Your eyes are
gold like my heart
but blue like the sky
and if I could fathom why
they'd be the last thing I'd see
before the world dies.

you are the warmth of the sun
with all the ambition of the moon,

and if you were to leave
the day after forever,
it would be too soon.

i. he is a dancer,
he moves with such grace
he's spent his youth
dancing in front of mirrors,
he knows the way his body moves
as much as he is sure of himself

ii. he is starlight
he has seen the cosmos
and through his smile
he shares the wonders of the world
i could never see for myself

iii. he is a gentleman
he regards everyone sincerely
chivalrous in his beauty,
he walks with kindness
and acts with heart

iv. he is a storyteller
after his past of good and bad,
he is what he says
words stream from his mind
like rain drops on windows
he speaks with purpose
without ever intending to hurt anyone
but only wanting to love

v. he is my lionheart,
he braves the flashing lights
he does not mind being himself
raw and out in the open
he carries his books around
and can be silly without a care

vi. he is a wonder
shining among the chaos of his world,
and even king midas could not
conjure a heart as golden as his.

Call me selfish,
Scream it in my face,
Spraying saliva across my tears.
Accuse me of wanting to fight.

I spread myself too thin,
I ignore my needs
Because I want to care for other people
So badly.

I want to care so much
For everyone.
I want to make them smile,
And I hate making them cry.
I don't relish
Making others feel bad.
And I don't understand
Why others are cruel
It just doesn't make sense.

And I'll rack my brain
And cry over the cruelty
Others exhibit
But it's not worth a thing.

And I'm wanting to make you smile,
Because making other people feel better
Makes me feel better,
And I know that's a selfish reason,
But why not?

I hope I can make you feel better,
Make you laugh or smile,
Because bad things don't last,
They can't.

And my friends always ask me
"You're always here for me,
You always spread yourself so thin,
Who's going to be there for you?"

And I laughed and laughed
My way to the hospital.

And I'm trying so hard
To make others smile,
And some people try so hard
To bring me down.

And you've brought me down.

Call me selfish.

Find me somewhere
Between
What you say
And what you
Mean.

Find me somewhere
Behind
What you see
And what you
Find.

I am found in the darkest
Spaces
Of what you think and what have you
Within good graces.

You are the sunshine,
And I am the grey.
I am the night time,
And you are the day.

And if I gave what light I have,
To bask in yours endlessly,
I would give it up gratefully,
To be yours entirely.

Count each and every breath,
And break yourself trying to keep calm.
Try to figure out what parts of you are good,
And which parts of you are wrong.

Lose me within distractions,
I am but a fraction
Of the result of meaningless actions.
Harsh words and broken promises,
Made without compassion.

I sit alone upon an empty room
I try not to think of what has happened here
nor think on breathless tombs
but the two have felt synonymous at times.
I remember the photos on my walls
those who sat with disgruntled smiles,
cherish-able moments before stars fall
for as soon as nights end, moments fade.
I feel a little out of place between the sheets
it's as though I've been caught in between rocks
as caverns open up to a light I can not see,
but I try to hide it all away in a smile.

I see her photo, lit by lights of my phone
I remind myself of all that I have yet to live
then I realise, I may never have to feel alone
as I glimmer with a tiny star-raising smile.

The dark rooms are still dark,
But I am no more less than alone.