I’ve been sleeping far too much lately and
Letting the days waste away
Watching them fade into one another until
There’s no substance left
And I’ll admit I’m still thinking of you
Despite the years that separate the
Volatile future from the ambient past
Yes, the anger still lurks inside me
But my lonely heart still seeks you, still
Hurts that I’ll never find something like
What we were; you and I could have
Been beautiful in another place or time
I don’t think I forgive you, I don’t think that’s right
That doesn’t keep you off my mind, doesn’t
Stop me from wondering how you are
From checking up on you, out of hate or morbid love
I’ve come to the uncomfortable conclusion that
You’ll be a part of me until I die
That you’re tangled in my being, inextricably and
Curiously I’ve come to accept it
Come to accept what has been but won’t be again
Sometimes I wish I had a better farewell
Something that won’t ache when one of us dies
I wish I could send you this poem for old time’s sake
But I’m not prepared
To ever see you return into my life

I’m just a girl
In all my infinite capacities and
Metamorphosizing intricacies
I read, write, and sing with grace but
My heart is simple and
Love is too easily found

Infatuation bleeds in purples and reds
Inside the aching soul, aching
Bones and joints and body parts that
Yearn for something greater or
Something to warm the soul
So simple and foolish for love.

If I were to fall on the floor and
Shatter like a porcelain plate, would you
Gather all the scattered shards and
Piece me together again?

You built yourself a mirror
Upon bright and tired eyes
That surveyed your reflection
So piously fantasized
So, **** your compositions
Whether praise or diatribe
I won’t covet a kiss from lips
Stained of stolen wine

Yet, despite my anger
I see your face within the lights
Like a painful apparition
Of a past melodic life
I’ll forever hold your damage
In my heart, my love, my strife
Now cut your justifications
And think of me tonight

Even in a ******* town, the trees
Blush with their leaves of red and golden yellow
It creeps up gently every year
Until the sun shies away so early
And the cold day is over so soon

Everything’s quite insignificant when
The world unfolds her loving arms
At this angle of the sun, this pinpoint in shifting time
I feel shadowed by the sun yet
Enlightened by the expansive sky

The last green leaves cling tightly to the trees
But everything else in freefall, barring gravity
Who am I but a drop in the ocean?
Who am I but a kiss to the breeze?
Still, they crinkle in the sunlight

My life may remain meaningless
These days may never know true peace
And we’re so small, splattered against the
Endless background of the earth and the sun
Dwarfed beneath the stretches of indiscriminate sky

I want a love that’s smooth and sweet
Pure and plentiful like
Cold, clear streams emptying into
Brilliant and beautiful bays
The secret to the vitality of life
A pick-me-up, a warm cup of tea

I want a love that swallows me whole
Wraps me in its massive wings
Until I’m safe and sound
Gentle feathers stroke my cheek
To attain the one thing I’ve sought
For years, to feel safety within my soul

I want a love that refuses to die
Even when I’m burnt out like embers
It soars somewhere above
Still filling its lungs with the sweetest oxygen
Alive just as the breeze
As clouds, the air, every beautiful piece of sky