To I am who is weak
The empty one. Hollow yet still harboring life within. I'm holding on to that contradiction. I've shown love never have I seen it's reflection. Something so easy for me has never been an issue, because
I am love. Every ounce of my being is love. Pain changes all whether for better or for worse. Strike,strike and continuously be striked. Is the pattern of the one who loved.

The voice of my soul is on the verge of being burned away, repeating "help!". My soul waits in limbo, In a world beyond the distorted end. Longing to be reunited.
Anticipations are nearing fulfillment, and my hand is on my heart to stop it from crying. My heart trembles at the sadness that will
come. Countless times I've suffered this deep sorrow.
I know all too well what is up ahead. what lies in wait is silent darkness.
This immature heart, it remains forever unchanging and pure. Waiting to be reunited. The time I wait for something that time is no factor should be short. With every passing moment, feels like an eternity. Hope entices me, while faliure greets me.
Unconvinced of truth, I want to
change reality because truth is too cruel. I'm ready to be hurt. Numb to the pain yet still afraid. layers of invisible scars become Unfamiliar memories, bitter memories, shameful memories. Im
Closing my past away from view
In order to keep my heartbeat from stopping. I will continue to keep and hide these sins that remains forever. Why do I want to forget something that which is valuable and important to me? choice seems to be a trap, My soul cries out Repeating “It hurts!” My soul aches as well as my heart. The path I now walk is to search for real hope.
I've come here, and the greatest weapon I have is kindness. If they are separated, I’ll bring them together here with kindness. I'll let that kindness melt my frozen tears.  

To I who is weak no more.
I am love.
Every ounce of my being, is love. Pain changes all whether for better or for worse. Heal,heal and continuously be healed, Is the pattern of the one who loves.

As I listen to this melody. The tune of dancing trees in the wind. I feel the soothing breeze. I hear the words "don't stay" I am ready for my long journey, far away. As I look at the sky, the scenery that surrounds me keeps changing, This wind will carry me away, forever I will be, whatever I can be. I believe I can fly anywhere, I mean everywhere. Like a floating feather in the spring. This wind will carry me.

What will happen when my life ends? Is what I take with me, the core of my sins? Happy memories stained with hurt, loss, and regret. What was gained that I felt, what was kept from me for so long. The will of my heart. Am I really the change I seek? how do I stand up? when the ground has been swept from beneath my feet? This gray line now gravitates towards black, and just as I awake for another fight. The world is standing feeding hunger from my fears. So I remain sad, and days has come and years have passed. Yet nothing has changed, tomorrow is still empty. How do you look towards the future when your present is filled with pain and suffering? I can't see the light. The past won't remain a memory. If only things were as easy as snapping my fingers and watching the pain that clings to me disappear. I would have no reason  to shed tears. I feel as if there is a voice that tells me I have no place in the world. This voice is very convincing. That you can not adapt. That no one is listening. I feel as if this life is now thoroughly permeated with the spirits of despair and resistance. I want to feel important. I want the will of my heart rescued from the barbarism that surrounds me, the inescapable horror that has tormented me. Is it my will, that I take with me on my final journey? What others have enjoyed destroying. Give it back! my innocence, my emotions, I want it all returned to me. I no longer want to please you or this world.  I don't want to run anymore, I don't want to hide, or die. I don't want to lose. I wont give up, because Life is what I choose.

Love, there is no one to connect with. Im stuck in isolation. I'm waiting patiently, for your return. I have now grown cold and dark. Can you understand my pain? There is unbearable agony in my heart. I'm still consistently warm to others, even though your not here.  I hope you haven't traveled far? We were together for so many years. I have surrendered, though difficult circumstances. too easily, I let you go. Can you forgive me for past differences and strife? love you were such an integral part of my life. something I was willing to protect. I guess it was just a misplaced concept. One that promotes isolation. Im not able to empathise with your long absence. Love, don't you see, how I struggle without you. Why do you tend to be so coy with me? pretending not to care. When I need you, will you be there? I can't find you, I yearn for your return home, but love is gone, love is no more.

These thoughts keep me up at night, the morning, and the middle of the day.  Im a slave. Shackled and caged. I Want to break these chains that keep me confined. Instead of lying, saying I'm fine. So I wait, in the depths of hell, that was created for me, praying to God for what he took, giving water to artificial thirst and devoting my energy to this worthless
 Memory book. I want to burn everything with the breaths of pain and sorrow, and when I do and the future comes completely undone, because im stuck in this pit of solitude, I must ask myself, why am I here?

I am a nice guy. why? I guess the trauma I have endured, made me a bit passive? To much destruction and discord. I live at a distance. Yet I'm still observant
especially of individuals and their ideas. Without being directly involved to understand them, their words are still clear. I won't approach you or become close with you, because I have a prejudice and preconceptions, rationalized by my fear. My family and friends seem to be the only ones, I can trust. However those who I love, have had their own selfish aspirations fueled, by their lust. I put others before myself. Their needs seem to be more important than mine. I come secondary in my own life. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so its vulnerable to attacks. I don't trust those who say they have my back.
I will give everything I have, just to get the one who I love to stay, but its my love that makes them stay away. I'm a very forgiving person, and at times a horrible judge of character. My vision becomes narrow, I only see the good in others. I got taken advantage of, and I went through many hardships, because I have a personality that brings people to me inspiring friendship. If I could, I would no longer like to be, the nice guy. They say don't change! remain the nice guy why?