Big brother
Please come
You do hold the key

Without you
I'll run
Straight back to the sea

Big brother
You sneer
Why don't you see

You're a tyrant
I'm done
Please get up and leave

I have got this  idea,
a stupid wish, a nonsensical desire
of being in a car accident.
Hear me, I want you to.

I prefer to be in the backseat,
seat belt on, and a frequent mannerism
of looking down, in front
on the driver's dashboard. I do that,
I always want to know the speed
and how fast the others outside this space
of metal and cushion. I don't want to be the driver,
knowing myself, I would not get myself into one.
I am a safe *****, that is all.
Then, here goes nothing -
I want the car to crash. I still haven't made my mind
on where or what are we going to crash.
Maybe a wall. Maybe another car. Maybe a post.
I want it to be something solid, but not alive.
Trees are the exceptions. I want the car
to kiss that solid thing, head on.

I don't want the pain that may come along,
I don't want to call it a near death experience,
I want that instant where -
everything seems unreal
or too real my head would not be able to
understand. I want that portion of time
where I decide do I close my eyes or not,
that moment that I will have my life question itself.
And I don't wish death I don't wish to live, either.
Just that moment, where I could think
how instantaneous life can be.
I want that tick of the clock
the clashing of realities and dimensions..

I want that moment,
I need to feel that moment of being just between death and life
where everything doesn't matter anymore, but I still know
they exist.

I have this stupid idea,
nothing so important, nothing so surreal
but to wish this
is the demand I am willing
to pursue.

The
Flags
Fly on the hill;
.                     the
.                     storm slips down to the valley!

as I roll into these sheets,
the arms of my lover
invisibly extend
to hold my tired bones
in an embrace
that will hold
until you return.

the story started with hairline cracks.
cracks that were so fine, thin and insignificant.
let us not sidetrack,
and go straight to how it all happened.

somehow the pressure got to us all
widening the tiny fissures in the wall
slowly the walls started crumbling
and the decorations started tumbling.

the pieces of the walls started to fall off
and each piece that almost hits me
i dodge, dust myself off and cough
it never did hit me that this really could be.

eventually i became enlightened
and my perspective was brightened
suddenly the rug fell through the floor
and i am out the door

plunged into darkness, i ask
since when had the fault lines widened to swallow me up?
into an endless abyss of darkness
unlike that of dusk

swallow her, swallow her
till we're both gone
and I guess
it's your choice on
and on
which bone you want clean
& I float regret for not asking

i'm letting you fold over me
and keeping still isn't allowed here
I haven't stopped spinning since you led me

I haven't stopped spinning

secrets become miracles
like a mirage or dance
like being kissed or ******
it's all rain and ruin anyway
unless it's you and then it's

not mine
& how many minutes till it's warm
till it's done

I can't beg someone to
become you or me become her because it's never that easy
no time machines
no moons or
I don't celebrate ordinary suggestions
because we are all born accidentally
like perfect
mirages or miracles
dancing in secrets
wet with secrets
but someone learns to love you

& I've tried to pretend, or something

A lot of people call me insane
They call me stupid, and wonder why
I rather be heart broken than break someone's heart
I don't like the thought of someone's heart aching when they hear my name
I don't want someone to cringe when they hear my voice
I don't want the thought of me
To break someone to tears
To be the poison flowing through his veins hurt me more than any man could
My heart is too kind and pure
I can't bear the thought of hurting him
This is why I'm better off being heart broken
Rather than being a heart breaker