking the **** out of blacks,
Jews, Mexicans, Asians and ****
And any not quite right whites,
Chanting three letters, waving flags.

It’s the American way.
No matter what liberals say,
It’s the only true way,
Be a conservative today!
Make a public stand
Show them where you live.
Hate anybody who is not
A red-blooded conservative!

The ***** liberals are coming
To take our jobs and weapons.
But, we are not going to let them.
They must think we’re all women.
We are real men, good and true
And we know what we have to do.
We believe in the red white and blue
And the sissified can all just go *****.

It’s the American way.
No matter what liberals say,
It’s the only true way,
Be a conservative today!
Make a public stand
Show them where you live.
Hate anybody who is not
A red-blooded conservative!

We believe in God, and Jesus Christ
And anyone who does not isn’t nice.
If this describes you, take some advice
Go live somewhere else and eat rice.
Because this is a God-fearing land
And if you can’t quite understand
Or you have something else planned
You will feel the back of our hand.

It’s the American way.
No matter what liberals say,
It’s the only true way,
Be a conservative today!
Make a public stand
Show them where you live.
Hate anybody who is not
A red-blooded conservative!
Brent Kincaid Jan 2017
Oopy Doopy, Super Sloopy.
Loopy snoopy, pants apoopy.
Lippy hippy, slippy dippy.
Nasty-nicey, normally snippy.

Loosey goosey, chocolate moussey.
Usually *** goofy as Gary Busey.
Hinky-stinky presidential *****.
Winky-blinky, dangerously stinko.

Hippity hoppy, flippy-floppy
Get a mop, it never stops.
Laughy gaffe-y, riffy-raffy
Face as gross as rotten taffy.

Whammy-bammy, scary scammy
Mammy-jamming Uncle Sammy.
Lumpy-dumpy, far from humpy
******* up future jumpy bumpy.

Glossy boss, a frightful loss
Ungathered moss at twice the cost.
Serious gap while the country naps
****** sap giving us a slap.

Frightening nooses tightening,
Rights denied like summer lightning.
Ignoring Popes and Snopes
Hopeless dopes put us on the ropes.

Immune to our cries, elected guys
Make horrifying decisions most unwise.
Like black magic before all our eyes
We’re leaderless as freedom dies.
JD Connolly Dec 2011
I was asked to write about a girl I’d never had at all-
It was an easy enough task.  
I haven’t written about anything else since I can remember.

I’ve imagined her as the source behind all of Whitman’s Eidolins
And every young boy’s first faustian plea-

I’ve imagined her as the reason I sold my soul to a wooden box and torch songs-
and forty thousand thimbles full of tequila.

I addressed her earlier today when I should’ve been relating my own moral codex-
To Mitchell’s ‘The Other Bird.’

I had, instead, stumbled across the Blue Tail Fly and thought of how could I slip that into-
A simple (humbly shouted) mantra about getting her to step outside with me.

What a beautiful day to try,
To destroy the things that have left you ary-
You’re just as marvelous as you are shy
We’ll brush away that blue-tail fly,
It’s alright-alright-alright.

How could I address her without the least bit of Americana?

Though, I highly doubt trading spit with me constitutes marvelous dissent.
It might- but only in the context that she’d be as weary of those estival fumes-
Those threadbare summers.
The divulsion from stick wars to stick wars that end with-
a coral flush and real bruises.

That business of cruelty as William Carlos Williams describes it.

It’d be easy to talk about her throughout every-day.
I could tell you that she’d have the incantations to make nature act,

She would have never seen a tornado outside of a television,
but she’d say they emit a wonderful cobalt blue when they’re intruding on peace and plain.

She might even chalk them up to table-legs prone to constant spiraling and amorphous shape-

And up there we’d be- exchanging comments on the land beneath
She’d drink her coffee without any sugar
But, I’d offer it every time
While I focused on keeping my nerves from making the table shake-

Avoiding upsetting anything,
that might get to make it to her lips.

I’d tell her I’ve seen those blocks
Emitted those midnight-shrieks
Pulled from those basement-band symposiums
Tailored those half-alpha ***** tongues

If it made her comfortable with my lack of attention,
My eyes and mind having been reserved for that night-
When she runs in with a copy of The Love Song of J.Alfred Pufrock
Yelling- ‘Hey, isn’t this the only poem you give a **** about?’

And I slap it out of her hands.
I was takin' a trip out to LA
Toolin' along in my Chevrolet
Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio
Jes' as I cross the Mississippi line
I heard that highway start to whine
And I knew that left rear tire was about to go
Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight
So I jes' limped down the shoulder on the rim
I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
It was right in front of this little bar
A kind of a redneck lookin' joint called the Dew Drop Inn
Well I stuffed my hair up under my hat
And told the bartender that I had a flat
And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one
There was one thing I was sure proud to see
There wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him an' me
And he just looked disgusted an' pointed toward the telephone
I called up the station down the road a ways
And he said he wasn't very busy t'day
And he could have somebody there in jest 'bout ten minutes or so
He said now you jes' stay right where yer at and I didn't bother
Tellin' the durn fool
I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go
I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
When some guy walked in an' said who owns this car
With the peace sign the mag wheels and four on the floor
Well he looked at me and I **** near died
And I decided that I'd jus wait outside
So I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door
Jes' when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
These five big dude come strollin' in
With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth
An' I was almost to the door when the biggest one
Said you tip your hat to this lady son
An' when I did all that hair fell out from underneath
Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
'Specially when there was three of them and only one of me
Well they all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick
And I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick
So I jes' reached out an' kicked ol' green-teeth right in the knee
He let out a yell that'd curl your hair
But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
And said watch him folks 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous man
Well you may not know it but this man's a spy
He's an undercover agent for the FBI
And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux ****
He was still bent over holdin' on to his knee
But everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me
And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went
I said would you beleive this man has gone as far
As tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
And he voted for George McGoveren for president
Well he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type ***** ****
I betcha he's even got a ****** flag
Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage
He's a snake in the grass I tell ya guys
He may look dumb but that's jus a disguise
He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage
They all started lookin' real suspicious at him
And he jumped up an' said jes' wait a minute Jim
You know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my life
I'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Burch
And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church
And I ain't even got a garage you can call home and ask my wife
Then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed
But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck
And when I hit the ground I was makin' tracks
And they were jes' takin' my car down off the jacks
So I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother up
Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud
Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd
Comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trot
An' I guess I shoulda gone ahead an' run
But somehow I couldn't resist the fun
Of chasin' them jes' once around the parkin' lot
Well they're headin' for their car but I hit the gas
And spun around and headed them off at the pass
Well I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the air
Well I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin'
Like their heads were on fire and their ***** was catchin'
But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there
When I hit the road I was really wheelin'
Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'
An' I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arkansas
I think I'm gonna re-route my trip
I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
If I went to LA via Omaha!
Now picture this... I communed with chaos and conjured up an ancient conquistador by the name of Quetzalcoatl. He called me a chickenshit coward before grabbing me by my cranial consciousness container; and with a chiropractic crack, just like that, my chakras connected and I channeled the grizzled ghost of Ol' Ronnie Reagan. He gurgled a “Hello” and grumbled “Just Say No” ... “Did you know my Nancy fancied fucktarded fantasies, or that she believed in batshit lunacy like astrology and necromancy?" ***** better know, it's bros before hoes cuz this ghost with the most is about to get gangsta with my ***** Miki-G... "Yo, Gorbachev, you old goblin goat, wipe off that **** stain on your head and tear down that muthafuckin' wall.” After guzzling a gallon of ***** Putin ****** in, he gave Ol’ Ron a wink with a glowing goat eye of iris framed rectangle dark... lowering his headgear he ran slowly while singing a slurred ***** polka rendition of possibly a ***** Riot song. The chorus went something like "******* the Bolsheviks with 11 inch strap-on *****" to which Ronnie replied, “Ewe can dew it to Nancy too!”, as his horns hit cement setting off the biggest supernova block party this side of the galaxy. When the dust settled, everybody was gone and all was right with the quarks and the gluons. The quasars aligned and spun in a symmetrical dance inducing this trance that gave me the vision of which you are reading and the bliss about to unfold here on the shores of Château de Event Horizon, my own private island. As I watch the goblin goats manufactured from the genes of Gorbachev graze the galactic grassy knoll, I’m soon seduced by the song of a sidereal siren... KA-BLAM a ******* shipwreck I endure. When I came to, at the end of my rescue, by whom I suspect to be the same starry-eyed saboteur. She whispers somniferously that to be saved I must partake in her hedonist holy communion. “Drink this neutron star wine in remembrance of my taste, distilled from grapes grown on gamma ray vines representing the lust-laced blood of salvation.” I, a blissom blind bavian obviously, find myself beneath an altar awaiting with bated breath and baculus bombé, bewitched by this bathykolpian beauty of absolute perfection, it’s made clear from my enormous ******* that I’m eager to worship betwixt her exquisite bombosity. “I come to you… er... and on you... with this sacrificial offering of byssus ******* and baptismal borborology... but before I implore... first, hit this baetyl of brume and breathe in a Big Bang **** hit of some killer cosmic kush grown on Kepler 452…. *******?”

“What if I were to bind you up with a sash? Byssus bound with blindfold, and belayed beautifully as can be. Blissom confinement is liberating when not meant to abash. Bestowing to you a masterpiece in *******, a most exquisite ligatured apogee.”

Exhaling miasmic veils of woven haze blindfolds she blows, until we are unable to see. Instead we let our lips caress each others flesh in search of the treasures buried just below. The ritual begins when I go down to taste your nectar of the gods, feel my fingers scrawl spells on your flesh in hieroglyphic haste, Anubis awakes when I invoke he to weigh my heart and become Osiris resurrected, manifested as broken pieces tossed and lost by the tempest of temptation. To traverse this tribulation and emerge triumphant, invoke Isis and find the 13 to complete the puzzle of my psyche. But if you want your toes curled and that shaking sensation, it’s 14 you’ll need to complete the capstone of my ******* obelisk. Then we can transcend by the touch of the tongue, ******* ritual recitation through unspoken glossolalia until we complete our journey to become the Gods of our own creation. Why should we not manifest through sensual sidereal sexuality? Orchestrating a galactic glowing mass of groans from groins grinding in tune with the pulsar powered music produced by Love, Lust, and Longing. Our libidos vibrate as sine waves in harmony with strummed string theory, for we are the Cosmic Conductors controlling this sonorous ****** symphony riding gravitational waves that will forever ripple throughout the fabric of spacetime. Cosmological carnal knowledge collapses and condenses our atoms, coalescing to produce photons of pure light to illuminate the encroaching dark void of loneliness which desires to devour it all.
Ken Pepiton Dec 2021
I suppose, all that has been said, is said to have been contained
in the canon… what I means to say, I mean
everybody
knows
its eber-tongue
hen en-I,
Enkidu, where are you?

Dusty trails, speak well of water on this way.
The deer and the antelope drink every day.
In the time
I was alive, many lies fought for my attention.

I knew more than one thing about every thing,
I thought I could be of best use
as a sharer.
teller of told tales, singer
of the songs in the air, and then
there
was radio,
and I was a child,
listening… with many more of my sort than anticipated
hearing white noise laced with wishes once
made bound to regulated times and steps
- odd boom boom doom boom
-on and on as tellers call all ye told old tales come in
free
right way to keep time to come
become time to go be,
- odd boom boom doom boom - odd boom boom doom boom
-on and on as dancers call all ye  ol'doe-see-doe
- edge of ever on a tiny spider's kite, we are the light
weyekin, we guide you, when you listen,
this is the way
walk ye, init, set
drop. Settle, solid, si,
walk the canyon, our grandfather, on my mother line,
built, and as he built, he
J.C.Boyett, met a man, willing to use a picked up magic
trick to make a trail to the bottom,
for to make somebody rich
prospectin' for batshit,
yep, nitrates, as in
nitro-glycering, stabilized with tarry pine saw dust
twist
tight, right, in a Mason Jar, metaphorically speaking,
if we agree to make this easy,
we can move the invisible crystal mountain. AI gotcha.
thinking may
be a giant radio, making us think
reality has this.
This and other resting places, landmarks, history set
for me, I was only there, one of the other Gumps,
who lived to rear unbroken children,
free from financial dread,
at the common level labor class,
endentured and polygripped

we can bite off more than most can swallow,

as collected from bits and pieces of literature,
literal retelling of tales told to teach
a child choice,

choose the good and hate, wait, hate

ta, beel gotta be paid,
the attention, usual tip to jump start
an actual engine
https://biblehub.com/hebrew/2870.htm

Definition: "good for nothing", an Aramean (Syrian)

who says, idunno, but AI may, say may is my word,
may obeys me, as if I may know any thing
to any depth. And never interpret the vision as reason
for war.

Truth to you be, flush the lies you know now, you hold,
to hold others to the task of paying attention,

for nothing, save the use of knowing how to
read, when you wish to know
the meaning of a thing, any known, on any level of life's
pearling swirl of pushing and pulling and playing

no winning innings or taking bats,
or running laps, prepped to punish any who displedge
alliegiance to the story as we hold it
now
in our military mind. Semper fi, and they say Boo, Jah
these days, having failed to feel the loss

the faith of our mother's, born up under,
until the time I was alive, simultaneously
with more sublingual mortal minds hearing
Good Night Irene, from those ***** ******
hill billy sangers, boy, howdy
we sang, dang me

re boots
made for walkin'
down hill side, shale,
takin' to a realm of reasons to sense,
not see, but know, a breach

in the barriers we can construct in stories,
now, we got cg, we see all the drama
an instants worth of attention can attach
an insult
- that takes a thousand generations to hit
in a Bible story, an old novel, core cast
architypes pro-fess phet

bet is equal to Prophesyorsci
or greater than con-fess? Guesses are bets.

Set. In a white room,
with black curtains, as seen on tv, after
where ever is breached

and each signal passing skin is in harmony
with each interdigitating arachnoid fiber
cocooning my brain and spine,
Arachoid mater, spider mother, mo'fo, gnoso
gnoshit *** passt the final antennae array to activate

the tree of science has far deeper,
primal laughs

than any mind made up to provoke umph,
umph, umph
as a song, so some day we may sing along
an umph umph song

remembering a certain time, when certain songs
was always secret ethos exoto notta chance

they dance in hell, but in the visions,
always they be dancin'
in the dark
we don't seeum, see, the spirits, are all that
survives, soul
is locked in history whoever tells it same longest
lives, who ever forgets
is helpless. without the filter, pro-vided, and marked
mater
as a brand. the Wombed version had the mods to insulate
the lizard's gift of quick
final
once, held, no flow go no will to be
wrong,
right, we needed to add the topgraphmap thingy

polymerical mira distinct walls with nanomeros singing
or dancing
laughing, yes, yessing yes, is what that is

children laughing, on a cold and dreary day.
What good does it do to say nothing I mean? Who really owns the internet...
Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-gabage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be irreversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and self-lessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.
Ron Conway Jun 2019
A dove is just a pigeon
in the politic religion
Cuz pacifism's not a lot of fun
You might not know your pastor is
A fire-fighting arsonist
You know behind his back he holds a gun

Don't fret about his competence
The facts are of no consequence
So long as your agenda is upheld
And celebrate diversities
In ***** universities
There is no need for cultures all to meld

The temperature's not rising
Don't know who you have advising
The winter still feels pretty cold to me
In any case the cause of it
Is farting cows and penguin ****
The rest is just a wild hyperbole

                                       rc
Mike Hauser May 2018
Hare Krishna's
In their Pickups
Depressed Comics
Down on their Luck
Teenage Girls
Screaming Meme's
****** *****'s
Leftward Leaning
Vincent Price
Flo and Eddie
Rodger Rabbit
Priscilla Presley
Nuns in Habits
Dwarf's in Ponchos
Deadbeat Dads
Munching Nachos
Right-Wing Nut Jobs
Trading Slogans
A few Hero's
Including Hogan

Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Buddhist Monks
With Electric Banjos
Holding Signs Up
Of Marlon Brando
Taxi Cabs
Blaring Show Tunes
Pregnant Women
Down-loading Soon
Derby Jockeys
Flying Monkeys
Kool-Aidholics
Skittle Junkies
Bozo The Clown
Bumper Stickers
Psychedelic
Crazed Toad Lickers
Rhinestone Cowboys
In their Skivvies
Gothic Girls
Heebie Jeebies

Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Blue Haired Granny's
In pink Moo Moos
Ballerina's In
Tattered Tutus
Mathematician's
Number Crunchers
Even have Some
Out to Lunchers
Model 50's
Do *** Daddies
One More Round Of
Flo and Eddie
People Sneaking
Across the Border
Lonely Fry Cooks
Taking Orders
A Few Wannabes
Not Saying Much
Will The Real Elvis
Please Stand Up

Are just a few of the sights that you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee

Thank you...Thank you very Much

Ladies and Gentlemen
Elvis...Has Left The Building
I admired my dentist's honesty when he proclaimed: "This reminds me of my recent outbreak of genital ******!" or I'm considering finding a new dentist after mine proclaimed: "This reminds me of my recent outbreak of **** warts!" Why must each thing remind him of one thing? I'm so glad that he's a homosexual. It makes things nicer. Crazy Bruce Jenner will decay as a man hormonally. Why won't you grow up? Johnny Cash played Czechoslovakia. The ***** Polacks had no idea as to why big Johnny "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die."
Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-gabage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be irreversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and selflessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.
Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-garbage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be irreversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and selflessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.
Traci Sims Nov 2021
How did we miss it?
Big Bird's jab revealed his stance:
Feather-clad *****!
#SenatorCruz #GOPfakeoutrage #aviancancelculture
Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-garbage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be ir-reversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and selflessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.
I am agonizingly tortured by your abiding love for nationalized gun control with its '48-era Soviet Union Warsaw Pact-styled Joe Stalin
red-*****-****** implication that no dentist may shoot, to death, a
trans-****** in-between, frothing-at-the-mouth, queer rabies patient
Dry-chapped babes in hoops display it squarely with self-awareness
& crooked actualization, slight agitation & pathetical determination
hampered by bouts of disruptive pancreatico-digestive regurgitation
on bags of rocks, rags born of sox on hags sans pox-clot infiltration
I am agonizingly tortured by your abiding love for nationalized gun control with its '48-era Soviet Union Warsaw Pact-styled Joe Stalin
red-*****-****** implication that no dentist may shoot, to death, a
trans-****** in-between, frothing-at-the-mouth, queer rabies patient
who as a **** killer'd infect Beatrice, June, Janina, Eve & Hiroko to
exact vengeance on the lovely x-wives of crapped-out Henry Miller
whose monuments stand taller than the potency of a Lithium pill or
the dead-wood ashes added to Alpo as a commercial dog-food filler
Audrey's lips wrapped around his teeth like a wrist watch. Toby could feel her savage love so much. Audrey pulled her thighs into the naked hollows of his underarms. If this wasn't love he couldn't tell. How long they had wondered what closeness felt like. Audrey had to say: "My lover, I need to know the sexiness of your intimacy a lot." Toby answered, "Me too." That day Audrey became impregnated big time. Would anyone notice in 8 months? Toby might, especially if he ran into Audrey's pregnancy doctor.
   Audrey's uncle was visiting from New Mexico for a month. He was a kindly man whom Audrey liked. No monkey business with uncle Chuck. He was 100% normal. That's for sure. One morning when Audrey was rinsing her ****** uncle Chuck entered the kitchen. "What's up Audrey?" Chuck asked.
   "Just washin' my *******."
   "Big night?"
   "No, Uncle, just routine laundering."
   Their back-and-forth banter was casual.
   "Today, I've got 3 appointments," Chuck mused.
   "Hand to me my Kunta Kinte commemorative *****,"
Audrey instructed casually enough.
   "This one?" Chuck asked.
   "Yes, thanks," Audrey said as she relaxed her **** muscles.
   "Good-bye," Chuck said 30 seconds before he left.
   "Good-bye," Audrey replied 7 seconds before he left.

Chapter 2, Toby's gay link to the Mafia was about to be revealed. Toby wasn't gay, not even a little bit. He loved women a lot. Once when a gay man asked Toby to marry him, Toby didn't hesitate to say NO! and the gay man knew it. Deep respect warmed the gay community as word spread quickly. So when anyone says that Toby's gay ties to the Sicilian Cosa Nostra Mafia were homosexual they're wrong, Mafia-garbage-dumpster-dead-wrong!

Chapter 3, Uncle Chuck's hidden secret wasn't that he was normal, 100% so and everyone knew it. But uncle Chuck had a hidden secret that Audrey must not find out about or her life would be irreversibly changed and it could never be changed back again.

Chapter 4, Audrey took L.S.D. and had an awful flashback to 1999 about illegal drug use. She had been shacking up with a man who respected women a lot. He saw that she was L.S.D.-free and selflessly offered to her L.S.D. for free. She accepted it and immediately felt that life was enhanced by Hospice care in the long run.

Chapter 5, "His lard *** brought him down. He fell to the floor, not to the ground" was what uncle Chucky wanted on his tombstone that marked the muddy grave where he would be buried dead. It didn't matter, the seepage. Lee Oswald was corrupted by it and no comrade cried for months because he was a stinking, cruddy, raunchy, Marxist, Leninist, ****** red ***** Russian spy.
Why must each thing remind him of one thing? I'm so glad that he's a homosexual. It makes things nicer. Crazy Bruce Jenner will decay as a man hormonally. Why won't you grow up? Johnny Cash played Czechoslovakia. The ***** Polacks had no idea as to why big Johnny "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die."
Kelly McManus Sep 2021
Hollywood's a branch
of the military now
seems ***** some how

             Kelly McManus
It's Sunday morning, after a good *****, & I'm *****-jacked flaccid 'cause Bruce Jenner's gay, on wolverine claw that's done rotted gray
[I dare not stick out my tongue as I fear opportunistical Ninja tongue surgeons! My grand-mother had no belly button after the gall bladder surgeons were through. It's okay. She crapped out many moons ago.]
   Good nightie, the frilly kind. I'm more than just hairy **** and a good time behind the **** heap. I'm a cool, cold, foolish folly who's fool-proof..."Is this Alpo?" I asked the waitress.  The ***** slipped me a gob of Alpo! I'll vote to shred her amoral soul and never will I eat Alpo again. It made me bark & growl. I'm on a roll, a dinner roll. I have bent over backwards to bend my back.
   I admired my dentist's honesty when he proclaimed: "This reminds me of my recent outbreak of genital ******!" or I'm considering finding a new dentist after mine proclaimed: "This reminds me of my recent outbreak of **** warts!" Why must each thing remind him of one thing? I'm so glad that he's a homosexual. It makes things nicer. Crazy Bruce Jenner will decay as a man hormonally. Why won't you grow up? Johnny Cash played Czechoslovakia. The ***** Polacks had no idea as to why big Johnny "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die."
Kelly McManus Aug 2020
*****'s and commies
and hardlining swammies
terrorists who'd like
to embalm me
nationalism is rising again
you look around
you don't have any friends
where's the daylight
in this dark night
what's the world coming to
I know it's not nice
not to be polite
but what am I going to do
escalation across the nation
discontentment blooms
on top of that
a plague keeps you trapped
can't even
leave your room
what can you do
what can you say
what will tomorrow bring
all we can do
is cry boo-hoo
and hope that they find
a vaccine

                  Kelly McManus

— The End —