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 Aug 2015 Untold Story
epictails
You can fool the world
Fool those who know
Fool the liars
Fool the judges
Fool the voices
Fool them all
But it ends
*When you have fooled yourself
Anxious for the past few days. I am afraid of almost everything and going outside the house is giving me so much nerves like I'll break into panic attacks again. I have stopped feeling dead inside but sometimes I do get that sinkhole of mess. Couldn't write and it's making me more irritable like I'll write a few words then stop because my brain has become too stupid. Maybe I need support group even if I tolerated this better. Sometimes strangers with the same plight could do things quite unexpected.
 Aug 2015 Untold Story
Alex
with or without you, i'll try to be stronger.
with or without you, i'll try to live longer.
with or without you, i'll try to succeed.

they say to try and try until you succeed.
yet i've tried for so long and i still haven't reached
the goal that i hope i'd get in a blink.

years has passed and i still miss you
i bet you're with someone else now, aren't you?
i hope you're happy
and i hope you feel special.
because you've reached the goal faster than i have.

i love you and i hope you know that.
i miss you and i hope you know that.
i understand you and i hope you know that.
i hope you know that, i still love you.
i still miss you.
and i'll be there for you
every day and every night
til death do us part.
if I wrote you a love song
told you how I truly feel
sang it to you
with me...would you sing along
if I wrote you a love song
put my heart in each note
sang it to the whole world
with me...do you think they would sing along
to my sweet melody
If only my voice could reach that far
even though words could never explain
what my heart feels or what I wish I could say
but baby with me...would you still sing along
if I wrote you a love song
told you how I truly feel
sang it to you
would you stay tonight
and just hold me awhile longer
before we turn out the light
words could never explain
what my heart feels or what I wish I could say
but baby, with me...would you still sing along
would you take me in your arms
and just hold me close awhile longer
no, please don't say goodbye
because If love is real
If love is an emotion
this I feel for you
and if love is an ocean so deep
I am so deep in love with you
If I wrote you a love song
told you how I much I love you
with me...would you sing along
would that change the way you feel
because If love is real and
If love is an emotion
this I feel for you my dear
and if love is an ocean of tears
I am so deep in love with you
I really miss you
Moment by moment, my love on a veil.
I swim an ocean deeper than the heart that I fail.
I breathe with remorse and regret no one I love.
I hope for a god,
and a backbone,
or lack thereof.
 Aug 2015 Untold Story
dan
Untitled
 Aug 2015 Untold Story
dan
wishing for a time machine
hoping to change everything
or maybe just one single thing
like make my life better

wishing for a time machine
ending things wont change a thing
barely holding on is my thing
like giving up for the better
 Aug 2015 Untold Story
Neex
You make it so easy,
For me to cry,
To get hurt.

Yet I've never received,
Any apologies,
As empty as yours.

You put in no effort,
I do,
Now I'm worn out.

I guess it's possible,
*To run out of tears
Is it?
 Aug 2015 Untold Story
Thomas EG
I go to a party.
You ask to come along.
You join us, you make a mess, we leave and then return...
I try to help.
I always try to help.
I have to take you home, in the end.
You apologise profusely, but I deny your apologies.
I am happy to help.
I feel useful, for once.
Comforting friends is one of the few ways in which I manage to feel useful.
You get home safe.
I'm relieved.
But then she saddens...
She tries to laugh it off, as she says that she's not okay.
As soon as I let her know that it's okay to not be okay, she loses it.
I hold her.
I hold her so tightly.
I rub her arm and pull her body closer to mine.
She feels warm, but I can only imagine how cold she is on the inside.
I make an attempt, but I have no clue how to cheer her up.
If I'm honest, I don't think that she needs to be cheered up at all.
She needs to feel this pain.
She is so incredibly strong and I know that she should let herself feel it.
She needs to accept that it's over.
He's gone.
It's terrible, but he's ******* gone.
"It's sore, it's so sore," she tells me, through her sobs...
I pull her closer still.
I won't ever let her feel this hurt again.
I love her.
More and more friends gather around us and they all love her as much as I do.
As much as he should.
That ******* ****.
We cheer her up, temporarily, and she moves back onto the dancefloor.
They all dance and I go for some air.
They tell me that I am a man in their eyes.
I thank them, and I mean it, yet I can't help but feel sort of off...
I cherish their words, of course, but it shouldn't have to be like this.
I need a distraction.
Whether it be blood trickling down my arm, or smoke filling up my lungs, I want to **** it.
I want to **** this dysphoria.
This feeling of being wrong.
I'd love to feel right, for a change.
Why am I such an outcast?
I don't stand out, because no one sees me, but I definitely don't fit in...
I just want to be myself, inside and out, but I don't have the consent to do so.
They should've realised by now that this is what I need.
I need help.
I need more than just beautiful friends and family and alcohol and pain...
I need reassignment, not just reformation.
I need medical help, not just therapeutical.
I need love, not just care.
Love...
True love.
Sure, the thought counts, but I am in need of one ******* gesture.
One in particular.
I need it to be consensual.
You give me consent to kiss you.
I argue.
YOU DON'T WANT ME.
But you swear that you do.
"I don't want you to feel things," you admit, with tears flooding down your face.
Well, neither do I!
But I can't ******* help it.
I should really sleep, but now I need to feel things.
Something.
Anything.
Even if it is just the tears that I'm crying.
At least it's something.
But sometimes nothing is better than something.
I think we both need to remember that.
So forget your apologies.
I apologise.
I can't feel anything anymore...
I just want to feel euphoria.
I wrote this after a party last night. I wasn't in the greatest mood. (Trigger warning: self-harm.)
 Aug 2015 Untold Story
ailemA
Long bus journeys,
Pouring rain. Soaked to the bone,
Hunger pains.
Its already dark out,
Almost six. Waiting for the bus,
I feel so sick.
I'm alone. I'm so alone.
I'm off the bus, its seven
According to my phone.
Walking in the miserable dark,
Down the familiar path,
I'm dreading "home", Detention please take me back.
I get in the door, get yelled at and go up the stairs.
I'll just rest my head, I wake up to my alarm.
I'm  lying in bed.
I panic. My homework. It wasn't done last night
I'm crying, if i tell the truth they'll think I'm lying,
Its not alright.
I didn't forget. I didn't forget,
To them I lied and said the opposite.
They said "All the chances I gave you I regret"
"Just do your homework"
Do you not think i try? My essays are incomplete cause i stay up half the night, being yelled at.
"PLEASE EXCUSE AMELIA FOR NOT FINDING THE TIME TO DO, TWO MATHS PROBLEMS IN BETWEEN BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED"
So you give me MD after MD, saying it will "help" me.
To you I'm just another wasted youth with potential thats lazy,
I deserve no credentials because my work and attitude is hazy.
You must think that I dont care ,
But really I do, I'm trying I swear.
I cant fit school into my schedule.
Dear school, I really had fun,
With my friends, and now I'm almost done.
But you didn't help,all you did to me was yell.
You don't know me,im just a name and number on paper.
But perhaps my experiences would shock you like a tazer.
Stop being rude to your students, we all have our own ****,
Be nice instead, we all struggle a good bit, be nice dont pretend.
Yours unfortunately, Amelia
The End.
Its long but i was reflecting over (mostly) my junior cycle spent in detention. Education doesn't reflect intelligence.
Here's a hint:
Don't fall into love.  
Whatever love it may be.
For you'll pause one day
You'll think to yourself
Why must this happen to me?
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