"okcupid" poems
He was never my classmate,
Neither was he my schoolmate,
As we have met on OkCupid,
Which is where we got suited.
He soon became my tablemate,
Then got promoted to bedmate,
Ranging from late-night nosh
To some naughty oh-my-gosh.
He was my almost-roommate,
Now, a hopeful housemate,
Since he would visit me daily
And keep me company gaily.
He was frequently my seatmate,
As well as invaluable playmate,
For we traveled places together
And cloyingly wrestled each other.
He has always been my helpmate,
And is presently my best teammate,
As he has cheered me up from afar,
As we chat as if there is no au revoir.
He will one day become my inmate,
Plus my hard-working workmate,
Since we will both have mini-me’s
Forcing us to slog away on our knees.
He is undoubtedly my soulmate,
One who is to become my lifemate,
For he is a romantic yet **** geek,
A keeper with charms all too unique.
Jun 20, 2016
Jun 20, 2016 at 10:00 AM UTC
What am I thinking about on these hot summer days
besides your cool, coy, cheerful gaze.
Oh, I'm moving forward but still pondering on
of your sparkle in the distant northwest horizon.
I'm thinking of those twinkles in your smile
that travel 1000s of fiber optic online miles.
I'm saddened to read your goodbye... and see you go
You, and your online profile... that is... this thoughtfulbeau.
I'll miss your Hi!, Hey!, Yah!, Yeah!... and your full smile
your patience for my replies... and willingness to stay online awhile.
I'll miss your attempts to banter... and our brief chats
your witty answers... and allergic opinion about cats.
Sigh. . . .
With your goodbye and turning off the dating light
I could choose to wallow in my own spite.
I feel the loss but not rejected or hurt
I'm filled with positive regard and a connective comfort.
Such as nectar turns into honey by a bee...
you sweetened my besotted feelings into endearing bounty.
So it feels right
knowing your heart
has found its light.
A local love
who hears your voice
respects your choice
and hopefully fits
like a warm glove.
So keep your lights bright
to keep each other warm
through the cool and comforting
Portland nights.
Peace out... ;o)
Jul 12, 2012
Jul 12, 2012 at 11:42 PM UTC
I'm thinking about your tattoo and how much I want to kiss it.
I never saw it in person and that makes me feel like I don't know you.
I want to feed you orange slices in bed and watch the juice
drip down your lips, but then I don't think I've ever seen you eat fruit.
There's always a version of you in these poems,
but it's wrapped up with him and him and him.
He's only ever heard my voice on the phone and I want to ask,
Don't you want to see these lips in person?
but I can't be **** and I don't know if I want to be.
You told me that you almost passed out after I kissed you once
and I can't think of anything more me than that.
I am always too much even when I'm trying so hard to be small.
I pretend like I'm advertising to the public, but in truth
I never keep my okcupid profile active for more than a month.
I go through phases of wanting to be loved and wanting to be used
and I can't help but blame you, even if that's unfair.
You loved me and used me and loved me and used me
but I just loved and loved and cried and loved some more.
I want to promise that this is the last poem I ever write about you,
but my eighth grade teacher told me to never put anything I don't believe in writing.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm glad you're not in my life anymore,
but that doesn't mean I don't miss you.
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 11:06 AM UTC
1. Silence always means he's thinking about his deep and everlasting love for me.
2. Farts are his way of glorifying my existence. And burps always get a "God bless you."
3. Him and Gary the get-well-gorilla want me to be happy.
4. On OKCupid, the opening line of his first very first message to me was "Bonjour! While reading your profile, I noticed you're into gaming."
5. He found that street, you know, with the black mailbox at the end of it.
6. I have never wished for him to "find an antique rocking chair to die in." (ESOTSM)
7. We will have a hammock in our attic. And a room for our four cats, named Fiona, Penelope, Montozo, and Ernesto.
8. We will kiss in a tent in a woods, and then kiss in Paris, and finally settle which is more romantic.
9. [R]Otman's Ottomans is our future enterprise.
10. Oh, and, uh, I guess I love him, and stuff.
Feb 28, 2013
Feb 28, 2013 at 5:17 PM UTC
As the wet wind hums its way through our two tower six-cylinder apartment complex. Birds fall from their naked winter wept branches, braced by stiff bones, mapped out in Alexandria, carrying notes from El Salvador. The corner market is closed, never opened. A hair salon stands in its place, it wrings out the "R's" from a Philadelphia warshing.
And like every night, hot air cakes on an extra layer of indecipherable red dots up the arms and around the neck, minute pustules of hypochondria that steal my finger tips from the keyboard. I scratch and tip them, looking under their fiery scarlet caps for, I-don't-know-what disease. Paul says It's that magic school bus melanoma, typhoid drip, it comes at you from a computer screen and eats at your nervous system until you've got the wambles.
Tuesday's used to be the worst, until I OWNED THAT **** I make a pronoun out of aluminum foil and where it as a hat on a first date. OKCupid's not bad for conceptual art projects. I carry it within me like an anodyne complex, out into the guzzling wind, the air that comes into my mouth and looks for any breath within me that it can go out of me with, and I'm breathless.
I abandon my miniature house to enter the pyramidal pinetum to the North. Wild paradise shrubs gather with songless animal noises watching as I take naked photographs of my father to preserve his body from anything less than his great immortal end. He lives on black moss and water from a nearby bourn,
he's the mien of an Anthony Hopkins, living in a hologram I saw in my dream last night.
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014 at 6:25 AM UTC
1. Played Eminem at full volume because I didn’t have to listen to you complain about **** rap”
2. Cried while listening to Cinderella Man.
3. Listened to music by Drag Queens because I love myself.
4. Danced and cried alone in my room
5. Took advantage of the fact that I still had your Netflix password.
6. Made an OkCupid because Tinder is garbage. I had way too much fun sarcastically making my profile. I included the fact that I don’t believe in wearing matching socks and quoted drag queens to excess because I don’t get cute I get drop dead gorgeous.
7. Looked for girls on OkCupid.
8. Realized my sexuality.
9. Went on a date a week after. It was terrible, he talked about himself the entire time and he didn’t even have an interesting personality.
10. Decided to date myself. I found out I’m a way better date than anyone I had ever dated.
11. Joined a dance group, a Zumba group, a kickboxing group, a yoga group, a barre fitness group, and the summer rifle club. And I discovered I loved it all.
12. Went to bars on a Tuesday night because they had comedy events and burlesque shows. This was the best date I took myself on.
13. I moved on. I didn’t move on to someone else. I moved on to myself. Because I am the best thing for myself.
May 26, 2019
May 26, 2019 at 2:15 AM UTC
Okay, Cupid
shoot that arrow
into the abyss
of the internet.
Find that boy
who finds my faults
and wills them
to the conversations.
Okay, Cupid
tie the rope
and connect the two
people who feel alone.
Shoot another arrow
and aim it towards my heart
connect me and another
to start the conversation.
Okay, Cupid
find the boy
to meet this girl
and start the romance.
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 5:14 PM UTC