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Ashutosh Nov 2020
it's not the fact that you left me
but that the world didn't stop moving
when mine did ....
i know i hurt you but tell me was it so easy
so easy to give up on me ?
yeah i made mistakes ,and i was mean
but was it so easy to believe that it was just an act i put up to get your forgiveness .
i know used that word "sorry " a lot
but was it so easy to say, sorry no more
after those heart filled realisations
after  admitting to those mistakes .
tell me was it so easy to just walk away
its not the fact that you wont be the person that
i wake up to neither would you be the person i close my eyes on ,just the fact that i won't have anyone in the world to call mine now..
its not the fact that you are leaving me for good
its just that the world is still one piece while mine just shattered in front if my eyes .
Ashutosh Apr 2020
what if this is the last conversation we have ever? what if this is the end of the world ? end of us ? a thought made its way into my mind ,what if we never get to see each other ever again like they say that its the end the actual end ,what would be the words I would want to use asked myself ......brain started framing deleting and putting together sentences ....to the point that it stopped everything around just stopped maybe i am not ready for this , maybe its not the end the procrastinater in me thought ,are we even there?
they say whenever you are at the end everything just goes through in front of your eyes ,the glimpse of your entire life ,it happened but it was just you , wearing that beautiful dress smiling in the purest form
Maybe that is how i want it to be ,that is how i want it to conclude in the purest form with me in complete taciturn just congregating the pulchritude of your smile
Ashutosh Mar 2020
what is confusion ?
is it an expression or is it a feeling?
but how do you know exactly ,when you dont know what it exactly is ....
its like this mystery that surrounds you you think its your heart ,your stupid heart
but its actually the brain making you think its your heart ,see confusing ryt
its like when she is in front of me i exactly know what it all is ,each nd every thing seems so perfect ,so infallible
but then when we start talking the confusion, heads out ...like a little **** that can spoil the complete farm ,yeah!!! exactly like that .
love ?? Maybe ? Maybe not ?
no no its lust maybe ? or maybe not ?
ohhh yeah it definitely is love ?but why, why dont i feel love ? there's benevolence in your silence and repugnance in your words sometimes
is me the confusion??
or are you ?
Maybe we will Never know ,because what the heart feels is what the mind deducts and we still say that "love is the language spoken to all but understood only by the heart "maybe the basic concept of love is only a confusion derived of our inadverty
Ashutosh Mar 2020
i was bron being told a man is somebody who hides his countenance adeptly
But what exactly defines a man ?
Is it the hair on the cheeks ?
the depth of our wallets ?
or is it the strength of our arms ?
we are taught how not to express our feelings
and how it makes us look weak
so hiding emotions defines a man ?
or is it our aloofness ?
or is man hood just desperation
born of the isolation
of our indoctrination
Ashutosh Mar 2020
you know something is changed
i used to read you like a book
but now you are like a lost character
kind of lost kind of aloof
you had it all the ingeniousness ,the badness
maturity and the recklessness
but you know its losts on its way
people change ohh! mademoiselle i know they
but you , you are squandered in this evil world
but you are the favorite character of my favorite book which i read perpetually the character thats being missing its laughter they say it was the best countenance ,but it somehow lost its enchantment.
now days go by when that smile doesn't make its way to the surface ,its somewhere there but hidden beneath a veener ,a veener of melancholy
I know somethings change because
i used to read you like a book
Ashutosh Mar 2020
There was a time when each drop of her tear fell on my shoulder
Each paragraph of hers started with me and ended with me
I was her hapiness and I was her sadness
Now I hear there are different characters to entertain her evenings and me ??? Well me ,now I am just the forgotten character of her story !!!

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