i wasn't ready for you
and i knew you weren't ready for me.
i was scared to show you the mess between my ribs and the hurricane inside my head. i was afraid you'd cower and run.
but they say time, time is the true narcotic for pain
and they were right.
because now i am more than willing to cut my heart open knowing it would only bleed your name
i am willing to tear every layer of my skin to show you what i'm made of.
everything that makes me, me.
my scars, my fears, my hopes and my dreams
my "night pieces" ; the pieces i only share with the moon.
i will show them all.
because i want you to know that i am not perfect
(i am tired of trying to be)
i am a storm beneath flesh and bones
i am made up of tiny cracks and holes that could never be filled
and they are what makes me whole.
i will be your biggest tidal wave.
but darling, if you accept me for everything that i am
and everything that i'm not,
i promise to love you like you've never been loved before.

i know i left you for my own good, but that doesn't stop me from throwing up on my bedroom floor at 4 a.m. when i think about the times you held me there and listed the reasons you loved me.

i know i said i no longer wanted you, but i sleep with your shirt in my arms every night and pretend i can still smell your scent in it.

i know i said i moved on, but my eyes don't shine anymore and my heartbeat seems to have faded to an occasional dull ache compared to the 100mph beats i experienced with you.

Don't you remember the way you'd hold me? The way you'd laugh at me when I got angry, and the way you'd replace my tears with a smile? We used to wake up next to eachother and now I am left staring at my phone for a missed call or, at the very least, a text. The feelings are gone and have been replaced by a sort of emptiness that cannot be filled by another's soul. I believe that pieces of you are lost in the sheets that we used to intertwine ourselves in.