Daddy often tells me to keep my back straight for good posture, so I do. I always look up at the bright, blue sky and smile because life is beautiful.

Daddy yells at me a lot. Whenever I'm near him, I tense up my body and walk away. The sky is somewhat cloudy but I still look up at it every day. I smile because life is beautiful.

Dad won't stop yelling at me, so I try not to leave my room. My shoulders sag when I walk and I sometimes glance up at the cloudy sky. I try to smile because life was beautiful.

Dad hurt me the other day. I don't ever leave my room, not even for meals. My bent over back is always turned away from him. I haven't seen the sky in over a week. I can't smile even though life was beautiful.

My father has pushed me too far. I left the house for the first time in weeks. My back is in pain from hiding from him for so long. The sky is gloomy and filled with black clouds. I lean over the edge of the bridge and cry because life used to be beautiful but I can't remember it, anymore.

I'd let you slice open my veins because I know you'd stitch them up.

it's been an awfully long time...
i'm sitting in the wierdest position on my school bleachers.
i refused to do gym because i feel like **** and i can't stand the way you try to get a glimpse of my bare skin.
if i was dying right in front of you, you'd ask me what was wrong instead of taking care of me.
i love the silence between songs.
i don't write on the lines because i want all of my words to be between them.
when i very sad i only notice it afterwards as i survey all of the damage that has been done.
i haven't stopped shaking and i'm surprised i haven't started an earthquake but these tremors seem to only be native to my planet.
my doctor has managed to fit my entire being onto three pieces of paper.
scares me to death.
constantly i switch the song i'm listening to because i'm trying to feel one thousand things at once.
i'm glad that you met me in the winter because things just go uphill from here so you won't be disappointed.
although i can't say that they won't get worse again in the next winter.
even if you're here,
even though winter is my favourite season,
even though the snow cools down my fevered skin,
even though even though even though it's ******* winter and these ******* pills are supposed to make me ******* happy.

Should they next ask
"How
Can I help"
I may say
"Stop leaving marks on me
And I'll stop
Marking
Myself."

this is the world
and i'm supposed to exist in it
today
and i am not prepared
at all.

My sadness is mediocre
My words are bland
The thoughts I think were thought before me, I don't understand.
I don't understand why I feel the way I do
But that's supposed to be okay because neither do you..
or you,
...or you.

I'm sorry but I don't want to be like you, though.
I don't want to be a piece of the pie.
I want to be the pan that the pie shapes itself after.
I want to be a blade, a shepherd, and an imprint in time.

My hair is curly, brown, with bronze streaks.
My mood is fairly down with sullen words my world sinks.
Her hair was dark, eyes containing broken earth and lullabies.
My love was true, the only thing not mediocre and that isn't a lie.

Let's dance on a table in a diner full of orphans, and try not to be slaves
to our loneliness.
...Do you love me?
Yes.
...Oh, okay.

Sometimes I want to die so ******* badly, it's hilarious.
I can't **** myself in case she comes back. How amazing.
I can't cut myself because I don't want to scar my flesh because if I do
it may decrease my chances of getting her back.
Even my motivation is mediocre, and my tolerance so strong it could be
mistaken as pathetic.

Put me in a silver chair from across the room she'll stare. My love will go nowhere and I swear to God we are eternal. And you and I infinite, and the world is the wind behind our feet as we run into the inaudible where the world is mute and where our love is loud, in and on my lips you trace the words you did imprint and from lightning you strike the lettered indents you did or did not meant. I cannot decide.

My mouth tastes of chocolate milk, 1993, and 1996.

Insomnia stains my eyes. I can't go to sleep because I see you.

That was so mediocre.

I would never undress my mind for you so why did I undress my body