Yesterday, I confessed
One last time
To the guy I once
Imagined my future with
He said no
But nonetheless,
That was the happiest moment
Of my life
I'm finally free
From the aching nights
Of will he want me back
And is he worth it

I miss you
The way you wrapped your tender arms around me
The way you looked at me when I was mad trying to find the answer in my eyes
The cold December nights where we laid cuddled up under blankets
The sunny spring days where we'd fall asleep under the shelter of the dark green trees
The humored voice you'd always use when telling me to not be scared of your mother
The way your eyes would settle on me as if I was the only one there

Im scared
Im shaking
Im trembling
How could I allow you to have so much control
Why are you still here
I want to leave you behind
Yet you lurk like a demon
Always coming when I least expect it
You come through your own accounts
Then move onto alternates as you stalk your prey
When I connect the dots to see that it's you
You leave, but only for a bit
You keep on lurking in the murk
Waiting for the perfect time to strike
Sending your friends to incite fear within me again
And it's working
I'm trembling
I'm shaking
I'm scared

I will never
Regret being your first love
But I will always
Regret not being your last

Please don't fall in love with someone else
That's what i've been wishing since the moment I saw you
But I can't even seem to keep you in love with me
So what right do I have to wish
That you won't fall in love with someone else

Yesterday and today
You got me thinking about you
Your blank glances
Your small comments on my games
Never would've thought of you before
But here we are
I steal glances at you
And you lock eyes with me as I do

In 5 years
No, maybe in 15
Will I be able to live in peace

In a forest far, far away
Lush green trees encasing me
Light brown birds chirping their morning songs
Bunnies with their dirtied fur hopping through the lawn
Fireflies shining their dim, golden light to show the way home

A warm fire cloaking a cottage in heat
A heavenly scent drafting out of the oven
Gentle, loving hands enveloping me from behind
Fluffy kittens peeking out from the woolen blankets
A soft orange glow emitted from the lanterns hanging above
A smile developing at the corners of my careworn lips

I'll be waiting
For this day
To come to me