I could use your warm embrace
Your lips sweet and tender
Your hands firmly placed
On the small of my back

I really need for you to undress me
Tie my tongue with yours
Lay me down
Enjoy me

Mark me with your teeth
Leave my skin, rosey
Hold me down
Take me

I could really use your warm embrace
Your lips taste so sweet

I feel the cold waves lapping at my feet,
whispering dark words in the night -
The waves are slowly rising to drown my soul again.
The cold will leave me numb,
and the drowning will leave my lungs on fire.
It won’t be long before I’m sinking again.

I did something
selfish
today.
I made my grandma
buy me a 20$ book,
that I didn't need,
simply because
I wanted it.
She'd already
bought me
an expensive lunch,
and the only reason
we were in
the bookstore
was to find a gift
for someone else;
instead,
I made her
buy one for me.
I felt alarmed
at the cash register,
I knew I should of
left the book on the shelf,
that this trip shouldn't be about
me,
but
I did it anyway.
It's true
we all want things,
but sometimes
getting more than
we need,
turns people
into tools
for our use.

I hate my own company sometimes
My mind always running in marathons
And too still sometimes for the boredom to leave my bones
It is seeping into them
Executive dysfunction and dissociation are playing hopscotch in my brain
There is no winner here
Instead I lay in a standstill of movie- watching and trashed floors
Wondering when the energy will come back
Wondering when the motivation will return
Or if I ever had it in the first place
I've been friends with my mental so long it's hard to remember a life before them
Before they told me who I was and who I should be

there's nothing wrong
with falling in love,
deeply-

unless you'd
deprived yourself
for the other

Is part of getting over you,
Disregarding my influenced interests?
Is it unhealthy to hold on to what made you the one that stuck in the back of my mind,
Even when my heart no longer pined,
For you.
I’m discovering new beauty,
Yes it’s great,
Should I set down some souvenirs,
Were they solely for you and me?
Golden light,
Will you still shine?
Maybe in a different time,
Strung by new threads of twine?
I’m ready to pursue,
Somewhere I have not yet flew,
Find something new of mine.