My country
a land like no other.
just like my mother
i wouldn't want another

so special to me
in different but in every way
i shall bring forth dignity
not tommorow, but everyday

to developement we shall strive
keeping the momentum alive
we shall qualify,
for everything there to justify.

Sri lanka,
the name that spells my honour,
in the life cirlcle.
Just a small miracle.

i wanna lounge with the cats as a bad boy barkin @ bricks DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO pickin' toe jam strumming guitar but here in my khaki and cubicle that all seems so far

September 5th 2018, Dear Diary i'll say as I start a fresh page
Tap tap goes my finger on my desk
Flick flack goes the pen cap as i tap tap tap
What can I say im lost in thought
How can i feel about everything im just awfully distraught
September 18th 2018, Dear Diary same dance different day
I just want to feel a certain way
Is there any way i can break free?
Of this normal routine
The people here they seem sincere
Only to hurt me in the same exact ways.
September 27th 2018, Dear Diary now im just yelling at the page
Another hard day
Just too much of the same
Someone look my way for even a second
Just for today.
October 5th 2018, Dear Diary it's all just a blur
My head says one thing my heart another
My hands are starting to stutter
My mind is sound but my heart is a flutter
What do i do my life is confusion
Right now I just don't see a solution
October 12th 2018, Dear Diary a new developement on my stage
Theres just a sparkle in the rain
Someone different starting to look my way
I don't know what to say
Just lead with maybe and see if they go away
I just can't do it not right now not with who I am and what my life is about
October 19th 2018, Dear Diary same old same old
An occasional glance in my direction
But I go home to the same mess and imperfection
But you know I just can't let them go
The past is the present and it has kept hold
October 26th 2018, Dear Diary now im just lost
What was there before can be again
But won't history just repeat itself in the end?
The yelling the fighting the screaming the crying
All to just go back to the forgiving and forgetting
But even as this new road seems enticing
How can I bring someone in when my life is this frightening
November 2nd 2018, Dear Diary what do I do
My tears stain this flawless page
My writing choppy and dismayed
To him im nothing but im also everything
But to me hes something but I need there to be nothing
Then theres still this feeling with the new soul I've been discovering
Could there actually be something?
No absolutely not this is something I'm done discussing.
November 8th 2018, Dear Diary this time hes done it
I've had enough I just want to run
Get me away from this evil that be
I don't care who he was but right now all I see
Is this demon that's chasing me
Grab my friends we have to flee
Get me to somewhere where I can be free
Drink till the lines blur and my head stops making the decisions for me
November 3rd 2018 Dear Diary I really think that he loves me
But still I'm me this torn sheet of paper
This indistinct human this imperfect creature
I can't walk down that path not again
I'm filled with fear
"What if he's just like the others"
It was just a fluke just forgive and forget
You know that you belong in this trench
He's not that bad let me just go back to bed
November 11th, 2018, Dear Diary Just keep your head up and look straight forward
Still confused of everything thats behind
I don't want him to hurt
But I don't want him to see
That there are all these dark sides to me
People change
But then again they don't
If I don't take the leap i'll never feel the fall
I guess that's not so bad after all....
November 18th, 2018, Dear Diary, You've always been here
Through confusion and mess
Never been jealous
Never given me a second guess
Who am I filling these pages about
Am I ever going to let all this out?
Just one big split decision
I just don't ever want there to be a collission.
March 14th 2033, Dear Diary, It's been a while since ive written
I broke free of my prison
All it took was just one person
And a few years of them holding my burden.

Path of invisibility
Wretches a far out cry
To torturing means
A journey
Tolerated by little insanity
Secret scrolls unquestionable
To an endless developement
Coating many layers of implementation
Sustain by giants
To diminutive people to exodus
Their captivity
Gesturing
In the fibers of humanity

Not being capable
of imitating a song-thrush
(I know his speckled colours!)
and being in possession of a guitar
that won't or refuses to play itself
I will gladly admit to an arrest,
somewhere, in my developement.

Coming from nobody,
I was but an afraid little boy.

Ambition or desire meant nothing to me,
And like a mouse I hid in my little corner.

Anger and torment embedded,
While lashing out at the weakest things.

In my youth I was an afraid little boy,
But my deepest desire was to express.

When you express your thoughts,
You can free yourself from torment.

With words meld with your purest thoughts,
and exposing yourself help break away from individual personal chain,

Truly those who can look at their weakness,
They can break away from their fears,
And loving one self is the first step in healing.

My empty ambition became thirsty,
And then the emptiness became desire.

I dared ambition to consume me,
And desire to take me with vengence.
No longer that little boy afraid.

See I was never free however,
Because being Korean meant family first,
But if the king was a fool?

What is love?
Better yet what is living?

Is it true vile, greedy, arrogant people live on,
But those innocence is the very first casualty?

I could not be afraid little boy no longer,
I must become a man with his dreams,
And hunger to want everything.

When I moved from Minnesota to Kentucky,
I knew no one, and had any clear vision.

I just knew if I restarted fresh from where I stood, life would open up for my conquest to reach my goals.

So here I stand in my kingdom, with fortress in developement,
For now I am the Lord of my initial dream.