Clothes hanger on the floor coated in blood,
It was the culture, the traditions,
Emotions and tears on the face did flood,
Simply based on pure premonition.

A mother's mentality subjugated,
To select between disappearance and remaining.
They claim that existence wasn't ill fated,
But no one choice absolute from mental feigning.

Life is for the taking, prior to taking is life,
This tradition has kept mothers from uncertain strife.

why do you wait until i've fallen
to try to hold me up?
why to you wait until i'm broken
to try to hold me together?
why do you only meet my eyes
when they're swollen and red?
is that when i'm worth noticing,
when my heart is all but dead?

i learned how
to diagnose myself
somewhere
along the way

trauma
dissociation
abuse
depression

so many words
to describe
who i may be

words i don't talk about

i worry about
drowning
in waters
no one can see
but me

I have made a home
for the sadness living inside me
I have fed it with my fears
it has grown strong on my doubts
in return it gave me nothing
instead taking all it could;
my smiles
my strength
my sanity
until I am left barren and empty
a shadow of myself
a crumbling shell of a house
that depression claims as home

You call, I come
- surrendering the fight-

how can one fathom life
so far from your thoughts
as pieces of the sun
- kisses wither in time-
and sieving memories soften
the fall

-you are my demise-
sweet harshness striking in calm
stripping marrows in early dawn
-yet you cannot will my will-

A paper weight holds
down the heart – and all beneath
slowly dies
-petals arched in the sun-

And yet, you call, and I, well I…
just want.

Minty fragrance of the gently
stirring morning breeze
buzzed something in my ears
I have a vague memory that
it carries deeper echoes, than one hears
but what exactly,how to decipher?

Musky scent from a wild orchid wafting
had an intimate thing
to remind me from a day distant
but still melting my heart at times.

Do I hear that sound,
flipping of a slip
while youthful shapely legs
does a spirited jig, spreading verve
making me sit up mesmerized,

The sultry breath of someone
still too real and couldn't erase
from the memory tapes, do I feel
behind my neck sowing goosebumps?
What is this, time travel, I can't believe
from here, I slip in to a time warp, irretrievable.

You never listened much to what she had to say
Don't act surprised now that it's over
Why do we always see the truth when it's much too late
Did you ever really know her

You should have listened to her heart
That if nothing else
Then you would have known
Exactly how she felt

You spent all that time looking into her eyes
And yet can't recall the color
Now you wonder what was on your mind
When you were together

You should have listened to her heart
As the heart will speak the truth
Then you would have known
Exactly what to do

You've been given lessons but have yet to learn
Back to the same old you come morning
Spent all the brownie points you have ever earned
As you were deaf and dumb to any warning

You should have listened to her heart
Perhaps you would not have been set loose
Then you would have known
Exactly what she needed from you