Dear ****,

       ******* and your devilish traps
thanks for making my good days go to crap
thanks for separating me from my mother,
for making me look like a **** up to my brother
thanks for the addiction I have to face
you really did take me to another place
thanks for making me into the person I am
at least you never made me slam
thanks for making me stay up for a week or two
you showed me that I got nothing to lose
thanks for putting shadows in front of my eyes
but if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t have realized my lies
I now put a gat in the side of my lap
cause I can’t even sleep or even take a nap
I’m always moving around , where ever it is you take me
bringing me to my dealers house making me beg on my knees
even if it’s just leftover’s, crumpled up in aluminum foil
Now I pick my arms because I think it begins to boil
I’m known as the black sheep in my family
you made my life a ****** up tragedy
The scars you caused aren’t only visible but mental
Thank god I stopped before I melted my dentals
There’s still a voice in my head telling me not to leave you
but I want to start my actual life, I want to be someone new
I thank you for the **** caused, for the mistakes you made me do
But I’m leaving you now, one last thing, *******.

******* hoodies and stained jeans
rank socks and two day old underwear
get back from work
collapse into the couch
feeling the exhaustion creep up from toes to top
smelling like an ashtray
eyes red from carrying heavy bags
***** the cap on and catch it with the flame
smoke filling it up
raising a fish out of the ocean
three
two
one
mouth pushes down as lungs become acrid
hold it in until you float away
now exhale
the body high
paranoia
giggles
sink deeper into the couch
ride the waves back
until you can see land
then find the message in the bottle
it says
you're not done quite yet
empty clinking
no more thinking
head is reeling
no more feeling
face the ceiling
fall asleep on the sofa
wake up long enough to crawl to bed
at one in the morning
fall into the black brick wall of unconsciousness
alarm clock screams ****** ******
snooze just a little further
brush the dentals
ice cold water washes over a washed up face
climb in the car at seven fifteen
to go make enough money
to do it all again
we stay in this purgatory
waiting to see if we make the list
heaven on hell
without a soul to sell

I guess its just one of those things
Where I'm wrong but i'll never admit it
Trying to swallow my pride but the taste is sour so I just spit it
Like listerine in the sink
Or tequila chased by a lime for a drink
You would always say I need to stop talking before I think
And that if I build a ship out of my promises it would do nothing but sink
So it seems  
You must of made this desicion based off a vision in a dream
To R.I.P these connections so effortlessly at the seams
To walk away for the fifth time because this time you have had enough
Yelling "If you would of acted right I would have stayed"
But sorry to say I'm no Shia Labeouf
And even that ******* has demons too
Yeah he rich and famous but he could still catch a flu
Sorry but not Sorry because its true
I Just like the way I use to feel about you
But thats all in the Books
And there shouldn't have been a first
So there is no chance in hell for any second looks
Not even a Delorean can take us back now
Not even if Doc came back to 2016 for his TLC plates
And became an Uber somehow
But don't feel special
He just needs the money for Marty who ****** up his brain
After those daily trips to the 80's for the hookers and *******
Even though you can get better service and stronger stuff
For around half the price these days
Ironic
Time traveling to the past to escape the present pain  
But I understand
The kid just wanted to hold on to that nostalgic feel
Having *** to some Marvin Gaye
While taking a bump the horizontal way was probably what made it all real
So real it made Marty believe he could fly
7th floor dismount where McFly almost died  
Wow that was a dark type of Cheese
But **** it I said it
I said a lot things and did a lot of things that I regretted
But back to the topic
This isn't no gimmick
This is my true Image
My hair is really Black
My skin is really brown
I may change shades depending on the lighting if you move me around
But that's it
You try to change my whole being into something more profound
You swam my minds uncharted waters and expected not to drown
But Its all good under the hood
Like a k20 with only 20 miles on the dash
And a clean carfax showing an accident free past
I'll be lying if I said I was not going to miss your ignorant ***
But just that *** because I never did like your mental
And I can do with out your dentals
A smile so fake Colgate would ask for credientals
Thats probably why we could never really mix
Like I was water and you were oil
You wanted more and I wanted ...
Still don't know what I wanted or what Im gaining from all this
Imma just stop rhyming and tell you the truth
I might say Hi when I see you but don't get confused
I never thought I could hate so much
until you gave me the reasons to hate you
And yea I lied about the stop rhyming stuff
Just like you did all these years when it came to everything pretty much
You were a smooth talking assassin
A no pulse having quadruple agent
Similar to bond but without the Aston and the accent
But please believe me when I say that I wish on a comet
That nothing but good comes your way
Im being very Honest
And that I hope to be there when it doesn't
Because that would be nice too
To see you on the receiving end would be a refreshing point of view

My mental health is shot to ****
I dream of wealth
cuz I ain’t rich.
I dream of peace
and neck a fifth.
and smoke a spliff.
If you can’t feel my ****
then you can kiss my ***
and **** a ****.
The **** is this?
Depression creepin
over my body
like it is insects.

My mental health is shot to ****
I dream of wealth
cuz I ain’t rich.
I dream of peace
and neck a fifth.
and smoke a spliff.
If you can’t feel my ****
then you can kiss my ***
and **** a ****.
The **** is this?
Depression creepin
over my body
like it is insects.

Been stressed
Ocean blue
like windex.
This is how I
express
the **** that I
can’t confess.
The **** that
make me undress
from outer form.
One man megazord
but these ******
can not see me
like I’m underground
like dinosaurs.
I fight a war
that’s mental
with bare fist
and clinched dentals.
This **** is detrimental
and my hearts become resentful
it’s so hard for me
to leave my residential.
On a instrumental
I release
and then I assemble.
The type of ****
that make yo
dome piece tremble.
So *******
yo *****
and the horse
that rode here on.
Oh.  
Or should I say whip?
since we livin in new days.
We all know that
we all new slaves.
We see the blood
on the leaves.
The flies laying
on a baby’s cheek.
The cries from a mother
in a streets
when she weep.
Honestly
I’ve gotten so high
I’m desensitized to pain.
Don’t call me by
government name
because

My mental health is shot to ****
I dream of wealth
cuz I ain’t rich.
I dream of peace
and neck a fifth.
and smoke a spliff.
If you can’t feel my ****
then you can kiss my ***
and **** a ****.
The **** is this?
Depression creepin
over my body
like it is insects.

My mental health is shot to ****
I dream of wealth
cuz I ain’t rich.
I dream of peace
and neck a fifth.
and smoke a spliff.
If you can’t feel my ****
then you can kiss my ***
and **** a ****.
The **** is this?
Depression creepin
over my body
like it is insects.