I thought I was broken but I realize that I was raised by a broken woman.

we all do it
Pretend
Pretend we’re happy
Pretend we’re content
Pretend we’re angry
Pretend things are going great
Pretend the in-laws are nice
Pretend work is great
Pretend the money is worth it
Pretend
Pretend
Pretend
I want to stop pretending
I’m ******* miserable.

All of the above.
Alone.
I feel so alone.
I wish I had that emotional support some girls talk about with their moms
I feel like she’s there but not there
Im just here
I wish I can go to my mom for a hug
I wish I can go to my mom for advice
I wish I can talk to my mom
I wish I had a different mother
I feel so alone

Thousands of miles separate us
Who said long distance works?
I hate it
I want you here
My bed is cold
I sleep diagonal
When are you coming back?
I miss you
Come hold me again
Virtual dates & late night talks
Five minutes of holding you can change it all
Long distance is tough
Baby I want you
I miss you
Come hold me again.

I’m the invisible friend.
The one where everyone tells their problems to.
The one where everyone comes to for advice.
The one where everyone comes to for research.
The one where everyone’s goes to for fun time or random adventures.
The one where if I need a lending ear I’m alone.
The one where if I want to cry I find a corner.
The one where if I want to eat I eat alone.
The one where if I want to talk I better find my notebook & pen.
The invisible friend,
Always needed, never wanted.

I can’t trust my heart because she betrays me.
I can’t trust my brain because it won’t tell me what I need.
They go back and forth.
The only thing I have constant in my life is a pen and paper.
They never let me believe something else.
Everything in front of me is black and white.
I trust my pen and paper.