090316 #AlphabetsOfLove #SpokenWords

Nag-aral ako't rumolyo ang panahon
Nagbilang ng taon, nabihag ng pag-ibig Niyang pabaon.
Naghalungkat ako ng mga mumunti Niyang Katha
Sa tarangkahang puno
Ng higit pa sa dalubhasang mga Salita.
At heto --
Heto ang Bukas na Liham
Ng pag-ibig ng isang tunay na Mandirigma.
Para sa lahat ng nanghihina't nasawi ng tadhana,
Para sa lahat ng humuhugot
Sa sandamakmak na nagdidilimang mga eskima
Heto, heto nga pala ang ABAKADA ng Pag-ibig.

----

A-alalayan Kita't baka mahulog ka't masaktan pa ng iba. Baka magpasalo ka na naman sa mga bolerong nanunungkit ng pag-ibig -- silang susungkit ng mga bituin para sayo, silang haharana sayo ng kilig, silang magsasabing maghihintay sayo kahit pa sa magkabilang mundo -- silang magdudulot lamang ng matinding pait sa puso mo pag hindi ka pa handa, pag hindi ka pa nahilom at pag hindi pa panahon. Oo, silang muling gugusot ng pagkatao mo.

B-abalikan Kita, hindi dahil Ako ang nang-iwan. Pakiramdam mo kasi'y wala ka nang halaga; yung tipong iniwan ka na ng lahat sa ere't kaunti na lamang ay pabagsak ka na -- yung wala ka nang matakbuhan pa, yung paikut-ikot na lang, yung takbo ka na lang nang takbo -- hanggang sa mapagod ka na lang. Mapapagod at kusa kang hihinto -- yung bibitiw ka na, yung aayaw ka na, yung titigil ka na, yung wala ka nang pakialam. Kaya't --

K-akalingain Kita, di gaya ng pag-ibig na minsang nagpaluha sayo. Nang nasisilayan Kitang magdamagang umiiyak. At kasabay ng bawat teleseryeng pinapanood mo ay luluha ka't hahagulgol ka sa isang sulok. Paulit-ulit sa bawat alaala, parang lirikong sinasabayan mo sa bawat hugot na pasan-pasan mo. Na lahat na lang, tila ba'y konektado sa kanya. Na wala ka nang mapanghawakan pa. Iiyak ka na naman ba? Pero --

D-aramayan pa rin Kita, hindi lang sa mga pagkakataong sawi ka; pero pati sa mga oras na gusto mo siyang balikan. Doon ay papagitna Ako at pipigilin Kita. Gusto kong makita yung totoong ikaw, yung dapat sanang ikaw -- yung ikaw na kahit wala siya'y buo ka pa rin. Yung hindi mo malilimutang mahal -- mahalaga ka para sa Akin.

E-h nasasaktan ka na. Ganyan ba ang pag-ibig na gusto mo? Na siya na ang nagiging mundo mo? Na halos wala ka nang kibo sa roletang dapat sana'y para sayo? Ganyan ba, ganyan ba ang totoong nagmamahal? Na hahayaan **** malugmok ka't madungisan ang sarili ng paulit-ulit at miserable **** nakaraan? Na hindi ka na kikilos, na parang wala ka nang balak bumangon at salubungin ang araw. Na parang hahayaan mo na lamang manlamig ang kapeng itinimpla sayo ng mga higit pang nagmamahal sayo. Pero --

G-agamutin Kita. Lahat ng mga sugat at pasang idinulot sayo ng nakaraa'y pawang aalisin Ko. Ako mismo ang kukuha ng bulak at Siyang papahid at dadampi sa bawat kirot at hapding naiwan sayo ng minsang ipinaglaban mo. Ako mismo ang iihip sa bawat nangigitim at sariwang mga pantal at peklat na bumabalot at kumukubli sa dapat sanang ikaw. Handa Ako at kaya Ko -- kaya kong alisin ang lahat --

H-anggang sa makabangon kang muli't maranasan mo ang pagbabagong ganap. At mapagtanto **** hindi naman siya kawalan sa pagkatao at pagkatawag mo. Masakit man pakinggan pero oo, hindi siya ang buhay mo. Uulitin ko: hindi siya ang buhay mo. Tumingin ka sa mga mata Ko. Pagkat oo, buo ka pa rin at walang nagbago sa paningin Ko sayo.

I-iyak ka paminsan pero ang lahat ay mananatiling alaala na lamang; luha mo'y sasaluhi't pupunasan Ko. Bibilangin Ko ang bawat butil na walang humpay na dumarampi at darampi pa sayong mga pisngi, higit pa sa matatamis na pangako niyang napako na rin kalaunan. Oo, napako ang lahat -- napako ang lahat sa Akin.

L-umaban Ako at patuloy Kitang ipinaglalaban. Tiniis ko ang bawat matitinik na hagupit sa mga balat Ko; maging mga pangungutya ng mundo. Para sayo -- para sayo, lahat ay ginawa Ko na; lahat ay tinapos Ko na at lahat ay iginapos Ko na. Pagkat --

M-ahal Kita at hindi Ako magsasawang patunayan yan sayo. Walang anumang bagay sa mundo na makapagtitibag at makahihigit sa pag-ibig Kong laan sayo. Mahal Kita at mas mamahalin pa -- higit sa mga araw na bilang, higit sa mga oras na ninakaw ng dilim pagka maaga ang takipsilim, higit sa kaibuturan ng dagat na wala pang nakalalangoy -- higit sa mga panahong pipiliin **** mahalin na rin Ako.

N-i hindi Kita iiwan, ni hindi pababayaan. Kaya -- wag ka sanang matakot na buksang muli ang puso mo, pagkat ni minsan -- ni minsa'y hindi Ko naisip na biguin ka. At hindi Ko naisip na paasahin ka gamit lamang ang mga salita, pagkat kalauna'y darating Ako para sunduin ka. Totoo ang bawat pangako Ko at lahat ay para sa ikabubuti mo, kaya't panghawakan mo ito -- hindi gaya ng pagsalo ng tubig gamit ang mga kamay mo. Pero hindi, hindi masasayang ang pag-ibig mo.

O-o, naiintindihan Kita, na nahihirapan kang magtiwalang muli dahil sa sobrang nasaktan ka na. Hindi Kita minamadali at hindi Ko ipipilit ang pag-ibig Ko sayo. Hahayaan Kita -- hahayaan Kita kasi gusto kong kusa ang pagtitiwala't pagmamahal mo. At --

P-apasanin Kita. Gaya ng isang Inahing naglilimlim sa kanyang mga inakay, gaya ng isang Inahing hahagis sa kanila sa himpapawid gamit ang sariling mga pakpak. At Gaya ng isang Inahing sasalo at papasan sa kanila pag nahulog silang muli -- hanggang sa makalipad sila -- hanggang sa makalipad kang muli. At buhat sa ereng pinagtambayan, buhat sa ereng pinagkatakutan mo'y, ngayo'y makakaya mo na. Kahit na sabi mo'y naputulan ka na ng pakpak; kahit pa sabi mo'y hindi ka na muling makalilipad pa. Mali, mali ang paniniwala **** yan pagkat --

R-aragasa ang pagpapala't ibubuhos Kong ganap ang Sarili Ko sayo. Ayokong iniisip **** hindi mo na kaya ang buhay; ayokong mawalan ka ng pag-asa dahil lang umasa ka sa maling tao o maling mga bagay o mga sitwasyon. Sabi mo pa nga, wala nang saysay ang buhay mo. Sabi mo nga, hindi mo na kaya. Oo --

S-asabayan Kita -- sasabayan, hindi lamang sa pag-abot ng mga pangarap mo. At sa bawat lubak na madarapa ka, tandaan **** narito Ako't aagapay sayo, kahit ilang beses ka pang matisod sa pagtalikod o pagkatalisod ay handa pa rin Akong saluhin ka -- sasaluhin at payayabungin.

T-atayo Ako sa harap mo at Ako ang magsisilbing harang sa bawat balang ikaw ang puntirya. Manatili ka lang -- manatili nang may buong pananampalataya at Ako -- Ako ang gagawa ng mga bagay na imposible sa paningin mo -- mga bagay na mistulang imahinasyon mo lang; mga bagay na binaon mo na sa limot pagkat huminto ka, huminto ka dahil napagod ka. Pero tapos na, tapos na ang panahon ng kapaguran. At ngayo'y --

U-nti-unti **** mararamdamang kusa na ang pagyapak mo kasama Ako. Na kaya mo na pala, na nakahawak ka na rin sa mga kamay Ko; na hindi ka na bibitaw pa. Pagkat, kailanma'y hinding-hindi Kita binitawan. Oo, hindi Kita hinila noon pagkat ayokong napipilitan ka pero matagal na -- matagal na akong nakahawak sayo; hindi mo lang napapansin o hindi mo Ako nagagawang tingnan.

W-ag kang mag-alala't alam ko ang kapasidad mo - kung kailan mo kaya at kung kailan hindi. Alam kong minsan mahina ka, pero maging mahinahon ka.

Y-ayakapin Kita, Anak; at kung iiyak kang muli, pwede bang sa mga bisig Ko na lang? Ikaw ang tanging Yaman ko't alay Ko sayo ang lahat. Mahal Kita, at ito'y walang hanggan.

---
Ngayon, magtatapos Ako
Magtatapos ako kahit na sarado pa ang puso mo
Kahit na may iba ka pang mahal sa ngayon
Kahit tila naririndi ka na sa pagkatok Ko
Kahit pa pinagsasarudahan mo Ako
Kahit pa ayaw mo pa Akong tanggapin
Kahit pa sabi mo'y hindi ka pa handa
Kahit pa sambit mo'y sa susunod na lang
O kahit pa sigaw mo'y tumigil na Ako
Pero hindi, ayokong magtapos ng ganito.
Magtatapos Ako't maghihintay sa sagot mo
At sana, sana'y dugtungan mo ang liham ng paanyaya
Dalawang letrang magkatulad lang
Dalawang letra lang ay sapat na
At ito -- ito na marahil ang pagtatapos
Na Ikaw ang Simula.

I am not a sparrow
whose wings flap in perfect form,
whose voice is pure, delicate and soft,
who sings rondeaux to the shining morning.

I’m no nightingale either,
who guides through ink-soaked nights,
who warbles a mourning lay to the shadows,
who beckons with a bone-white feather draped over hollow nerves.

In fact, I cannot fly at all.
There’s always been this crippling
fear of falling, failing, drowning, etc.,
that’s kept me firmly on solid ground.

I am not grace,
that ease my mother named me for,
that Princess my dad always assumed she’d meant
that prayer whispered by hungry throats on Christmas Day.

I think I’m closer to an ostrich—
tripping, dancing on legs too spindly
to balance the feathered majesty
above, dashing farcically from lions.

But not quite.
I am not quite Me.
She would be a sledgehammer, indestructible.
She would have a voice that rang like steel falling heavy on iron.

And She would be painted yellow—
like a finch, or a canary.

i went to a nudist camp to see what it was likethere i saw some people riding naked on a bikei started to undress but told myself i could;ntthen i saw some parts that i know i should;nti was so embarrassed i was turning redso i went behind a tree so i could hide my headi decided to go home this place was not for mei had just been somewhere where i should;nt be.next time i get naked i will start to  laughthe only time ill go **** is when im in my bath.

a medieval blacksmith, insO̲—
—much as lyrical material of mine gets cast sim. to cold
weapons; I'd say, as anything mind-distracting, like dope
["destructing"]
lyric-writing acts in the role
of temp rise, 'cause it unshadows the mind
like da[ɛ]mn skies, dissipating clouds of lack of delight
which is whY̲ I clepe
it as "mind eclipse" (lack of the light)
hence all the grimness seen in mY̲ bar sheets (chernukha)
like someone having a flight, a bored, tragedy wight
["aboard"]
lashings of spite I add in my lines
a geek practicing harassment in rhymes
as a pastime; an antihero, like Frank Castle I side
with on going against baddies with vice (lesser evil)
'cause you can't battle a knight
or a savage canine, or seize a bastion by
means of any kind of chatting (good luck managing that, gandhists)
get real; chances of collapsing
a toughened up corrupt regime by tranquil, brawl-free rallies
are as high as a bA̲nged up substance addict
can be (highly unlikely); though I keep the anti-autocratic
subject matter frontline, for ones who half-a##edly indite
their lyrics, it's casket likewise; a wA̲ck sod with pine
boxes & nails for 'em; & thA̲t's something I'm
more than glad to provide
you with; tra[ɛ]nslation: you ain't sA̲fe, chumps
[a casket isn't a safe, hence "it's casket" means "it isn't/ain't safe"]
like an offer to have a sled ride
"dude, let's slay some"
["sleigh"]
said the voice of the Islamist radical-like rapper in my
bean (Shady); "let's bring a da[ɛ]ng mayhem"
["bin Shady": Osama bin Laden + Slim Shady, who's a lyrical terrorist]
it added with passion, then I'm
like: "sounds like a blast of a time" (kaboom)
but no[ɑ]t to you, be—cause I'm on my violent bullsh#t (again)
like a jihadi loony; with these lines I'm suited
up with, you'll be blasted like plants bY̲ a shrE̲wd wind
or like a head of state ordained to invade
a neighboring state
in this **** field, I feel
like Max Payne with a gauge
[shotgun]
in a prey-tE̲E̲ming weald
hunting as sport; slay just to main—
—tain some relish & killing skills
you're like misbehavior-free slaves
in this field; translation: you're tame (lyrically)
["tranSLAYtion"]
therefore, you're unwished-for
like anyone & anything with a high lack of approval
[by "high lack of approval" I mean "dissent"]
on politics of the regime of some dastardly ruler (dastardly ruler)
drunk by the power he keeps a tight grA̲sp on & moola (power & moola)
just like Vlad the mean puta (Vlad the mean puta)
code name's lavato[—]ry shooter (lavatory shooter)
you jacklegs remind
me of simple cases or the Batman that time
when he wound up with his bA̲ck damaged by
Bane, 'cause I get you cracked with no strife
just like trash, you would wi[aɪ]nd
up in the dumps if you set your crap next to mine
and let ones being into rap scrutinize
your level of lyrical threat's to splatter a high—
—ball glass or stuff like
that, punks; me? like an armor-clA̲d man, a night—
["knight"]
—mare; Dante strapped with a scythe
[Dante from the "Devil May Cry" video game series]
the way I whack, it's so tight
that I have my device playing some phA̲t beats as I
masterly slice you hacks into stripes
like the Senyera; rap di̲letta[ɑ]nti
and political oppressors are picked as targets
and I may be read as a vigila[ɑ]nte
'cause I go after you like
V; like 2 sawbones having a fight with their scalpel-like knives
[I go after the aforementiond figures in my lyrics]
["after U [which is followed by V]"; V from "V for Vendetta"]
a pa[ɛ]radox while A̲t it 'cause I go autocratic, despite
["pair of docs"]
the views thA̲t I stick by; other words, I kick A̲## as if I
were dealing a jA̲cka## foot strikes
[I'm against unjustified maltreatment of animals, that sentence is just for wordplay]
a rebel thinker with a wrA̲pped up in rhymes
sick, hazardous mind bringing lyrical disasters & crimes
oh, there's one I'm imagining right
now; a rap-writing dabbler, besides an autocratic *****, wi[aɪ]nds
up inside a hearse
with me being A̲t the wheel like
a town that's rife in terms
of poison-pushing; a psychopA̲th when I drive
["atterville"; "****** path"]
speed up to 150 miles per
hour on a track in Alpine
heights, pound a go[ɑ]ddamn curb
barrier breaching it & sending the wagon in flight
open out the driver door
and jump out with a 'chute backpA̲ck on my spine (bye-f#cking-bye!)
watching the car go down, just like a war
criminal busted, & whereafter burst, like
brain arteries of a nazissistic scoundrel; like reports
saying an autocratic piece of trash nullifies
the limit of his presiding terms
I'm bA̲d news when I'm
on my lyric-writing horse
[the "high horse" expression]
like cavalry; I'd like a dastardly, vice-ridden autocrat to reply
["riding horse"]
with lyrics to any of the crA̲p I've devised
in opposition to authoritarianism
should I send some to the office with galore of rE̲A̲r-licking minions
of that "it's all the nasty West" guy
or that's suicide?

I write sometimes li̲ke I'm out for
blood (I kind of have been & am)
like vampires; tha[ɑ]t's for
all the injustice & violence absorbed
[video games, films, (& later) rap & politics-related stuff]
from this unjust & f#cked world
you may think I'm a kettle boiling, 'cause
writing rhymed texts & going hos—
—tile in 'em is a way to blow steam off
besI̲des that, I'm bored
like a plank that I̲ would, o[ʌ]f course
["board"]
not mind watching a ****** dumb war—
—mongering, power-drunk ****
walk off into the waters galore of hungry cro[ɑ]cs or
sharks, though I̲ would o[ɑ]pt for something much worse
if punishing power-corrupted schmucks were
up to mO̲I̲ with my warped
mind; like a drama queen, or a jihadist fiend
at a public spot with **̲[ɑ]stile in—
—tentions & a bomb, or a gun on him
I'd make such a scene
["sin"]
one tor—mentors would love to observe
one worth grabbing some ****** po[ɑ]pcorn
[like the one portrayed in "punishment of an autocrat"]
****** alert; the villainous fiend
inside wants to join this lyrical binge
give 'em *******, dude
————————————————————————————————
listen U̲p, you da[ɛ]mn fool
this message is also for the trap rap playschool
that you pU̲nk pertain to
consider yourself LIA 'cA̲U̲se you're plain doomed
[lost in action]
like an aircrA̲ft which is about
to crA̲sh into the ground (plane, doomed)
call thI̲s sh#t maltreatment
'cause, like a wicked professor prone
to domineering, I'ma teach you a lesson, ***
["molltreatment"]
'cause in this lyric-writing game, you
are just a lame stewd'
[stu(ew)dent]
you better find some da[ɛ]mn tools
the screws of mine are cray loose
just like Deadpool's; memorize this name to
call me by: Slay Illsome
[Deadpool's real name is Wade Wilson]
you're like pup: so ****** tame you
should be called Lame Chillsome
["po[ɑ]p", in the sense of "pop music"]
so inept that holding somebO̲[ɑ]dy's dra[ɛ]nk, you'd
prob'ly wind up with the dra[ɛ]nk spilled, chump
I'm an instiller of awe & distaste
a thrill killer, nuts, A̲lthough well-trained
and I really love to slay noobs
I'll be enjoying some thrilling, high-octane tunes
while you'll be stricken by the grave blues
'cause I'll have you feeling such a pain you
are gon' wish it were Max 'stead of me & start to pray to
["Payne"; Max Payne, who mostly just guns down his targets]
me to put you down like I̲'m the type slinging
off at others; I'll I̲ce you by swinging
my mo'f#cking blade through
your neck like a batter, whereA̲fter I[ɑ]'ll pick
up your nut & make use
of it as a **** bA̲sketball, *****
I'll chop you in parts, then bo[ɑ]x 'em, like a way to
verbally tag an attrA̲ctive gal with
a set of plumply-shaped *****
["buxom"]
I'll have the box wrapped a la gifts
and then get the remainders of you sE̲nt ta
a replantation-focused center
(so much for something with the littlest of spite...)
————————————————————————————————
like a substance a[ɑ]ddict
tryna quit but quickly sliding ba[ɑ]ckwards
one verse & I'm back to mY̲ bad ha[ɑ]bits
[the prelude]
of writing; life-lethargic, bU̲t this art form
is something I sure have go[ɑ]t a lust for
which explains why
I'm sO̲ de—voted to my stuff when it's getting laid, like
a carnal co[ɑ]mmerce; lyrical self-indulgence, much more
than self-indulgent "I̲'ve got" type twerps
making unco[ɑ]mplicated trap
as if there were something like a cavy that
those diletta[ɑ]nti aim to catch
like someO̲ne depraved, I have (what?)
a ba[ɑ]wdy-like urge in my mI̲nd when I verse
like a tI̲ght-fit guise worn by a gal with nice curves
exercising, intention... of nailing rhyming
["in tension"]
as if rhymes were lush girls
the type to whom technical seduction comes first
lyrics-wise, which is why some of my works
may be regarded as hot stuff
like a heated iron flyi[—]ng to[—]ward
the face of a tyrant-like ****
with the bo[ɑ]ttom side forth; do this kind of stuff for
fun & to maintain these mI̲nd skills I scored
["slay just to maintain some relish & killing skills"]
which explains why I dub it "bar sport"
[sport/fun of making bars (rhymed lines)]
you trap rap hacks ou[ɑ]ght to ha[ɑ]ve your
bars shA̲rp just like swords of samurais, for
["sharp" in the sense of "stylish"/"attractive"]
as I̲'ve said afore, I'm O̲U̲t for blood, twerps
————————————————————————————————
struck this "bar sport" writing up short
["bar sport (prelude)" followed by this one]
on hope, wound up with a flood of thou[ɑ]ghts versed (wow)
guess this writer's inner fire's no[ɑ]t burned... out
like someone dO̲ne too much work

****, bruh! call a bo[ɑ]mb squa[ɑ]d
'cause she's a bomb—
—shell, whose rear evokes a somewha[ʌ]t
unholy, wro[ɑ]ng thou[ɑ]ght
reminds him of a jihadi-done job
'cause this ***'s (boom) banging; this honey's dancing
boldly & lewdly, got his ja[ɑ]w dro[ɑ]pped
she's beyo[ɑ]nd "**[ɑ]t"
this gA̲l's freaking blazing
his hand's in offensive motion for her hind part
a haptic invasion
she moves on from wining to fondling, she's eager
like someone punished by dI̲nt of
a guillotine, his head's lost as she seductively strI̲ps her—
—self naked; she says: "make me
high as a rooftO̲[ɑ]p nearly reaching
the sky; give me a tI̲me so exquisite
that I̲'ll be left speechless
when this ro[ɑ]mp's over"
she's none short o'... a mind-blower, like a gun-toter
blowing a brain of a nazissistic hound wrongdoing
————————————————————————————————
she goes O̲U̲t like jU̲I̲ce in
["juice" in the sense of "electricity"; the "out like a light [electricity]" expression]
the wake of their energetic bout of nookie
as against l'heroi d'aquesta nI̲t that ca[ɛ]n't catch
["l'heroi d'aquesta nit" (Catalan) - "the hero of tonight"]
sleep, like a ham-****** skate cast
a pillowcase at; he's still awake af—
["catch slip"]
—ter more than ane half
of a twenty-fourth of day passed
his mind's got diverse thou[ɑ]ghts
going one after another, like a race track
occupied by sport cars
he's a nobo[ɑ]dy who's ended
up having a great tI̲me with a splendid
woman, which he's now lying in bed with
with his existence being nO̲ne but pathetic
he's been, like a person with whom O̲ne isn't ca[ɛ]ndid
in the dark &, processing the world as highly offensive
from a sociopolitical point, wa[ɑ]nting a vengeance
just li̲ke vigila[ɛ]ntes
he's up in arms, due to pieces of vI̲ce-ridden dreck with
their eyes blinded with pelf &
power; a hE̲A̲rt-damaged a[ɛ]nti—
—hero with little avE̲nues to spout the
anger, who seems to have found a
source of light he doesn't wish to be outta
he hopes she won't slyly desert him
the subsequent morning
if she arises before him

Byamwenya binyumila,antambulira kimbejja
Akawato ka nnumba,ensiingo ya biseela,
Amaaso agatunuza ng'agasasila
Njagala mutwale eyo ewala
Tubeele babili naye eyo ewala
Nga tuli just nze naye
Taliiyo asobola okunfananila ye
Kuba byakola bibye yekka
Infact,mweyagaliza nzekka
Owange,tugenda eyo mu nsozi,oba mu biziinga?!!
Honey jjukila nti gw'abasiinga
Njagala onsuubizenga nti toli ndekka
Tolindeka kubaleka baseke
Tobaleka kuseka ng'ondese
Nkwagala nnyo ekyo kyo nja kukyikujjukizanga
Byonkolera ebisiinga binkyamulanga
Ela ku lwekyo,kankube n'omulanga
Abeeyo...!!
Ono omwana bamutwala dda!!
Ela,abaali bagezaako okumukwana,mujjeyo essuubi
Ssi mu bubi
Ono omwana bamuwangula dda
Emabega talidda
Mubeele eyo,eno yemujja

BYAMWENYA BINYUMILA(11/1/2019)