Dear ever moving shackles
You have conquered many castles
You have ended many battles
No matter how hard I fight
You will remain finite
You could come to an end tonight

You are much like a snowball on a hill
You begin life oh so small, a crawling pace
Life drags along and we wish only to be old
We toss aside the present in blind disappointment
Before we have time to stop and live
You keep moving as I’m to drop dead

It feels like just yesterday I was happy
It feels like just yesterday was years ago
I still must hesitate to waste you
Only when I am elderly will I appreciate you

You keep moving forward
I am still a coward
I have achieved no honor
No hope has yet been offered
I waste time faster
Then it could ever run from me
Far I have travelled
Little I have gone
Fast I have ran
Slow I have moved

Dear old friend and caring brother
New enemy and cracked mirror
Condemned slave and acquitted killer
I already talk with you everyday
I might as well confess my dismay
The onlookers must hate our parley

Four books and twenty-two years
Still we are racked with fears
Still we are lost and estranged
But which one of us is deranged

Does the conscious live in the mind or the soul?
The mind, the soul, the heart, the will, who has control?
Am I writing a plea for ceasefire to you,
Or Am I the one receiving the devastating letter
Are you the one who watches the film
Or are you the movie director
Are you the one speeding down the tracks
Or are you the train conductor

People say we don’t smile enough
I say we don’t fake it enough
People say we don’t live enough
I say we don’t lie enough
Do they hate us?
I must say I hate you
I truly would hate to be you

Perhaps we could still be free
If we let someone else lead
Someone who cares more than us
But the problem would seem to be
which one of us holds the key

Dear Father of good and ill
Let Your words be my will
Lead me to the streams ever so still
Or perhaps You can first listen
For I can not see Your eyes glisten
Please do not abandon this son

I do not believe in coincidence
Yet I can not find meaning in life
I believe life is brutally fair
Yet I find myself tormented by fate
Can I blame You for the illness
Or should I bless You for the stillness

Why is it hard to run to You?
Truly it is hard to trust that which I do not see
Why is it hard to be mad at You?
Truly it is hard to hate that which I do not know
Why is it hard to blame You?
Truly it is hard to blame that which is innocent

I am sure this letter will return to sender
Yet I fail to discern the offender
Have I been misled by ghosts and whispers
Or must I consume again the scriptures
Is God the author of my misfortune
Or is luck my soul’s warden
I fear answers will only come when I’m lifeless
For God could never break His silence

I have made it at last
Through the dark forest I have passed
I see a small bridge of glass
Over a stream quite relaxed

Who is that who keeps the bridge
Against life is his grudge
He wields a mighty scythe
But uses it like a rickety staff
His face is shrouded in shadow
His fate only God can know
He sticks out a hand, broken and deformed
“Give unto me your heart adored,
Or be struck by the sword”

His words pierce me like a spear
Could it be true what I hear
For the voice that speaks is my own
This man’s truth is unknown
Yet I feel I must obey
No longer will joy accept delay
So I rip open my chest
And pull out my still beating heart
To fulfill my own request
I can feel emotion depart

Satisfied, the bridge keeper steps aside
No longer will joy be denied
I stand among the meadow
Should I have said no?
What great lengths one goes to
For the smallest ounce of joy
In the meadow she stands
She is love, joy, peace, light,
She is beautiful, glorious, kind
She is all a man needs
She is all I can desire
I can not see her face
Yet still we embrace
Oh how joyous is this moment
Too bad I gave my heart to the opponent

Pain insufferable, pain unending,
Pain tearing, pain gnashing,
I have heard it all before
I have lived it once before
Pain, pain, pain, such a vain word

Hello, my name is pointless
And I am addicted to pain
It seems wrong to profess
I fear there is little to gain
I don’t recognize pain anymore
Yet peace is still a chore

How can I paint a clearer picture
I pretend to have a chance with her
Knowing the flame is but a flicker
I turn to the scripture
Yet it only stirs my pain quicker

See, I live off the pain
Whether I drown in complacency
Or swim myself to death,
I win
Whether I spend my days fixing the bone
Or must lose it in vanity,
I win
Whether I fight through the thorns of life
Or waste away in comfort,
I win
Whether I am forgotten alone
Or become lost at sea,
I win

Tell me, what should I fear more
To hear nonexistent voices
Or to want to hear them
Tell me, what should I fear more
To be addicted to the bottle
Or to desire to want it
Tell me, what should I fear more
To destroy a lifelong relationship
Or to long to see its end

As a drunk grabs his bottle
As a druggy grabs his needle
So too do I grab my knife

Who am I?
I who thinks he can live
Hopefully I doubt the purpose of life
Hopefully, I can escape the pain of purpose

Dying is bitter, but death is sweet
Living is better, but life is deceit
You truly never will leave us
Life truly is still meaningless
I hope I can find reason
I doubt I will reach Eden

Foolish is the wise
Who does not experience his wisdom
So too am I a fool
To doubt the truth

Hopefully I can be happy in this life
Doubtfully I hold tightly this knife
Hope is the strength of the blind
Doubt is the reality of knowledge
From the ruins I could be led
But only if God was dead

The hands of the clock slowly crawl
You pound away at your work reports
You look up at the blank wall
Faces form of all sorts
You blink it away, you are tired
You stand up, you must move
The door creaks open behind you
A being sneaks and slides in
Terror manifests from the beast
It penetrates your very soul
And upon your heart it feasts
Move!
Your feet our pinned with fear
As the creature draws near
It hisses and screams
A being from your worst dreams
You yell aloud, but produce no sound
Your heart runs as you stand still
The monster drags itself forward
A disgusting thing, its distorted
Move!
The hands of the beast slowly crawl
Up you paralyzed legs
You stare into its eyes
You only see the darkness of your own mind
You pound away at the beast
But your arms are bound
Its face takes the form of a hound
Its tongue reaches out
And plucks out your eyes
Move!
You snap awake in your own bed
To the kisses of your good dog