I sat on decaying desks of reflection.
       My homework, write a moment
                                of life that meant the most.


But this is a theory of retrospective
       collections, tattered and loosely fitting.
Writing in faded inks of yesterday.


Everything I'd wrote was a failure,
                    never amassing a page of meaning.
I knew I wasn't a graduate of life.

Mostly a D minus in the accomplishments of what
I could have wrote. But instead I just
                   dodged classes and ended up a failure.

Filled with the fullness of measure
Of Christ, the wholeness of his stature
In grace, endowment and wisdom--
No faliure alibi hast thou to tender
Why you can't glitter in thy kingdom
Calling in life, be it as a preacher,

Sportsman, teacher, trader or musician,
Save you are super fool--a politician
That fritters away the flourishing treasure
Of his country: promising always an elephant
With vain bogus budgets and speech lofty;
But for maze, could only deliver folks an ant.

But here are the effulgent stars: Lo,
Behold *baba Adeboye! see *bishop Oyedepo!
Thy own gift can shine for the entire earth
Also to see, without comparing thine glory
With another's, focusing on the blessed berth
Of heaven, when your labour and life cease.

Failed to save us,
Failed to save you twice,
Failed to see you needed me,
Now I need you.

Failed to save him,
Failed to understand him,
Failed to keep him alive,
Now I miss him.

I seem to fail more than win,
I let things happen and now I see,
Feeling guilty for so much,
Failed to save a life.

-Kathia Mariana Landeros

So life takes it turns
But it always comes back full circle
Being positive threw the bad times is power
Power to control
Power to prosper
Failure is a decision
The minds of many have the ability
To open eyes and open minds
Life's simple why make it hard
Determination
Empathy
And a positive mindset
Life's simple
Confidence
Morals
Goals
That's it
Invert the energy
Focus on yourself
Get a goal
Be empathic give advice
It will help you more than you think
Karma is real make sure yours is good
Things come full circle
The fool rushes in
The wise are methodical
Think be4 you move
Think be4 you act
Think be4 you loose
Failure will come regardless
Don't get discouraged
The best people fail
The best people failed more than most
Failure will ***** smack you into a reality
You once thought didn't exist
Failure is beautiful it's the
The best teacher
The biggest discouraging act
Learn
Fail repeat
You'll never fail the same way twice
There is power in failure

Average hair
Average weight
Average height
Average eyes
Not special, no, not quite.
I am that kid who tries but isnt noticed
I work hard until I can't keep going
But faliure always finds me
Like a mindless machine I fall back
Back where I started
Average
It's funny how I pray to be ill
to for once be different than them
Even though it could **** me.
I starve and I pray,
But is it really okay?
To live this way? Trapped in my mind
Laughing?
At me probably.
Finally
I am satisfied with the mirror
then temptation breaks me
And I'm back where I started
Average.
I dyed my hair pink
All I get is glares.
I want to be special but not like this
Even if it means I won't be happy
I'll do anything to no longer be
Average
Too tall to be cute
Too short to model
I've gotten no where at all,
The more I try the more I fail.
I will always be
Average
Average hair
Average height
Average weight
I want to not be able to remember the last time I ate.
They think I hate them
bit it's myself I despise
This smile is my disguise
I just want to be
Special.

Whenever they see me
Feeling all down
People ask me
That one question,
"Are you okay?"
I say
"Im fine"

F:faliure
I:impossible, insecure
N:negative, not good enough, nothing
E:empty

Once more I erase, white rubber against smudged paper
My mistakes stood no chance in this world
Learned the correct answers but not how to find them
Only Evens and I won't know the score until the grades are up
Just page after page of my faliure
Of my effort and time
Constantly trying to do my best
It's funny how little space the right way takes
Reuseing my mistakes
Fixing what I can

"There's a light in you"
I am told
But i cant see it
I'm me
How could there be a spark in my soul
It was flushed out years ago
By the river
That flows through the unspoken
It goes beyond all thoughts
And it clogs my head when it stops
And it has stopped.
For it has been clogged
Ever since the light beside me left
Left to find a brighter light
To save her from what i gave her
Because darkness is all i am capable of giving
The color red is beyond the Vantablack layer of what ive become
Through the thoughts
The names
Through the faliure
Therefore my heart cannot be percieved as the color red
It blocks all light
And does not reflect
Not even hers
And the annoyance of not being able to unenvelope my soul from the darkness is why she left
Naïvely thought i could deal on my own
Since thats what i had done before
So maybe i could again.
But instead of getting better..
I have started thinking more rapidly and more frequently
"Maybe im better off dead"
Like a lamb on the edge of a cliff
Its just a step
Just an impulse decision to lock away your mind for the purpose of falling from that ledge..
It would save pain
From those who i would only ever and always accidentily give darkness to take with them
Just one second..
Thats all it takes..
To spread my wings and fly
But im tired of trying to fly anymore
Im tired of straining to keep my head above water
Im tired of waiting for a hand
Or a stick
To pull myself out of this with
Ive fallen so many times emotionally
I just want to know what it feels like..
To physically break instead of mentally
To bleed instead of..
think..
Think.
THINK
But it all comes down to that impulse decision
To give up or see the dawn..
But I've given up on the dawn.
Its just been so **** long since i saw even a shade of black lighter than this.
So i guess i know what my choice will be when that time comes along..
Im just so tired of falling without breaking..
So tired of healing..
Tired of being beaten and bruising
Without a single complaint.
Because with every thought
My soul drains..
And once its gone..
It wont anymore be a strain
To take another step.

Never saw me cry they say
Never saw me feel pain they say

I do cry, I do feel  pain, yet
Iam unseen and unknown

I dont wish to pe praised
I dont wish to be loved

All i wish is to be known
All i wish is to be acknowledged

Friends and family surround me , yet
Fear of faliure taunts me

I rather not fall
I rather not feel fragile

If I do, Iam not supported
If i do, Iam not encouraged

Love for present , Hope for future
Lots I need , but dont have any

Lend me a hand
Lend me a heart

Because my hands are full
Broken is my heart

To I am who is weak
The empty one. Hollow yet still harboring life within. I'm holding on to that contradiction. I've shown love never have I seen it's reflection. Something so easy for me has never been an issue, because
I am love. Every ounce of my being is love. Pain changes all whether for better or for worse. Strike,strike and continuously be striked. Is the pattern of the one who loved.

The voice of my soul is on the verge of being burned away, repeating "help!". My soul waits in limbo, In a world beyond the distorted end. Longing to be reunited.
Anticipations are nearing fulfillment, and my hand is on my heart to stop it from crying. My heart trembles at the sadness that will
come. Countless times I've suffered this deep sorrow.
I know all too well what is up ahead. what lies in wait is silent darkness.
This immature heart, it remains forever unchanging and pure. Waiting to be reunited. The time I wait for something that time is no factor should be short. With every passing moment, feels like an eternity. Hope entices me, while faliure greets me.
Unconvinced of truth, I want to
change reality because truth is too cruel. I'm ready to be hurt. Numb to the pain yet still afraid. layers of invisible scars become Unfamiliar memories, bitter memories, shameful memories. Im
Closing my past away from view
In order to keep my heartbeat from stopping. I will continue to keep and hide these sins that remains forever. Why do I want to forget something that which is valuable and important to me? choice seems to be a trap, My soul cries out Repeating “It hurts!” My soul aches as well as my heart. The path I now walk is to search for real hope.
I've come here, and the greatest weapon I have is kindness. If they are separated, I’ll bring them together here with kindness. I'll let that kindness melt my frozen tears.  

To I who is weak no more.
I am love.
Every ounce of my being, is love. Pain changes all whether for better or for worse. Heal,heal and continuously be healed, Is the pattern of the one who loves.