It was summer and warm
I can still feel the grass beneath
Just like in one of those movies
We laid together underneath the stars

When we kissed

We were high on the castle
I leaned on your shoulder
Soft laughter in the summer breeze

When we kissed

You threw the dice
I went after it

And then we kissed

I held it dear to me
Back then
Because we kissed

I wonder where I left the dice
-
I found it
In a drawer full of Knick-Knacks
Just another memory

Oh, what have I done?

It was war
I saw you standing on the other side
From afar
Gliding through dead man's shadows at night

Fighting lost causes
I watched you succeed
Blood as red as roses
Bodies fell like dead meat

When I was past reason
I got trapped in your gaze
Everybody knew you won
As I fell into a haze

Oh, what have I done?

I saw nothing but you
You did not raise your hand
I had not had a clue
But I stopped to pretend

That is when I started walking
Straight towards you

Oh, what have I done?

When we faced each other
eye to eye
It was as if I said goodbye
To everyone who abandoned me

I know exactly what I have done
It was then I realised everyone else was gone
I stood alone until the end
What will I be, foe or friend?

Some things might never end
Some things might never start
But that does not mean you have to bend
With everything you have got including your heart

Some things might make sense
But truly do not
Some things might not make sense
Although they did

Some things might be true
Some things might be wrong
But what is it to you
If not only an opinion

Either if I live for myself
Or somebody else

Things that I
Would
Could
Should
Trust
Must
Lost

Who knows who you really are
Who declares what you have to be
Who can tell you what to feel

It is time again for all my demons
To come visit me
When I am alone
I search for my bones
This is all I will ever be
When I am under earth and stone

I greet them like old friends
Always by my side
Never abandoned me
When I ran into dead ends
Soothed my fright
Showing sharp teeth with glee

I can feel them sitting on my shoulder
Weighing me down
Each day they grew bolder
Dragging me to the ground
My hands are getting colder
While I hold them close to me

I could not let go
Although it was freezing me
I even tightened the hold
If not for me then neither they should be free

I want to see what is hidden
I want to see what is forbidden
In the darkest of darkness
Covered and clothed by shadows

It is watching
At all times
It is waiting
Shackled in binds

For when I see
It waits with glee
It will be free
To hunt me

Wreck my heart
It hurts so much
This aching part
Worse if touched

Every day now
I start to cry
I wonder why
Every day now

I don’t feel
Is this real
More years
More tears
To come

I live alone
I eat alone
I sleep alone
I breathe alone

I miss company
Before, it was a symphony
It was supposed to be harmony
Now I am just lonely

I lie down
On the ground
Exhausted
I regret