Oil on water

Sliding over me
This slippery
Never-ending reality

Grasping at nothing
Downward cascading
Hardly even breathing

Silk on silk

Words die on my lips
Things falling from my fingertips
My world caught in apocalypse

Everything gliding away
With each passing day
Everything fades to grey

i have to keep myself together
for everyone around
i can't let them see my tears
can't make a sad sound

i should be able to open up
but something inside me cringes at the thought
keeping me locked up
tying me up in a knot

i long to break free
of these bonds i have caged myself in
i misplaced the key
sewn shut in my own skin

i need to release this pressure
this sadness needs to escape
find air that is fresher
i can't keep fixing it with tape

i need to rip the bandaid off
**** this fake smile
i don't care how you scoff
i need to be real for a while

let me cry
let me sob
let me die
let me throb

let me break open
split apart at the seams
i feel like i'm choking
on my own unspoken screams

Can't get enough air
Puts a smile on anyway
Skin becomes more fair
With each breath taken away

Don't look too close
You'll see through the cracks
Sadness overdose
Hidden with a mask

Tears held in
Barely holding on
Can't let the demons win
Must survive another dawn

Can't breathe
Getting faint
Too much
Too much
Can't breathe

Can't breathe

Takes the knife
Slices the skin
Maybe now the air can get in

Smiles
A real smile

Covered in blood

A last grin of relief

Maybe now I can breathe

I am a walnut
A hard outer shell

Keeping my secrets within

Few bother to crack me
It takes too much effort
for such an unappetizing morsel

But those who do take the time
Find that once I am open
All of me has been spilled out to them

And I cannot uncrack


But he is a pumpkin
He opens for you

But you have to pull his secrets out of him
Bit by slimy bit
Until you have them laid out on a
table
and still you must sort through his insides
to find who he really is

And when you think you know
There is another secret
That he won't explain

He doesn't want you to know him

i was being carried along
by these waves you call life

i was content,
without any strife

but those waves
turned into chaos

i am thrown to and fro
drowning and lost

hurricanes approach
i'm not ready

i can't fight this battle
can't keep myself steady

i am hurled across the tide
salt burning in every pore

i'm not strong enough
i can't do this anymore

i am a movie soundtrack
in the background

i make you feel things that you never notice
that you'll never even realize

i will whittle myself into your heart
but you'll never know i'm there

i stay folded within the bonds
of your unconscious emotion

you won't remember me
you won't know my tune
or my rhythm

you'll barely know i was there

but my melodies
my undertones
the cadences
that i impressed upon your soul

will forever be in your heart

when i cease to exist in your memory