"deflective" poems
I will stay at peace
with myself this time.
I will be able to stand
myself and you
after a rough day
when I've played
Cinderella on the
porch swing one
too many times
and sang too many
Eliza Doolittle
songs in the
tape player in my head.
I can put them
back on their
shelves, newly dusted
like a fond, old read
when I'm feeling
particularly thick-skinned
and deflective.
Good riddance and
good morning.
Aug 24, 2012
Aug 24, 2012 at 11:05 AM UTC
Schizophrenia
Dark duality
A tigers love
A lambs brutality
Cruel deflective
Defect reflective
False impulsive,
A mirrors love.
Now two are one
Now less is more
The unchaste nun
The faithful *****
Walk crawl run
For more is less
From form to formless
Pain's thrall duress.
Now trap the surge
The ******* urge
The silent watcher
Observe's stillness.
Animus tamed
Released un-maimed
Dis-ease and pain
Shall be no more.
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 1:19 PM UTC
*Log cabins are built with raw hardwood
Strong , seasoning , deflective
Chinked with mud to fight -
hard days
Shining Oak later becoming yellowed , weathered
Filler eventually hardened , cracked
A shell now exposed and abandoned
Secrets made evident
Curtains racked in the breeze
Shelter reengineered , barely standing , bound in sheer memories* ..
Feb 6, 2017
Feb 6, 2017 at 7:57 AM UTC
I smile in the face of madness,
Just to encourage the sadness.
Dancing on a cliff edge,
Where it drops into darkness.
And I hide behind my sleeves,
So that intrusive eyes leave.
Everyone has their sin,
It's just that mine's achieved.
Yet I punch a wall inside my head,
To watch the knuckles bleeding red.
There's in my mind, and what's outside.
So I sit quietly instead,
And spectate the defectives,
Third person perspective.
I see a TV screen with 3D glasses,
Mirrored and deflective.
I try to be witty,
Instead I'm viewed with pity.
It's a look I thought I'd hate,
But instead it's rather pretty,
At least on your face.
With permanent disgrace.
You tried to lend a hand,
But your care was misplaced.
So I dance on alone,
It's the only thing I've known.
And sit upon my throne,
Made of heartache and her gravestone,
And built by late night, missed calls on the phone.
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 12:44 AM UTC
Honey bear worked his way up the ladder ...I was his "hole" ..The final resting place for trash and thoughts better left alone .An alternative to ************ one might say ....A dart board to practice on at the end of a "hard day ." A trophy attached to his right arm stored in a briefcase like pencils and paper . A deflective device for use in corporate mandatory appearances ! A Certificate of Achievement hung over the fireplace ! There was a gardener , pool man , pest control tech and me ! The ********** ! A ***** paid to mingle with the girls at Starbucks , hand out hymn books on Sunday mornings at ten o'clock ...Xanax , Ambien and Vistaril . I've taken all the artificial mood enhancers , anxiety and depression pills ... Eight a.m. ****** Mary's , Gin on the rocks at high noon ! A smile on my face with a spare in my purse , American made , miserable alcoholic live- in Nurse !
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 5:18 PM UTC
I was always told
As if it were praise,
About how strong I am (emotionally).
About how determined I am,
About how much of a fighter I am.
My mother says: "We're all so proud of you, and anyone who isn't is delusional."
But I don't feel so strong anymore.
I don't feel very brave.
I don't feel like a fighter.
All this bravado I put forth for my mother,
And my siblings when they actually speak to me,
Just isn't enough.
I can't do it in front of you,
Because that front I have
Is such ********
I'm vulnerable and scared,
And my confidence only comes out
In deflective smart remarks,
That have a tendency of offending
Most people,
And I'm sure sometimes even you.
I just want to be better.
I just want to be stronger.
But I'm nowhere near better,
And I don't feel very strong.
I only break when I know I'm allowed to.
I have to be stronger than this.
I'm too smart for my own good,
And I have a golden heart
With a rebel yell.
I am better than this.
I am stronger than this.
I'll be okay.
Feb 25, 2017
Feb 25, 2017 at 6:34 PM UTC
When lightning bolts of radiant glow,
as unwavering signs that meet;
Their curious and deflective might,
soon mirrored on sullen streets.
In the tangle of minds' disarray,
this vision of brazen motion;
Travels 'round the wicked sky's intent,
where there lies a massive ocean.
Unhinged and unaware they seek,
to dance upon the tumbling waves;
Grabbing onto life's sheer fantasy,
pretending spirits' flight is saved.
Yet when the hosts of hours return,
in their surprising consequence;
All awaken from a dream-like state,
a mere mirage of happenstance.
Nov 12, 2017
Nov 12, 2017 at 2:53 PM UTC