perfect doesn't matter if you can't love
                          but love doesn't matter
        if it isn't perfect

that's why there's scars where scabs used to be
                                  perfect doesn't matter if you can't hate
hate doesn't matter if it isn't
                                    mindless

nonsense
                                     gone fence
                                                                              con cents

perfect doesn't love if it isn't matter
                             matter isn't perfect if it doesn't
                                              LOVE

one two three four five six seven, eight nine

one who sees your knives picks heaven, hate mine

                                                  I love you like Lasceration

We never talked
Anymore
And when we did
The conversation
                            dripped

Like a dried up
Desert stream

Funny how then he’d seem
Like a tidal wave of talk
Not letting my words walk
Anywhere
Near his extremely important
Ten minute
Explanation
In which he’d sum up that day’s
Cartoons, football matches, car trouble, his hard day of work that ended at lunch
How drunk he got after work, how drunk he was going to get that night
While he fetted without a slight
Thought of me.

So understandably
He was exhausted
And couldn’t
Wouldn’t
Didn’t want to hear

My ten minuets
Of how I missed
The boy who kissed
Me
At a movie theater
Read all my pathetic poetic
Love letters
Told me I was a better
Writer than I thought
Fought for me
Drove across highways for me
Was in love with me truly, madly, deeply
Who told me constantly
That he loved me

When I didn’t believe it
He loved me

When I didn’t want to hear it
He loved me
When I’d just finished crying
He loved me

I miss the boy who never made me feel

Alone

Whose cell phone
Didn’t mind listening to my voice
And given the choice
Would listen to it
All night
Long.

But that boy’s gone.

And I’m left to pick up conversation
With this
Affectionless alien.

I tread along this road, directionless
My compass broken, I can’t tell true North.
More likely South I go, affectionless
And in to time I march along henceforth.
So taking to the mountains in retreat,
I try to run away from things untold
For with no way of knowing when I’ll meet
This future that, until now, can’t unfold
I try to keep presumptions out of thought.
I try to keep my mind at ease and rest…
But if I could have spoilers to the plot
Perhaps these things would motivate the best.
I tread along this road, directionless
My heart and soul I feel are just a mess.

chook chook chook.
The eager devouring and tearing of scissors.
Snapping away existence.

Hooked on the killer music, encouraging loathing, affectionate for what is affectionless.

you have been passionate for a knife.
a lie a disguise
deceptions

sweetly disguised.

so...sweet
your eyes are lamps, tempted into the night.
away from the

light.

the crumbling of the purpose you were made for.

the snapping of your identity.
so eagerly ignored.

snip snip snip
goes the facts of love.
goes the truth that's

smacked right in

your face.

Bald spots laid bare.
for the evil one to be there, to take you away,

to take you there.

to where

your death is every few forevers.
and where suicide is no longer an option.

why was it an option.
the night skies were your dreamt of destination.

A compromise, a quick route.
comfort is what you want, and you find it in

death?

It's not too late.
the hair is cut off but at least you still have a head.

Its not too late.
For you to say

"Lord Jesus, forgive me my sins this very moment."

This very moment
Jesus has forgiven you.

In his  fight-night presence
and
In his affectionless absence.

how often do ich allow myself to sing(en)?
how often do ich allow myself tanz!

nüchtern englisch:
               neckerei spleeing zunge
towing a ****'s tow-tied-double
for...

how often do ich allow myself to sing?
how often do ich allow myself tanz?

let the night come:
let me drink! let me sing! let me dance!
let me conquer the crescent of
the moon hunched
sitting on one leg folded
perched on a windowsill!

let me sing in a tongue i want to sing
in: in a tongue that's teasing
what words mean...
but not, quiet...

e.g.

  ein spielmann sah am wege stehn
die hexe habergeiß,
       es sprach die alte: sauf noch ein!
da wards dem spielmann heiß
ein spielmann sah em wege stehn
die hexe habergeiß,
  es sprech die alte: sauf noch ein!
da wards dem spielmann heiß
      der spielmann fing zu laufen an
    in das wirtshaus toll
da sprach der spielmann: sauf noch ein!
füllt mir die gläser voll!
der spielmann fing zu laufen an
   rennt in das wirtshaus toll
           da sprech der speilmann: sauf noch ein!
füllt mir gläser voll!

even now: a crow pecking...
stone stacked above a stone...
a cloud rumbling: echoes of a mountain...
drifting from the pop scythe of
teasing Buddhism...

alles: wie darlehen wörter:
   no longer teasing, bothersome ol'
buddha brainz...
           from almost not 100 years ago...
toward the old... the kind...
the forgiving dead...
    static murk and auburn wood...

from this Babylonian nurt:
   high cosmopolitan when
seeking affectionless consort...
             my crown, my crow...
i wish to sing but... singing is something
beside rhyme when facing
oriental borrowing...
the haiku...

          "we" have been much gratified by
expanding into the Oriental thought
prodding...
   the Mongol Invasion was
a revisionist step for some of "us"...
i write these words like
they they might be self-explanatory
compliments worth of an extension
of someone who doesn't desire to think...

the certainty of death but the wish
to wake up speaking neither
western slavic or english
is tremor... tremendous...
it tremors tremendously...
i hope for a horse:
i'm working for a horse via
a bicycle...
i have no interest in a car, mawn-beel...
or a mobile...
guzzing carbon shrapnel...
fish & toad... prized assets of coronation
worth of gems in a mythological
crown...

ein kork im die flashe: a cork in the bottle:
trouble with drinking wine
when you don't have a corkscrew
readily available in the house...
even at night: esp. at night...
korkenzieher: ich haben nicht:
ich nicht haben...

perfectly european grammar
not ancient Latin-whip-O...
      i have not...
  i not have...
              jaw-dropping Greek & Hebrew
leveraging: intactness...
they almost seem to whisper:
the volcanos sound the same...
the wind too...
and the same oiling of godly bodyparts
that do no resemble
oracles, phalluses or worship of
pyramids / miracles...

******* gloryhole videos...
and you wonder
at all that ******* missing in
the male parts...
while the woman can entertain
****** arousal: only because of them...
and she doesn't require for there
to be a *******..
bad luck(?) solo project
of the... uncircumcised, lot?

     cork in a bottle... the message
is clear... meandering for Emma...
that hierarchical queen
of... hypergamy: the gnome...
yes the frisky clansman & celt: repose...
ginger's argument...
no...
       walking abortions...
otherwise a posteriori:
the men who do not **** /
reproduce...
like ad nauseam: che guaverra
  t-shirts /
           deja vu... ooh dijon?
must be... a mush-****...
tarts and hu-SH-SH are not
exactly, necessary; are they?

if i'm watching a ***** it's on silent...
otherwise it's primarily
the picturesque sunset and sunrises
of giggling ****... wobbling too but
hardly a pint of milk from
those spandex / latex...
    silicon oozing fakes...

or i'm watching... no... i'm listen to *****
without seeing the images...
it's hardly not confusing but
i do remember...
when the two parallels met...
it was a ****** sort of
a magical adventure-land of
a month's worth of a summer
when...
love was leftover and managed
to be predictably soft... pouch-:
m'ah sacrificial lamb sort of: adventurous...

like golgotha was ever everest...
extend that crucifixion scene
armed with... less a wine soaked
sponge...
and an oxygen canister...
the altar of worship while...
to be honest?
the sacrifice is... mediocre...
concerning those who experienced much more...
plus the public spectacle
so it would have come to so much
less than when
having to... entomb a private torture
for some... shy... psychopath...
but out in the open?!
for all to see?

mediocre adventure...  how i tease!
but what isn't mediocre about
***** and crucifix...
staging orders...
summit of the rats!

of eis... of water... of spiegel...
of eisen...
             of beute...
         this mediocre payload...
this almost too iconic suffering...
some came after...
some must have come prior:
with greater magnitude:
and what... he died in... old age?
levelling the soot
of averages?

was denn?! was denn?!
wenn er wohnte zu sterben alt?!
i'm sleeping in englisch...
i die: i hope to spreschen
nichts, aber: diese!

für liebe von leute...
  ich abscheu haben
    klassisch musik-,
                it's not that there are
"too many notes"...
i just abhor the leverage of expectations...
people's names that become resounding
to a noun ascribed to chair...
congested history...
in a democracy:
in a Bolshevik democracy...
this... riddle... the immortal quest...
i gain a hotter **** than you...
my Robespierre...
     return to: that song...
my Charlemagne...
and all frictions return in amass...
i try i try some more: no!
is what's resounding...

               to hell with man and his...
then i'm doubly crushed with
what became of Copernican via
Darwinism and...
again... tridents are a must...
in the squalors of shadows...
    im das elend auf schatten...
                
i'll be waiting in some,
variation of a line a lineage a...
           same old:
   gleich alt...
                    the king and pauper...
before they...
might reclaim status of king
or... pauper...
the fizzying out the fizzle through
when standing before
the altar of
the "other", "last"...
culprit of gott...
        
death, herr tod...
        the equaliser... the democratic pardoner...
alles werden sterben...
        machen speicher in ein kino...
no?
          
       to speak a bilingual version
of english with no other more troubling
desire as to otherwise cling
to mythological zeppelins!
that must be... a troubling artefact.