You found your way into my heart,
And I didn't even notice when this did start.

At first it seemed like just a seed,
So small, so young, it seemed nothing to heed.

But in these long yet short, few nights,
It seems you've sprouted into the light.

Your stem is firm and your roots in place,
You won't be leaving, not now I've seen your face.

It seems even you don't know where you're growing,
But I won't tell you now, for fear you might start slowing.

I'm happy about this, having you here,
Despite distance between, you feel so near.

The tone of your skin, and the black of your hair,
And your cute little hands, to match your smile, so fair.

When I looked in your eyes, I thought I might drown,
In the all of the beauty that began to surround.

I'm trying to hold back, to not let my roots grow too,
But at this point, my heart beats only for you.

To see you bloom, now that is one dream,
A scene that won't fade, the light which endlessly gleams.

May the witness to this be only me?
Or am I not who it's meant to be?

Will things always go accordingly?
Or can we rust these chains, and break free?

Could you stay by my side at every moment?
I wished for this although I was hesitant.
Unaware of wether you were always only in my head,
Or made of the earth as I was, molded of soft lead.
Every word you spoke tasted so sweet,
And  created  an everlasting heat.
Your heart was ever so soft as the sand,
If only I could have held your hand.
For then I would have felt the true bliss,
Of knowing it was you whom I'd never miss.
Maybe things were destined this way,
But "Goodbye." was never easy to say.

I'm curling up on my bed,
And cringing in the pain.
I'm pulling up the covers,
But still shivering in the rain.
I'm not one to fight a fight,
And easily left there, slain.
I'm quick to give all up,
And slow with strength to gain.

I hate this pain,
In my chest,
In my throat,
In my stomach,
In my heart,
I hate this pain,
In my head,
And my eyes,
In my arms,
And in my legs,
I hate this pain in my body.
Those bottles full of pills that I choke down,
At all hours of the day,
Aren't working for ****.
Would it be stupid to pull out that herb,
That I've been hiding in my closet,
Or under my bed?
Would it be a bad choice to light it up,
And take a few hits,
Just to relieve this pain?
I feel like I'm about to ***** out my soul!

You were my Nephele,
When all else seemed so unreal,
You were there to set in steel,
Everything you made me feel.

Like each cloud up in the sky,
Your soul resided oh so high,
And when came time to say goodbye,
My heart could not resist to cry.

Yet why "Goodbye" I never said,
I wonder each night, lying in bed,
And even still, inside my head,
I can't make out if now I'm dead.

For if you're here, then here I'll be,
But if you're there, I might soon see,
And if not either, then quite surely,
To another nirvana, we can flee.

Or hold to you, and we will float,
On the wind, like a sky boat,
And past our castle's rain-made moat,
Inside our palace of clouds, remote.

It's hard to say that I still feel,
But once again, it's set in steel,
That all of this that's so surreal,
Came when you were my Nephele.

Love is seeing you in the bottom of my coffee,
It's feeling a cigarette burn into my skin,
It's hearing your voice cracking in the branches of my trees,
It's watching the moon turn red in April and not being able to focus on the stars anymore,
It's staring into my drawers, feeling my fingernails scratching the wood looking for change,
Its licking a lit match,
And finding a golden dollar in your backyard under the sandbox,
It's getting in a car crash at 60 mph on a congested highway and never being able to drive again without thinking about hitting a concrete wall,
It's holding your ******* hand and your cold skin and knowing it has nothing but warmth underneath,
And its wanting to die before I hit thirty.
It's burning, it's certain, and it's haunting.
I'll never be without that.