When I die
I don't care what happens to my body
throw ashes in the air, scatter 'em in East River
bury an urn in Elizabeth New Jersey, B'nai Israel Cemetery
But l want a big funeral
St. Patrick's Cathedral, St. Mark's Church, the largest synagogue in
        Manhattan
First, there's family, brother, nephews, spry aged Edith stepmother
        96, Aunt Honey from old Newark,
Doctor Joel, cousin Mindy, brother Gene one eyed one ear'd, sister-
        in-law blonde Connie, five nephews, stepbrothers & sisters
        their grandchildren,
companion Peter Orlovsky, caretakers Rosenthal & Hale, Bill Morgan--
Next, teacher Trungpa Vajracharya's ghost mind, Gelek Rinpoche,
        there Sakyong Mipham, Dalai Lama alert, chance visiting
        America, Satchitananda Swami
Shivananda, Dehorahava Baba, Karmapa XVI, Dudjom Rinpoche,
        Katagiri & Suzuki Roshi's phantoms
Baker, Whalen, Daido Loorie, Qwong, Frail White-haired Kapleau
        Roshis, Lama Tarchen --
Then, most important, lovers over half-century
Dozens, a hundred, more, older fellows bald & rich
young boys met naked recently in bed, crowds surprised to see each
        other, innumerable, intimate, exchanging memories
"He taught me to meditate, now I'm an old veteran of the thousand
        day retreat --"
"I played music on subway platforms, I'm straight but loved him he
        loved me"
"I felt more love from him at 19 than ever from anyone"
"We'd lie under covers gossip, read my poetry, hug & kiss belly to belly
        arms round each other"
"I'd always get into his bed with underwear on & by morning my
        skivvies would be on the floor"
"Japanese, always wanted take it up my *** with a master"
"We'd talk all night about Kerouac & Cassady sit Buddhalike then
        sleep in his captain's bed."
"He seemed to need so much affection, a shame not to make him happy"
"I was lonely never in bed **** with anyone before, he was so gentle my
        stomach
shuddered when he traced his finger along my abdomen ****** to hips-- "
"All I did was lay back eyes closed, he'd bring me to come with mouth
        & fingers along my waist"
"He gave great head"
So there be gossip from loves of 1948, ghost of Neal Cassady commin-
        gling with flesh and youthful blood of 1997
and surprise -- "You too? But I thought you were straight!"
"I am but Ginsberg an exception, for some reason he pleased me."
"I forgot whether I was straight gay queer or funny, was myself, tender
        and affectionate to be kissed on the top of my head,
my forehead throat heart & solar plexus, mid-belly. on my *****,
        tickled with his tongue my behind"
"I loved the way he'd recite 'But at my back allways hear/ time's winged
        chariot hurrying near,' heads together, eye to eye, on a
        pillow --"
Among lovers one handsome youth straggling the rear
"I studied his poetry class, 17 year-old kid, ran some errands to his
        walk-up flat,
seduced me didn't want to, made me come, went home, never saw him
        again never wanted to... "
"He couldn't get it up but loved me," "A clean old man." "He made
        sure I came first"
This the crowd most surprised proud at ceremonial place of honor--
Then poets & musicians -- college boys' grunge bands -- age-old rock
        star Beatles, faithful guitar accompanists, gay classical con-
        ductors, unknown high Jazz music composers, funky trum-
        peters, bowed bass & french horn black geniuses, folksinger
        fiddlers with dobro tamborine harmonica mandolin auto-
        harp pennywhistles & kazoos
Next, artist Italian romantic realists schooled in mystic 60's India,
        Late fauve Tuscan painter-poets, Classic draftsman *****-
        chusets surreal jackanapes with continental wives, poverty
        sketchbook gesso oil watercolor masters from American
        provinces
Then highschool teachers, lonely Irish librarians, delicate biblio-
        philes, *** liberation troops nay armies, ladies of either ***
"I met him dozens of times he never remembered my name I loved
        him anyway, true artist"
"Nervous breakdown after menopause, his poetry humor saved me
        from suicide hospitals"
"Charmant, genius with modest manners, washed sink, dishes my
        studio guest a week in Budapest"
Thousands of readers, "Howl changed my life in Libertyville Illinois"
"I saw him read Montclair State Teachers College decided be a poet-- "
"He turned me on, I started with garage rock sang my songs in Kansas
        City"
"Kaddish made me weep for myself & father alive in Nevada City"
"Father Death comforted me when my sister died Boston l982"
"I read what he said in a newsmagazine, blew my mind, realized
        others like me out there"
Deaf & Dumb bards with hand signing quick brilliant gestures
Then Journalists, editors's secretaries, agents, portraitists & photo-
        graphy aficionados, rock critics, cultured laborors, cultural
        historians come to witness the historic funeral
Super-fans, poetasters, aging Beatnicks & Deadheads, autograph-
        hunters, distinguished paparazzi, intelligent gawkers
Everyone knew they were part of 'History" except the deceased
who never knew exactly what was happening even when I was alive

                                                February 22, 1997

Ya wonda why I'm filled with so much passion and rage/
But that's what happ'n when ya lessen a man to a cage/
I haven't even unleashed the darkness/
Imagine a soul that's heartless/
Crowley is weak compared to the I beast/
Within me, 'n He I now release/
It in I and we have begun to feast/
Spit it out
Shut ya impudent mouth n listen/
Time ta quit ya ******' insolent dissin'/
Check me out I'm hookless/
Reckless/
You follow the text n I'm bookless/
Check this/
Determination look me in my Eyes/
Ya gunna stay in tha gutta, ***** *****, just to watch me rise/
RA!/
I am incomparable/
Can't match  me, I'm too lyrical/
I am an assassin/
Breath deep,
I am the heir, with anthrax-in/
How I see it, You nuttin' but fails/
You in a row boat *****, n my ***** got sails/
Ya call me crazy/
Ya vision is hazy/
And ya thinkin is lazy/
What I know would make ya a sage see/
I'm filled with these higher optics/
Shouldn't need a telescope ta spot this/
but you do
What/
Hoss is Down, Livin life like  love/
'N neva givin' a ****/
I Come here to shut ya ta Hell up/
------------Chorus-----------
Duranged/
It's Dark n Strange/
You askin', "What am I"/
Darkness Fire burnin' opaque, I neva Die/
Strange Set by Ra, Look to tha Sky/
Nothin' weirder than I/
So Dark N Strange
I Am, Cryptic Poetic Hark outta Range/
Who is, Dark n Strange/
Ya frightened of tha commin' age/
Ya too tormented by change/
IT'S NOW
Needa label me "I Am" - The Omnipotent is Dark n Strange!

------------------Verse 2--------------------------------
I'm Clinically Fearless... Absolutely scared of none/
You're afraid of my haunted paradox... Defined me Fearsome/
I'm sick of this ****** society/
Living a worthless illusion no reality/
what is it
Mass Individuals stuck in egotistical vanities?/
I am goin' crazy contemplatin' such insanity!/
Can't you see
This is the path of demise for humanity/
You need a hand, so sad/
Refused for me to help you, your bad/
To hear this/
You need to wear a mental harness/
This is the seed of my soul's darkness/
Everybody does share none and lives careless!/
The fruit is hard truth, Ya life is hopeless!/
There's tha gun, here's tha trigger- PULL THIS!/
Should have been Tempus Fugit as We Carpe Diem/
Too late tempers temp-is ****-it Masses parley Global Requiem/
Yeah I know my process is dark & strange/
My mind is warped definitely it is deranged/
After all I Sow & Reap for simple change/
Here is wisdom, which is validated by three/
Blow your ears & gouge your eyes, than you will see/
Divide by none return to your commUnity/
The end of my advice, now reach for DivUnity!

-------Chorus x2-----------
Duranged/
It's Dark n Strange/
You askin', "What am I"/
Darkness Fire burnin' opaque, I neva Die/
Strange Set by Ra, Look to tha Sky/
Nothin' weirder than I/
So Dark N Strange
I Am, Cryptic Poetic Hark outta Range/
Who is, Dark n Strange/
Ya frightened of tha commin' age/
Ya too tormented by change/
IT'S NOW
Needa label me "I Am" - The Omnipotent is Dark n Strange!

Ya wonda why I'm filled with so much passion and rage/
But that's what happ'n when ya lessen a man to a cage/
I haven't even unleashed the darkness/
Imagine a soul that's heartless/
Crowley is weak compared to the I beast/
Within me, 'n He I now release/
It in I and we have begun to feast/
Spit it out
Shut ya impudent mouth n listen/
Time ta quit ya ******' insolent dissin'/
Check me out I'm hookless/
Reckless/
You follow the text n I'm bookless/
Check this/
Determination look me in my Eyes/
Ya gunna stay in tha gutta, ***** *****, just to watch me rise/
RA!/
I am incomparable/
Can't match  me, I'm too lyrical/
I am an assassin/
Breath deep,
I am the heir, with anthrax-in/
How I see it, You nuttin' but fails/
You in a row boat *****, n my ***** got sails/
Ya call me crazy/
Ya vision is hazy/
And ya thinkin is lazy/
What I know would make ya a sage see/
I'm filled with these higher optics/
Shouldn't need a telescope ta spot this/
but you do
What/
Hoss is Down, Livin life like  love/
'N neva givin' a ****/
I Come here to shut ya ta Hell up/
------------Chorus-----------
Duranged/
It's Dark n Strange/
You askin', "What am I"/
Darkness Fire burnin' opaque, I neva Die/
Strange Set by Ra, Look to tha Sky/
Nothin' weirder than I/
So Dark N Strange
I Am, Cryptic Poetic Hark outta Range/
Who is, Dark n Strange/
Ya frightened of tha commin' age/
Ya too tormented by change/
IT'S NOW
Needa label me "I Am" - The Omnipotent is Dark n Strange!

@--\-----

She stood in mama's kitchen
at the table by the door.
Blue plastic roses
their vase broken on the floor.
He said he was leavin'
bought a bottle at the store...
Now daddy's gone
won't be commin' back no more.

(chorus)
Blue plastic roses
put together with some glue
Blue plastic roses
my oh my, how time done flew
Blue plastic roses
no longer bright, no longer new
Blue plastic rose
She's still waiting where they grew


She sits at the table
places set with cheap champagne.
He's not coming over
and she's alone again
Blue plastic roses
their petals cracked and stained
Placed on the TV
the memory remains.

(chorus)

The undertaker paid.
The gravedigger gone.
She left this rotten world
She wasn't all that strong.
Can we reverse the clock?
It just ticks on and on
The damage was too great
no way to right the wrong

Blue plastic roses
set down before her stone
Blue plastic roses
haphazard set upon the loam
Blue plastic roses
hear the wind in the pines groan
Blue plastic rose
now she's really all alone

Now shes really all alone.


SoulSurvivor
(C) 12/21/2015

I was driving to work just the other day

this guy was riding my bumber like I was in his way

he decides to pass but almost clips my car as he cuts me off

he hears my horn and flags the ******* to flip me off

I return the gesture and his tail light burst into bright red

slamming on his breaks and tempting fate what a bone head

I hold down my horn to let him know I am thoroughly ****** and had enough

he motions to pull over to the side of the road, he thinks I won't call his bluff

out of my car first and I can hear his big mouth and it is still runnin'

I won't be showing any mercy this ***** has it commin'

my fist meets his face with a loud smack and the blood begins to flow

a few more punches and he lands face down in the snow

now his ribs and my steel toed work boots are being vigorously introduced

it's amazing how from rude behavior so much hostillity is produced

before I go to get in my car to leave and finish out my day

I lean down and look into his ****** face and blackend eyes and I say

"The next time you decide to be an inconsiderate ******* when you drive, remeber this beating and how lucky you are to still be alive!)

cool, just call me , we are juggling our sanity and the days like paper lanterns on rivers being used as paper weights for a days wages never paid,

and the walking dogs have all their leashes in a knot, but do not fret, I got this thing on a bet and a prayer,

with some help from good friends and one heck of a pinch hitter,
who brings the cows home on the bases loaded and the football bat is all out of whack and did it with a whiffle balled mad  hatter.  

as we are all a tasted disquieted and alarmed silently outloud of the load of horse **** and bravado  of the slightly deranged considerations to any being ******* the dead for their secrets ,

so yeah. But with our werewoof feet , Mohawk eyebrows in the alias mode of method of obfuscation uni-brows and mustaches, cause lets face it, with such stage as to fain the rain of a stain,

we need to rewind the kine and uncage the page of line after line of sweet *** whine, wine and more time blaze all the rage when beards don't do the trick in landing the babe with the need for a tree of good root and a wild spine eyed fool all hillbilly and too schooled in the dark arts of **** knuckling bad ways and stays into a gifted consorted construct while she sigh the not so **** shy, yes dizzy and high, and say, oh ****, who whoulda thought,

,, still I thought you would have been bigger,, like road house in the dancing days of rolling thunder and pouring blames mane all to educate mine eyes and teeth as to what is real to eat and all that is plastic fruit looking all to bitter sweet,  

including all the critters of varied skill, poise and swinging lawn mower blades like, biscuits and mustard, pathfinder style, calculator not needed but ****** is optional, and never forget the nuts that bolt all us fools into a clustered fuckery all betty crocker and country **** legs spread , I can't believe it's not butter said in the voice of Otis Redding ,

Signs of that sweet smile and of **** some body going to get a ******* tonight look in them eyes as they tool away and hint to my silly day and keep me on point like the six tossing a bloodhound a big round steak of shhhh, we are hunting rabbits here,

never mine us six foot white rabbit all werewoofed and donnie darkoed in our get the show on gear, lol, but ****, all that in such awesome packages as the friends and things in my head, all keeping me fueled in the art of war on the undead.

now this my friend is a day in the life of the It Squad, and we hit the **** like you cant quit the **** sqaud, so have a coke and a smile, laugh a while, we got this ****. ;-)  

What, I'm just shakin a spear at a bad bacon boy all francis nancy like... so funk yo skunk up son.

oh, da boy got the lo hold on the roll Soul, ****, son, swing lo sweet chariot, commin for to carry me no mo alone and in a **** good tone with a nice private home to give the good dog a bone.

So, yeah, weak like a good weeks hard glazy nights, all sir and silly, but you cant call me a lil *** ***** with my good hillbilly goofy eyed and swilly, Mooooon Shine on me .

Say love son, Yah to the Jah , Alma. cause you got tha soul sols, and if ya don't get this, then you don't have it. but we workin on that, right?

"I'm Late"
I think these words over more times than i care to count
"I'm Late"
I watch the rain fall in front of my eyes as i try to ignore the chill of the cold night air.
"I'm Late"
Why am i late? What's there to be late about?
"I'm Late"
Why?
"I'm Late"
I don't realize there's a person in front of me until i bump into them
'Excuse me. Sir? Could you please-'
"I'm Late"
He walks right through me as if i didn't exist.
"I'm Late"
'what? Wait! Sir! Wait!'
I chase after him, but my cries fall upon deaf ears
"I'm Late"
I continue chasing him until i come to a scene, a body lays on the road, covered in torn clothing and blood.
"I'm Late"
I slowly watch the Police roll the body over to get a view of the poor victims face.
"I'm Late"
I gasp...
"I'm Late, I'm Late..."
'it's....me.'
"I'm Late"
and know i know why...but now....a new question rises up...
'How?'
"I'm Late"
'I don't care that i'm Late! I want to know how i died!!! How is that me laying there!? It cant be me!'
                                                       *
"You're Late", an Officer says to a middle ages man as he walks up to the scene
"I know, and so is she apparently...How'd it happen? any eye witnesses?"
"None so far. The girl was hit by a car, driver never stopped. She never saw him commin."
"Poor gal."
"I know."
                                                                  *
'A car?'
"I'm Late"
'i got hit by...a...car...'
"I'm Late"
'I...I don't...'
"I'm late, I'm Late"
'i...cant just...i..nononononono...this is just a dream, cmon wake up!'
"I'm Late, I'm Late, I'm Late...I won't make it in time"
'Time for what?'
"Heaven awaits me...and I'm Late".
'H...Heaven?'
"I"M LATE"
'H...Heaven? a..as in God and all that?'
"i'm late...and now i cant enter...."
'w-what?'
  An echoing of a door is heard, and slowly the whole worlds fades away, but before i went i heard something:
"Welcome to Hell child...You're Late."

I lay awake in bed holding my breath
grippin the sheets feeling close to death
Dreamin a world without you will have me feeling helpless and worthless less of a human being.

You make me better
I wish I known you sooner, I woulda never had let you get hurt,
having ya feelings growin in dirt,
like other losers.
on my knees tellin beggers cant be choosers,
on my knees with a promise ring tellin at least my love wont bruise ya.

Cause people took you for granted,
but no longer will you need a fistt,
all will you need is your lips cause ima have your hand in something to be,
future maybe?? Have another baby?
its crazy but thats life, when you pushin up daisy.

Mamita im lazy,
but my heart is not, it stands on two feet while holding its own just like you baby, it wants you as its crown.
So you can be held on top.
On top of my world and on my mind,
cause thats where you are in reality almost all the time.

Pardon my feelings that grow ahead of time, pass the ceilin thats just life on a heart monitor,
always on a thin line, cause you take  my breath away , barly breathin.

So dont mind my-
my sweet Dear, i only fear for for my heart to be taken or mistaken for something its not so I reveal my soul to you, cause thats all i got,
you on my mind alot and i think?
see I cant stop!
I dont know why? Ima hot head , with you in my mind im hot
in the skys like a star that been shot,
and the heat is commin,the hots for you have me burnin,

and im alil concernin i hope im not being played cause then  from this will, you defeat its purpose, and ima be back at square one again,
feeling worthless,
i open my self ahead of time,
so i pull open the close curtains so,
you can see thru my eyes in time you will know for certain,
that i am the realist! but i am not all perfect,
im just ahead of the curve like script cursive.

By: Emmmanuel jv Hernandez
7/6/13

I ran into the heart of darkness as it pumped the night through my veins,
I found the ghost wrapped round' with an envelope skin you slipped between the door and floor,
You wrote my name on his chest,
He called himself Nakedness,
He would haunt me for the next three years living in my shoe box,
He'll grow louder with the dust and the silence,
But the Summer sweat,
The frog and cricket orchestra,
These things are commin' soon,
So I'll drive to places far from here,
Covering myself with wolf clothes to hide my shame,
Because I will surely become the things I run from,
And your eyes will never be my hiding place,

Satan and I on our prowl.
Satan and I cookin' up somethin' foul.
I got lucifier right by my side.
You can't run, no you can't hide.
It's commin' down like hail and rain.
The devil and I are servin' up  sorrow and pain.
There is no refuge. No place you can go.
No. There will be no shelter for you.
No. No. No.


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

yo come home cut the tv on
and what did i see?
another ***** killed by
police brutality
in reality
them whites folks be
trying to dismissed real ****
sayin' "all lives matters?"
how when all i see is my peoples
blood shatter ?
on the pavement
injustices
cuz the system prejudice
only whites see justice
**** it
i roll blackwoods n shaking my head
with a corona in my right hand
clip close to my hip and
ya know im quick to rip **** up
I wish a cop would try to **** me up?
Ill bust till I emptyyy
my whole clip
just like they do to us
Quite dangerous but its a must
aint nothing changed since slavery
real ****** aint in the streets
just a bunch of fools rappin' on beats
i never beat my feet
im too old for that
so i prefer bustin' my gat
and puttin' popos on they back
check my raider hat
pushed backwards with a fat sack
ya know im strollin'.rollin'
through the yellowstone blvd
stay hard
from the streets of tre ward
we stay ready for war
so if ya local authorities
want beef
ill show ya beef
closed casket and a reef
no disrespect though
this just an brutal  honest scenario
how many funerals?
will ****** be in this year
no nation even droppin' tears?
and when we break out the fear
watch how many white folks clear
theyll come out the blue
The news be urgin u put it in a state of
emergency quick urgency
call the national guard
cuz blacks is on the guard
we gone wake up soon
and put amerikkkas in her tomb
Where she belongs
no more babies
just abortions deadening ****
im in love with seeing
dead critcs n politics
in a casket though raised a *******
this game i learned
I got mastered
no heart  from me though
let the rain pour
my lyrics make brains sore
as i bring the reign
guns bust ya know its bloodstains
Itll take at least 2 decades to drain
taka snort of *******
then im dippin' the scene
with an ounce of green n lean
too clean
for this story though
just lettin' ya know how i feel so
just know our time is commin'
like Baghdad I'll be bombin'
silence with violence
check the 100 round drum tommies hummin'
Uh what??

This wasn’t the first time
daddy had asked Mary to come into his room,
but I was so surprised
that she called daddy by his first name
but I didn’t say a word.

That mad look in daddy’s eyes
shone as bright as those sprinkled stars
as he made his way beside the bed.

“Come now darlin’,
don’t make me beg for ya.
I need my wife tonight I can’t help it.”

His breath puffed out
in waves of sour miasmic *****
as he bent down low to kiss Mary on her head.

He stayed there
just seeming to breath in her hair for a moment.
Mary stayed stock still
in the bed rubbing my head
telling me it would alright.
I didn’t know what was happnin’.

“Can’t you see the girls are scared tonight?”
Her voice rattled horasly,
as if she was scared but she lay there firm.

Daddy looked around suddenly
as if tryin to find something lost.

“Where’s Kylie?” he asked
scratchin his head
as if that made him think better.

He peered into the dark,
his eyes squinted
a bit as he tried to see through the dark.

He shook his head
but I sat up and said
“right here daddy.”

I went up to touch his arm but Mary held me back.

“Don’t touch him.” She whispered to me,
then patting me on my arm until I quieted.

“I don’t know Don,” Mary said to him,
“Probably out like usual
lookin’ up at those stars again.
You know how she loves her stars.”

Daddy laughed again
then took Mary’s hand
pullin her up from the bed.

“Come on now Martha.”
He cooed kissin her on her hand.
“You’ve got to leave the girls to sleep on their own.”

Mary tried to resist but daddy only laughed lacing his fingers in hers.

I lay still that night,
Haley held tight on my arm cryin silently.
She was thirteen  
and kept whisperin over and over

that it wasn’t right what he did to her.

“Why are you cryin?” I asked her,
but she only told me to hush and close my eyes.

It must have been about an hour later
when I heard sounds commin from the other room.
The headboard was hitting against the wall
and daddy was grunting while Mary’s voice,
small was whimpering, almost cryin.

Sunday,
Many people go to church.
The Christian goes to school,
Taught love everyone, smile, and be respectful.
The morals begin to show.
And one has to wonder,
How can a Christian receive so much hate,
Based on a religion that focuses on love.
Could be because they make sure their click stays up,
So they can preach on the pulpit.
So they can spread the word of god,
Trying to prove to the skeptics that he ain’t a fraud,
But no, when they try to reach out,
Everyone begins to shout,
Pulls you into shame,
While making your case screech to fame.
And hey,
They say
“pray about it”
But how can you pray when no one wants to talk about it.
A club,
Wanted to start.
Wouldn’t hurt anybody.
They swore,
They wouldn’t preach to any outsiders,
But woah,
Hold up,
You wanna start somethin’ for Christ inside of a school?
No.
So they fight back. Right?
And they were only met with higher hostility.
Met with fluorescent humility.
Coming down to it,
The pressures on
The verdict is commin’
They pray
Oh please god, just this once,
Let us start this one.  
The christains,
The kind ones,
Slandered and shunned,
Cause of their faith.
Taken from schools,
Being faithful is no longer cool,
And wait,
They expect us Christians to take the fall,
Accept it and move on.
They told us to move on again and again
Shouting jesus is dead.
No.
Jesus is the reason we have pushed so hard,
The reason why we can say we have land
From sea to shining sea,
We just want this to work,
To worship,
To praise,
But the majorty of society denies us,
We are forced back into the chapel,
Forced to believe only what we see,
Which is why we need to see
A miracle.

Mountains,
Serene terrain:
Pines, rivers, slabs, snow; a
Giant yells...Avalanche's commin'
So run!

i'm just a fked up gal in a fked up world,
just tryin to get by everyday workin a,
fked up job,
with a fked up boss,
prayin on her knees for a raise,
beggin, 'please please please'
with her fked up boss sayin
'no no no-no-no-oooh~'

i'm just a fked up gal in a fked up world,
tryin to get by everyday livin in a,
fked up society with a fked up sobriety
drinkin away my pain till it's gone,
but boy that aint never enough~

the coppers got me clocked at 102,
racing those lines till i'm seeing,
nuthin but the flashin of the red n the blue,
got me goin on a dui,
cuffed in the back of a cruiser,
while i'm still black in my eye,

i'm just a,
fked up gal,
in a fked up world,
livin live in my stripes,
starin out them bars,
tellin myself every fked up lie,
just to get through another fked up day,
wearin my black and my whites,
eatin my fked up way,
to an early fked up grave,

the guards have got me,
hooked on that fked up ice,
snitchin on the rats,
watchin my every fked up move,
makin sure they aint commin after me,
with fked up shanks and fked up bats,

i'm just a fked up gal in a fked up world,
livin her life doped on fire and gasoline,
prayin the next fked up day,
the fked up inmates with their fked up ways,
takes her fked up life away,

death has got me,
on my knees beggin through my fked up teeth,
hearin my every fked up plea,
'i dont wanna be that fked up gal livin in this fked up world',
smilin away while i'm livin through this fked up hell,
rottin away in that fked up cell,

gimme a chance, gimme a sign, i'll do anything,
(anything),
to see your fked up light,
follow that fked up path,
get away from all the fked up things i did,
just to make another fked up dime,

i was a fked up gal,
livin in a fked up world,
but now i'm not a sinner,
now i'm not a saint,
not that ***** no more,
drinkin my hell away,
fk that **** cuz no more i aint,

i was a,
fked up gal,
in a fked up world,
livin a fked up lie,

but now imma
**** fine gal,
in a **** fine world,
and **** my life,
if i aint livin my best
then i'll sure as **** try.