Mac Miller’s death wasn’t an Overdose,
it was a Suicide,
it was the path that he chose that’s the way it goes,
when you’re chewed inside,

when you’ve got those demons,
and even beautiful music doesn’t exercise them,
we all gotta go sooner or later,
so Mac at 26 is tragic but not surprising,

wish he’d held out for one more year,
then he could’ve gotten in the Forever 27 Club,
joined the likes of Hendrix Morrison and Joplin,
but anyways whatever it’s still all love,

even though,
it hurts so bad,
especially since I’m writing this,
to Mac’s Swimming soundtrack,

13 songs on Mac’s last album,
and the last track’s ‘So It Goes’,
and ‘So It Goes’,
is playing on a record in Mac’s final post,

one moment we’re living one moment we get ghost,
and that makes me think of Jaden,
who’s last track was Ghost,
oh God Jaden no don’t start fadin’,

you’re it man,
you’re the one,
please push past the darkness of the pain,
and shine like the All Seeing Sun,

you’re our last hope like Obi-Wan Kenobi,
so don’t shut your eyes Young Jedi,
you’ve got the torch now so let it burn bright,
because the only thing that doesn’t wait is time,

time doesn’t give a fck about clocks,
until they stop,
she puts me together when I’m out of order,
perfect,

gives me the shivers how the Lord deliver’s,
and I don’t even read psalms,
but I swear to God it was all written,
that’s why even in the chaos I’m calm,

nothing’s GO:OD in the AM,
when you’re not feeling The Divine Feminine,
nauseous everyone feels toxic and obnoxious,
you're conscious that the poison feels like medicine,

resurrected just to be dead again,

it’s scary or rather haunting how Mac’s last video,
show’d him trapped in a coffin,
with a message that read Memento Mori,
you might win some but you just lost one,

shout out to Lauryn Hill,
she lost her mind but didn’t lose her life,
see no matter how difficult things get,
you win no matter what as long as you stay alive,

and it hurts so bad that we lost him,
that even I right now feel dead inside,
better take care out there and beware,
Self Care's only effective with friends to stand by,

**** I,
want to find a way to make everything alright,
want to find a way to bring back Mac,
gone forever to that Castle in The Sky,

and I just wish I could’ve said one last word to him,
and it hurts so bad I want to cry,
see Mac Miller’s death wasn’t an Overdose,
it was a Suicide,

so if you’re feeling hurt and depressed,
find someone to get that ****t off your chest,
because you’re loved whether you know it or not,
and life’s to short for long stories or regrets,

life’s too short for long stories,
life’s too real for fake friends,
so know that I love you you can always come see me,
because it’s peace love and respect till the end,

and ****,
we lost a good one today my oh my,
Mac Miller’s death wasn’t an Overdose,
it was a Suicide,

RIP Mac Miller,
may you Rest In Peace on Cloud 9,
may you finally find that love you need,
at that Eternal House in The Sky….

∆ Aaron LaLux ∆

they say in history,
behind every great man there’s an even greater woman.
so think of it like this:
do you know who marcia lucas is?
it’s okay if you don’t.
there’s a reason for that,
until a few months ago i didn’t know her name either.
but you probably know who george lucas is.
biographer dale ******* once said that marcia,
george lucas's first wife who he was married to throughout
the production of the original trilogy,
was his “secret weapon."
and the operative word in that sentence is secret.
because i have been watching star wars
for just about as long as i can remember;
growing up, my brother and i owned not only
half a dozen plastic lightsabers and a box set of both trilogies,
but my dad even likes to mimic yoda’s voice and speech patterns
when he gives me motivational life talks.
but i never once learned marcia lucas's name.
i know star wars super fans who can spout out more trivia
about wedge antilles,
an x-wing pilot with 2.5 total minutes of screen time in the entire saga,
than marcia lucas,
the women who edited the film together
into the cultural phenomenon we know.
marcia lucas is the woman who edited starwars
from a mess into a masterpiece.
the woman who has be described
as the “warmth and heart of the films”
who carved out her husband's characters into people
and developed with much of emotional resolution of the series,
coming up with the idea of killing off ben kenobi
when george lucas couldn’t resolve the plot line himself.
her fingerprints are all over these movies,
she shaped these stories and us with them
yet we never talk about her hands cutting the film.
the woman who edited the scene
where luke skywalker destroys the death star
from a 45 minutes crawl into the fast-paced moment
when the good guys win,
the woman who sewed together
the magic we watched on our screens
is nothing more than a footnote in the credits.
she has been erased from the narrative.
and as i write this poem,
i know that only some of you will never think of this name again.
and if you do it will probably be as trivia,
a fact to spout in a conversation about george lucas
or while you pop in a new hope into the DVD.
but sometimes you have to think about how many people’s lives
end up on the cutting room floor.
they say in history,
behind every great man there’s an even greater woman.
margaret hamilton is the lead software engineer
whose work took apollo 11 to the moon.
do you know her name?
you know the man on the moon but not the woman who put him there.
sybil ludington road twice as far as paul revere
to warn the local militia of the oncoming british attack,
fending off a band of highway robbers as she did.
do you know her name?
long before little richard and chuck berry
were ever even strumming at their guitars,
sister rosetta tharpe was pioneering a genre
with the first album ever labeled as rock’n’roll.
do you know her name?  
rose mccoy wrote the words to the song “i beg of you”
that elvis presley crooned,
along with countless more that other people sang.
do you know her name?
do you know any of their names?
maybe spotlights cast more shadows than they give off light.
we are a culture of people who forget everything out of sight.
they say in history,
behind every great man there’s an even greater woman.
we just... don't know her name,
no one ever bothered to teach us her name.
no one was supposed to.
history is not always about who you remember,
sometimes it is about who you forget.

I have come to succumb to a certain cliché, a cache of questions that so often seem to scuff the dance floor of adultolescents. “Who am I?” of course, a major inquiry but more importantly, “Who do I want to be?” and what am I becoming and when I become it, will it become me or will I not even want it…like a portrait of my mother…tattooed to my ***, her dear old face like some wretched rash (truly I’m not that crass). So I am scared of tomorrow and uncertain of now but everything used to be fine, so allow me to go back just a bit, to when I was, say about… FIVE.

I remember reclining on my grandmother’s couch in Hoboken, New Jersey watching star wars, I believe it was episode FIVE. Her apartment smelt of ***** and rice and beans and that reek of regret that rises from the corpses of broken dreams, and I can still see the light from the T.V. screen illuminating every corner of her living room, from the bookshelf, to the door with the welcome mat--an ironic greeter--to the picture of Jesus perched over the heater smiling down on and blessing the liars and cheaters who so often filled that room with soiled consciences and beaters. So there I was, I was FIVE, and I can clearly recall what I wanted to be, who I wanted to be in that moment: A Jedi! Oh it was a long time ago and it was far, far away, but I can still see the look on my grandmother’s face as I raced through space with my light saber broom beating Sith with a stick, protecting the room from Vader’s invaders making storm trooper stew, my weapon—my whisk; my rivals—my roux; the force—the flames, to boil the brew and the voice of my father at forty FIVE years of age telling me to quit messing around. And I said with a wave of my hand, “No, you quit messing around.” He said, “Why don’t you be a Firefighter?” I said, “no!”  “Why not a football player?” I said, “no!” “Jedi’s can’t marry. Jedi’s get lonely.” I said, “I want to be a Jedi and a Jedi only!” But like fire and fog and old Ben Kenobi, ideas like this must eventually fade.

So I grew to, I’d say about ten years old, that’s FIVE plus FIVE moving on to grade FIVE. Picture, if you will, me—the shortest kid on the little league baseball team, with grand aspirations; huge heaps of vivacity, and a strike zone too small for those poor umpires to see and I knew—I KNEW who I wanted to be: A baseball player! And an actor. A writer, crime fighter—the Jack Bower type who’s always in danger—a **** Tracy with *****; a heterosexual power ranger. Oh and an astronaut chef with a part time job as a rapper who talks about ******* and death and riches and **** holding the mic in my right and my junk in my left a protection of the kids in the crowd who might see my ******* brought about due to... back up dancers. Oh, and the president of the United States as well.

Now let’s jump to fifteen, that’s FIVE plus FIVE plus FIVE, I was a freshman in high school and still a freshman in life. But neither of these were important you see, and I rather gave up on the prospect of “me.” I traded my goals for an xbox which came with a discounted dose of apathy. ‘Cause high school is brimming with a bizarre batch of habits. When forced to attend one must endure or adapt it’s those tactless tactics those impractical practices; each pupil’s polluted with perturbing antics. So for much of that year I stayed home ignoring the mornings who tried to tell me I was alive and forgetting the spinning of the earth in its lonely slow dance to the daily tune of nine to FIVE.

I did outgrow that depressing stage. And now, here I am pushing twenty. That’s FIVE plus FIVE plus FIVE plus…it’s hard to believe but believe it I must. But these fingers that wipe away tears when I cry and fight, call for peace, encourage, deride, make decisions, rock hard, and swat away flies, shake hands, ask questions, and give high FIVES are so ******* familiar. So you see, I have put a great deal of thought into this and I think what I want to be is… FIVE.

Don’t you remember? When wherever you lived was the tip of the world, every rock you found was a glimmering pearl, and every face pointed at you grinned with jealous geniality. When Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, Jesus Christ, and easy money all had proper places in reality. When bunk beds were marvels standing miles from the floor and the little things were the greatest things on earth, and “stupid” was a swear word, each trip was an adventure, and every pocket was a candy cluttered purse. Grass was green not “getting too long to maintain” and skies were blue not “looking like they might bring rain” There was no need to feign a demeanor, there were no chains. You were unbound. And pain was a temporary hiatus from satisfaction…not the other way around. Everyone loved you, whether they loved you or not. No one judged you for your blindingly ignorant smile. You were pancakes and balloons and Saturday morning cartoons and guilt-free, care-free love—you were a child.

I don’t want to go back to that time in my life. I have no desire to swap my mind for comfortable bliss. What I want is to close my eyes for just FIVE seconds and when I open them again, the world will be new.

It's HARD These Days To Fight ... " The Good fight " ... !!!
When So MANY Things Are Kept From ... "Sight" ... !!!!!
    
Laws Now Applied Are Well Defined ... !!!    
If You're Not of A ... " CERTAIN Type " ...    
You're Deemed To .... " INCITE  " .... !!!    
    
If You Speak Your Mind About Social Crimes ...    
UNLESS You're of The ... Government Type ...    
    
The Spread of Lies Is Now Disguised ...    
Behind People Just Like ... " Condoleeza Rice " ...    
    
It's No Surprise ...    
She's Got Her Slice of ...    
Uncle George's... " Apple Pie " ... !!!  
    
Many Have Died ...    
Both Black and White And Asians Alike ...    
In New Orleans And ... Overseas ...    
    
Where They Claim EVERY Night ...    
To FIGHT ... " The Good Fight " ... !!!!!!    
    
This REALLY DOESN'T Seem SO GOOD To Me ... !!!!!?!!!!!!    
    
But As I'm Black Who Cares About That ... !?!?!?!    
    
Double Standards Now Are OH SO Foul ...    
Like Fighting Wars In FOREIGN Towns ...    
While People AT HOME Are Left To Drown ... !!?!!    
    
New Orleans Will Wear THAT CROWN ...    
For Many Years While The Homeless FROWN ...    
    
Now Films Are Making ... " Political Sounds " ...    
    
Just Like ...  "The Road To Guantanomo" ... !!!!!!!!!!  
    
Now That's NO JOKE But What Do You Know  ... ?    
    
The Actors From The Film Had Just Flown Home ...    
From A German Awards Show And Were Greeted By POLICE ... !?!    
At Luton Airport And QUICKLY Placed In CUSTODY ... !!!      
    
They Were Then Held For TWO HOURS .... !!!?!!!    
Their Collars' Felt And Return ... SOURED ... !!!    
    
So Listen Up Folks Here Comes The Quote ... !!!  
    
"Are you going to make more Political Films ?" ...    
    
Was A Question Asked By One Whose Task ...    
Is To Stop Terrorists Who Are ... " Muslims " ... !!!    
    
A Representative of The Group ... " Reprieve " ...    
Whose Work Includes .... " Civil Liberties " ...    
Expressed OUTRAGE And DISBELIEF ... !!!    
She CLEARLY HASN'T Dealt With Many Police ... !!!!!    
    
They Fight ... " The Good Fight " ...    
Pretty Much ... How THEY LIKE ... !!!?!!!  
    
And May Well Try To Say My Rhymes ...    
Are DANGEROUS And Could ... " INCITE " ... ?!?  
    
Well Here's The Key It's ... POETRY ... !!!!!    
About The Ways They ... LIE And CHEAT ... !!!    
    
It's Funny To Me But Now CLEARLY ...    
Whether Film or Play You've Got To Watch The Things You Say ... !!!    
      
But It's Now Okay ...    
To Make Films About ... " Gays " ...    
    
COWBOY Gays ...    
" I say I say what like John Wayne ... !!! "  
    
FUNNY That ...  
Wasn't Always That Way ... !?!    
    
Now They Fight ... " The Good Fight " ... !!!  
Will Police Frisk THEM And Ask Questions ... ?!?!?    
    
"Sir, I think not !"    
    
"No, what's the problem ?    
I'm sure they'd find a use for those BIG TRUNCHEONS !!!    
Males who are gay, could be terrorist men ?"    
    
It's Now ... CLEAR To Me ...  
We've ... NEVER BEEN FREE ... !!!    
    
But Come Now PLEASE ... !!!    
NO Freedom To Speak ... !?!    
Or Talk About The Things We See ... !?!    
    
NOT Free To Protest Whatever Next ... !?!    
    
Now They Want To Give Pills That May Just **** ... !?!    
    
Apparently ... Pills Such As These ...    
Will Help Us Live On ... " TWO Hours Sleep " ... !!!    
    
Now That's CRAZY ... !!!  
There's Said To Be A NEED In Todays' Society ... ?!?    
    
Are They NOT Happy ...    
With ******* Speed And Ecstasy ... ??!??    
    
NO Freedom To Sleep ...    
They Want Walking ZOMBIES ... !!!    
    
Work Til' You DROP What's Going On ... !!! ? !!!    
    
NO Time For Your Kids ...    
NO Time To Conceive ...    
Conception May Become ...    
An ... " E Bay Bid " ... !!!!!    
    
"Internet ***** !!!    
Next Day Delivery !!!    
***** from a Hunk !!!    
Pregnancy Guaranteed !!!"  
    
Don't Know About You ... ?    
But That's NOT FOR ME ... !!!    
    
Can This Possibly Be Our DESTINY ... !?!    
    
My Light Sabre Technique NEEDS A New Regime ... !!!!!    
Where's OB1 Kenobi ... " Beam Me Up Scotty ! " ...  
    
That's ALL A Pipe Dream ...    
But REALITY BITES ... !!!!!!    
    
And It's HARD Nowadays ...    
To FIGHT ...    
    
....  " The Good Fight " ....

what's the difference between
maine **** male cats,
and bloodhound dogs?
minimal, or non-existent: (
colon = i.e.,
much more than the
       mere italic refrain)...
both are clingy, both get
depressed easily,
to be honest, with one inkling
the like of horror movie soundtrack
as if it we're a lullaby and my
hand gesturing caress;
why oh why it was deemed
for me to assert the feline in feline,
rather than feline in woman?
oh well, cats it is...
         sure, i have the bundle of regrets,
then again:
at least, i have some.
damnation: being able to pet a cat,
but likewise unable to "mould" a woman...
crazy cat women, coming your way,
alongside obi wan kenobi's;
grooving in the cave,
with some i.n.x.s. in the background -
   jiggy jiggy orangutan -
the down syndrome kiddo
taking to break-dancing the face.

Fall in line like an admiral, ten hut.
Let’s get to it, follow like an animal, nine mutt.
Shut up and take it, don’t break, unless you ain’t cut.
But it’ll be a mistake to give up, even if you gotta fight in the seventh front.
Like an allied shinobi, gotta use your inner sixth sense and enjoy the hunt.
Roger, five by five, time to take em out for lunch.
Find the high ground like kenobi, don’t try for stunts.
Four sheets to the wind, consuming Captain Crunch.
***** comes in three’s, wonder what demon imma bout to confront.
But I’ll stay second to none, not about to back down to no dunce.
Sometimes fighting is a must.
Gotta be defending those you love and trust.

Only got one shot,
Watch closely or get dropped,
Sneak in and out like solid snake,
Metal gear knowledge best not forsake.

Only got one life,
Hatched lonely, life’s a rooster,
Gotta prepare to get cocked.
Or take out the shooter.
**** or be killed.
Do what you gotta do.

Hurry up maggot,
In a slurry, mopping my failures.
Drop and give me twenty squats.
Bury my emotions, bottling up the pressures.
Plenty of traumas keep me frozen in knots.
Numbing it with oxytocin, pain becoming pleasure.
Withdraw the clip on the terrorists.
In withdrawal discarding things I treasured.
Recovery is futile, for I am where the terror is.
Coming to a home unknown, love should’ve cherished it.
Not empathetic to the rot, I’m infested with.
Became a solid snake, and I got to live with it.

Only got one shot,
Watch closely or get dropped,
Sneak in and out like solid snake,
Metal gear knowledge best not forsake.

Only got one life,
Hatched lonely, life’s a rooster,
Gotta prepare to get cocked.
Or take out the shooter.
**** or be killed.
Do what you gotta do.

It Can't Be Good To Hold The View ...  
That I'm A CROOK Because My Top Has Got A Hood ... !?!  

The Weather Now Can Be Quite FOUL ... !!!
WITHOUT An Umbrella I Could Be DROWNED ... !!!!!  

That's Just A Joke But Listen Folks ...  
Judgements Made On How I Look ...  
In My Opinion ... CAN'T Be Good ... !!!
  
But This In TRUTH Is Where THIS Poem Really Starts ...  
What About The SIX In ... " Northwick Park " ... !?!  
  
A Hospital Where We're Now Aware ...  
Peoples' Lives Are Played With Like MICE .... !!!!!  
  
Now THAT ... CAN'T Be Good ... !!!!!  
And SURE AIN'T ... Nice ... !!!  
  
Some It Seems Have Paid The Price ...
For Taking RISKS With Their Own Life ... !?!  
  
Do You Think That Cash Is Worth ALL THAT ... ?!?  
  
No-One Surely Would Do This For FREE ... ?!?  
NEW Drugs Tried Out ... ON YOUR BODY ... !!!  
Some People Are A ... " CONFUSED Breed " ... ???  
  
I Can Hear It Now ...  
  
"No sympathy, come on Big V !
They're victims of A TRAGEDY !"
  
Well The Price They Pay For Where They Lay ...  
Is Due To Drugs They WILLINGLY Put In Their System ... ?!?
  
Or Is That Simply ... NOT The Case ... !?!
  
Was Anyone FORCED ... ?  
By Someone Holding Up A Gun ... !?!  
I'd Like Answers To These Questions ... !!!  
  
Come On DON'T YOU ... ?!?
  
My Words May Fuel Controversy ...  
But REALLY Should Our Sympathy ...  
Go Out To Those With Families ...  
Who Fall FOUL of ... Drug-Testing Schemes ... ?!?  
  
It's Just Something Worth Pondering ......................................  
  
I'd Rather Have STRONG Relatives ...  
Than Have Someone With Cash That's Sick ... !!!!!  
  
That CAN'T Be Good And That's My View ... !!!  
It May Sound CRUEL ...
But Are These Things People Should Do ... ???!???  
  
Nuclear Testing Chemical testing ... ?  
NEITHER I'm Sure Really Have ...  " Gods' Blessing " ... !?!  
  
Some May Try To Say That I ...  
DON'T Have The Right ...
To Say These Things When Tests SAVE LIVES ... !!!
  
That's TRUE But Where's The Common Sense ... ?  
In Tests That Leave Some CLOSE To DEATH ... !?!  
  
I Know These Words May Well UPSET ...  
But THINK About The Things ... I've Said ...  
  
If You Were Left WITHOUT Someone ...  
Who In Your Heart You ... TRULY LOVED ... !!!!!  
  
Could Cash REPLACE SEEING Their Face ... ???  
  
But ... "What if it helps the human race ?" ...
  
Is What You'll Hear Some People Say ...  
  
If You Call That HELP Then HELP Yourself To Cards Misdealt ...  
By Those Who HOLD ... " Pharmaceutical Wealth " ... !!!!!!!
  
Let Me Ask You THIS Do They Test THEMSELVES ... ?!?  
Why Use Humans If It's For Our Health ... ?!?  
  
CERTAIN Things ... " We Know " ... !!!  
CERTAIN Things ... " We DON'T ... !!!!!
  
Will Humans In The End Be A Breed of CLONES  ... ???  
  
Star Wars SHOWS How That Story Goes ... !!!  
Will OB1 Kenobi Be Our ... ONLY Hope ... !!!?!!!  
  
I Hate To Say This But Maybe So ... ?!?  
  
Scientists And Their Tests Are AGENDA Lead ... !!!  
  
HYPOCRISY SURROUNDS Scientific Schemes ...  
  
They CLAIM Their Aim's To RELIEVE PAINS ... !!!!!  
And Viruses ... of DIFFERENT Strains ... !!!  
  
Okay That's Great ...  
But The Elderly When OLD And GREY ...  
Are Left To DECAY And Now May Face ...  
A Reduction In Those Who'll ... " RESUSCITATE " ... !!!!!  
When ILLNESS HITS Their ... Final Days ...  
  
AREN'T They Part of The Human Race ... !?!?!  
  
People Now REALLY NEED TO BE WISE ... !!!!!  
  
Movies Like ... " The Hills Have Eyes "  
Prove We NEED To ... RECOGNISE ...  
Medical Tests ... or ... Otherwise  
Are RARELY For The Purpose of Saving Lives ... !!!!!!  
  
For Those That HAVE I'm TRULY Glad ... !!!!!!!  
But Some AREN'T Good And That's A FACT ... !!!!!!!  
  
You May Find That You CRASH And BURN ...  
Or ... Like The Film Make A WRONG TURN ... !!!  
  
Try Watching THAT FLICK And You Might Learn ...  
GENETIC Tests Have Probably FILLED A Number of Urns ... !!!!!  
  
NATURAL Selection's What I'm STRESSING ...  
Leave The Medics ... To Their TESTING ... !!!  
  
Let Them PLAY With Their ... " Test Tubes " ...  
Rather Than Play Around With Blood YOU USE ... !!!!!!  
  
THAT May Result In YOUR LOVED Ones ...  
Being On The News With A Box of Tissues ...  
  
Why Would You Choose To Make THAT MOVE ... !?!  
  
..... " REALISTICALLY " .....  
  
" That CAN'T Be Good ! "

The wheel of karma
That half-mad bag lady
The austere, unsmiling mother superior
A mumbling, scarred janitor
Survivor of Auschwitz.
A haunted music teacher
Anonymous holy man
I bring them before my mind's eye
Your personal Obi Wan Kenobi
These old friends of my soul,
Awakening to dance their day
At home in this heart
It's an ugly woods
Infinite shades of neutral.
Contemplative acts
Silences
Poems,
Honor this world
With the eye of love
A feast of being
A walk among bare oaks
The souls own meager feathers

Gypsy

Obi Wan Kenobi
Kenosis to return

England and Japan
My soul within me burns

South Side of Chicago
Bat Signal now for help

Cardinal Cupich for the courage
Miso soup with kelp

                      hope.

Mister Meister Eckhart
A bit of Catholic Zen
Obi Wan Kenobi
But his friends called him Ben

Use the Force, Luke
If not now, then when
Spirited Away
Journeying with Sen