Where did you go?
I see the sun set.
I can actually see it go down.
The world gets darker.

So many bottles of champagne surround me.
I celebrate nothing.
I lose entire days.
But men that look apocalyptic fill me up
Until I put my ***** clothes back on
And trample back to my den.
Worn, apologetic, and wishing it would all pass.

Glittered nails and crooked teeth.
I think back on my past relationship and laugh.
Who was I?
Who was he?
I can't even remember anymore.
And that's a good thing.

I just want on vacation.
A long week in Florida.
Sun.
Oranges.
Kitsch.

I've said it about every ex
I'll say it again.

We're going to be okay.
It may take time.
But one day we will talk.
We will laugh.
And we will smile.
I wish you all the best.
And I know
Deep down
You do too.

It happened again.

She cries.
She writes.
She feels even worse.
She feels lost.
Like life is meaningless.
Like no one would miss her.

No one cares.
No one notices.
No one will know.

She fills pages and pages.
Not able to stop.
Tears running down her face.

But, eventually she does.
Either her hand hurts or she is too tired.
She doesn't know.
It doesn't matter, shes too tired to keep playing this stupid game.
It keeps happening.
But why?

Is it her fault or theirs?
Who's to blame?

She thinks.
She sits in silence.
She tilts her head up.
She cleans herself up.
She feels empty.
But also doesn't.
She doesn't know what this feeling is.

Acceptance?
Understanding?
Strength?

She doesn't know.
Doesn't care.

She just wants it to be over.
For this to stop happening.

But she knows it won't.
It never will.

But she gets up anyways.
Grabs the papers, files them away.
Never to be looked at again.
Yet never thrown away.

She gets dressed.
Gets ready for her plans made the night before.

She grabs her coat and is about to walk out the door.
But catches a glimpse of herself in the hallway mirror before she leaves.

She fixes her hair, checks her makeup.

You couldn't even tell she had cried an hour ago.

Then she looks at her eyes in the reflection.
And she says to herself,
"You are strong. You are beautiful. You can do this."
She puts on her best smile, looking happy as can be.
Then she walks out the door.

As if nothing ever happened.

We are all not sure about everything in our life
Today might be okay but tomorrow has no assurance
Some will stay and some will go away
You can do what you want, you can be productive, fool, pretty, smart or stay being the same.

Every minute of our life is a matter of reason
Others may use it wisely and willing to catch bullets
Some will let the opportunities to past to prevent aches
Well, that's life! We are living in world with different opinion.

If you are new in this game, try everything that's good for you
If you are afraid, take the risk, who knows?
If you are pressured, take it easy! Stay clam.
If you are exhausted, give your self a break.