I want to permeate your mind
figure out what keeps you up at night
I want to sink into your skin
and find the things that keep you burning
I want to pick apart your brain
and understand your reason for living

I thought my curiousity for the soul of another had died
I thought I would never crave to see someone's insides again
But you are different
You are new
You are you and
I want to know every single bit,
please let me through

I saw the devil once,
His eyes changed colour
Greens and blues and golds,
He also had a warm smile
And a loud laugh,
And he told me
He loved me.

Is it my fault
That you cannot
Follow me into
The darkest rooms

Failing to see
The click clacking
Of death tracking
Innocence

Failing to feel
Parallels of pain
Emotions you can’t name

Am I to blame
Because I softened my words
To be heard
Whispered
Instead of yelling
Smiled and joked
Instead of crying

So you kept lying
To yourself
Measuring value
As an integer of wealth
Check marked
Your vacant heart
Filling infinity
With nothing

Is it my fault
Because
I did not argue harder
For the sane way
Did not strain
Enough to say
Please stay
With me
And our shared humanity

Now your boots
Sound of conformity
A terrible drum
Poking me
And I can see
Where this beat
Leads
But you will not
Believe me

So when you reach for
The cold and deadly knife
Stuck in the heart of humanity
To pull it out
And bleed out
When you finally see and agree
Will you blame or forget me

I have spent years
Fighting your fear
Of complexity
And I am tired

Uncertain if my struggle
Has made a difference
Wondering if my existence
Is worth the flesh that made it

I guess I will have to wait and see
And if I find it wasn’t
Well then my folly will be
Trying to believe
In a world where
We can be better human beings

I met a girl with
Lovable nature and  pretty mind,
Smart enough to fool people,
Ambitious character as she is very kind ,
Never will I meet another like her .

Ripped jeans with
Amazing outfit,
**** back off, she is mine,
Better take this wine,
Hand her to me and say goodbye ,
Acrimoniously I made him cry,
Nothing will be possible as they say,
Don’t give up soon ,just give it a try,
Awesomeness of mine ,
Reckoning me to be her husband was fine,
I would declare the poet name with first letter of each and  every line.

they say dont self medicate
but i cant keep living this way
cant take all the anger and hate
drifting around getting lost in the gray.
would a cigarette be a real devastation?
Then theres all forms of self mutilation
i could always drown my uneasiness
with bottle after bottle of 60proof queasiness
theres all sorts of remedies
in prescription form
theyll make you feel happy and ecstatic and warm
or theyll make everything fuzzy and drag you down low
give your head an awful sort of chemical blow
theres so many options
theyll make me feel great
take away the bad feelings
coerce my mood to elevate

A few months I haven't called him

At the beck and call at any hour
And the shortest notice
A dial to him has saved many an emergency

Last night a broken female voice
On the other side of the wire
Mumbled he died on May 13

Left her with three daughters
At forty at short notice

The plumber is dead

Now who would clear
My choked wash basin

The plumber is dead
And I've no other number to call

I couldn't see her face
Gauge the faceless sorrow
At the other side of the wire

The plumber is dead

I must find another
And then rejoice
Forgetting the widow's choked voice