This mask that has forever covered me has fallen.
Leaving the real person underneath exposed.
Who have seen him have run the other way.
They are surprised and afraid at the same time.
Even me, surprised at who was laying dormit.
Who I really am;
The anger, the rage that lays to be the real me.
I am not sweet or kind anymore;
I'm but a savage beast that has woken from it's hibernation,
Only to find I have and need no one.
This mask has fallen,
and there's no return from that.

Silence!
The field mice have scurried off,
With the last of our sinister seeds
In their spangled, spiteful masquerade
Now the reddest of rivers carry wistful reveries
Out to a cold, callous sea
Tomorrow, the sun may climb once more
But where peace sleeps, war dreams

Coveter!
Dwell within your own spirit,
For these souls have wretched memories
And their willful, wanton deeds
May yet still sunder sons and daughters
From mothers and fathers
Tonight, we stitch our children back together
Because where peace sleeps, war dreams

You tell me you love me
and then we smile.
I know it’s been a while,
but the pain is still here.
Every year I shed another tear.
He told me he loved me,
I don’t quite know what that means.
He told me he loved me,
those words ring in my ears.
You love me? Oh, do you?
Well I feel the same,
but now we’ll never see each other again.
I’m sorry,
I’m sad.
You were my best friend.
I’ll love you forever and always,
Over and over again.

You’d be sixteen, hell ya it’s true.
You’d party it up-
Smoke ****,
Drink *****.
But would you? Or have I mistaken?
I will never know because you were taken
From me.
I will never get to see
what you could have been to me.
You’ll always be fourteen
and not a year older,
or two,
or three…
When people ask me about you,
I just say “Let me be!”
I can’t think of you,
I can’t and I won’t.
You make me cry and mope,
so instead of thinking of you,
I escape and I smoke.
At least for a little bit, you are dormit in my mind,
but when I come down and I start to unwind-
I have come to find
that the smoke in my lungs and the drink in my veins is
never
going to bring you back to me again.
You’re gone forever,
up in heaven, or wherever people like you go,
is where you will stay.
At least I can call you my homie
Forever and always.

*p.s. thank you for never being anything less than you and always loving me for me.

J'ai vu pendant trois jours de haine et de remords
L'eau refléter des feux et charrier des morts
Dans une grande et noble ville.
Le tisserand, par l'ombre et la faim énervé,
De son dernier métier brûlé sur le pavé
Attisait la guerre civile.

Le soldat fratricide égorgeait l'ouvrier ;
L'ouvrier sacrilège, aveugle meurtrier,
Massacrait le soldat son frère ;
Peuple, armée, oubliaient qu'ils sont du même sang ;
Et les sages pensifs disaient en frémissant :
Ô siècle ! ô patrie ! ô misère !

Durant trois nuits la ville, hélas ! ne dormit plus.
Tous luttaient. Le tocsin fut le seul angélus
Qu'eurent ces sinistres aurores.
Les noirs canons, roulant à travers la cité,
Ébranlaient, au-dessus du fleuve ensanglanté,
L'arche sombre des ponts sonores !

Ah ! la nature et Dieu, devant l'humanité,
Même étalant leur grâce avec leur majesté,
N'empêchent pas ces tristes choses !
Car ces événements se passaient, ô destin,
Sur les bords où Lyon à l'horizon lointain
Voit resplendir les Alpes roses.

Le 4 septembre 1841.

Darkened sky
Shy from dormit sleep
Stark intruding flies
Scry fire and flame
Burnt muscle
Broken empire
One glass admires
And opals rain
Where fire is reality
And water is danger
Where fire is lava
And water is a tsunami
Turning the toils of war

Îmi alunecă ochii în gură
Nu mai contează câte ore am dormit.
Mă uit în oglindă și știu că mă-njură,
Zilele dinaintea mea deja au trecut până am clipit.
Și urlă viața după mine:
"Ce-ai făcut cu mine curvo ?"
*** face orice orgoliu cu sine.
"mi-am futut o zi întreagă pentru o amintire redată la viteza disperării turbo"
Vorbesc cu moartea în fiecare seară și îi spun că nu știu ce vreau mai mult ***, viață sau să scap de oboseală.
Îmi spune sexul e o iluzie la fel ca viața
Și oboseala stă doar cât e lăsată.
Ce viață deraiată!
Nu-ți lași ochii să se închidă dacă ai fost prea onestă.
Și dacă dormi, te trezești cu regret cusut în țeastă.
Eu nu răspund
Eu nu vorbesc
Eu nu stau la rând
Eu nu știu să mă feresc
Și totuși încă trăiesc.
Mama a zis că ceața e a lui Bacovia
Eu cred că nu știe nimic despre ea.
Nu așa funcționează lumea.
Tata a zis că mi-am ales soarta
Mi-am negat fericirea și viața
Că mi-am tăiat șansele pentru alta.
Eu mi-am propus să nu mai văd
Să nu mă mai las urmărită
Coruptă de ură, oamenii se lipesc când eu vreau să dispar din orbită.
Vreau să fiu într-adevăr uitată.
Nu-mi permit să fiu iubită
Nu-mi permit alt suflet în purgatoriu.

You may think that your scars are healed, dormit. Well contrary to popular belief they aren't. Scars need constant rejuvenation to stay sealed and keep you from bleeding out. I know this because today my scars opened. The scar you left without another word or another look in my direction. I thought it healed. I heard your ****** name and the stitches I made unfurled. I take out my needle and my thread, and is it pierces my moisturized skin I curse myself for allowing this to happen. I curse your name for breaching my secured mind. The sanity I glued back together shatters at the very sound of your
voice. I thought that I was okay but after all that effort to forget and the red door that holds my memories of you away, away from my consciousness and away from the world, breaks. Like a dam too full or a kidney working to exhaustion. The cut that always bleeds. So ******* and your perfect face. ******* and your soothing voice. ******* and the memories we have. Do I miss you? Would you care? I hate you for what you did and I love you for what you didn't.