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Your cash lined pockets can’t hold all your gold
Your beautiful castle made of ice cold
And there you sit upon it’s thone
I still don’t envy because you are all alone
There you are with all your presious  “things”
And what happiness does it bring?
When you meet your love and she has inner “Gold” will you see her for what she holds?
Will you pass her by unknowingly without the slightest glance or peer from your eyes
What you will miss is the love of your life
How sad this makes me my heart aches
You will die sad and no one by your side
Because you walked right by her side and you didn’t know her worth while alive
Walking dreaming talking scheming
Upwards towards the sky I fought
Downwards tripping down I ought
Double meaning words spill from
My snake like bewitched fork like tongue
Shady altered unfriendly friends
Shadows follow slowly bend
Adventures tease and lure me out
To the dark outskirts of a ghostly town
We wander aimlessly about and around
Nothing lives here just dust of crowns
We find our way back to a place we know
And see some friends and off we go!
To another place another adventure
With our slippery words and greasy temper
Inside the grounds
My heart it bleeds
A special house
Down by the sea.
A home for children everywhere
But now abandoned
With no one there .
It's sad to see the years move on
With those in need of care
All those days have come and gone
Leaving memories to share ,
Thinking now of those special  times
They were special times indeed
Now the house is past repair
And the grounds now full with weeds.
You see the times are changing
That's the way that it must be
Then that really is no comfort
For children with special  needs.
If this house could tell its story
I wonder what it would say
The past and all those children
And its former glory days .
The children now are older
They have grown to be adults
Living in a world of prejudice
Along with harsh insults .
But there's no need to worry
What will be will be
Still they have those  memories
Of the old house by the sea.
The old house by the sea was actually a mansion
Called Martinue house ,it was a holiday home for children with special needs from all over Britain.it was a beaghtifull house indeed.
It was closed becouse the councel thought there was a danger regarding the house being to near the sea.
.


In my dreams I am a warrior....Athena  on horseback.
Battle scarred yet with a quiet strength that burns within.
I am a white witch...arms outstretched as I dance beneath the saucer moon.
My lips moving in an incantation that will set me free.
The stars above the only witnesses as I relinquish all that does not serve me.
The manacles that bound in misery now rusted and useless.
Like a caged canary that at last  escapes its imprisonment from its human oppressor.
Wings flapping madly in a joyous first taste of freedom.
I am the water that once was murky and heavy with silt,
Now flowing free..crystal clear and pure.
The storm that has raged for a lifetime now calm..a gentle warm breeze.
The elements of nature stand beside me...my foot soldiers, guardians.
A reminder that I am not alone...
I am at last laid bare....canvas white and new....
The time is now.......let it go....
 Jun 2018 Jesse stillwater
BMG
I missed you today,
I miss you most days
but today it’s different
Today it hurts more

Today wasn't a hard day.
Today I lived,
I worked
I smiled
I spent time with friends and family.

Today was a good day,
but I still missed you.
I somehow miss you more
On good days

I was always told
Sooner or later
We stopped missing someone
that ache just faded away
Over time

Once you have loved a person,
a person as I have loved you
I don’t believe, it ever leaves.
I think that type of love
Is the exception to the rule

Quite possibly
It resembles losing one to death.
You miss that person
You try to find solace in knowing
they are safe and sound somewhere.

But you see
When you lose someone
and they still exist
Your mind wonders

That ache doesn't go
You can never know how they are.
You want to to be there safe place,
the person they run to
but you aren't that anymore

You are no one,
they don't even think about you,
They don’t crave you
And still you can't seem to stop
Stop caring about them.
 Jun 2018 Jesse stillwater
BMG
She is the waves that match my eyes
The ocean inside my soul
Ever changing grace
The steady change
I have always needed

She is the bones that make my spine
Bending but holding me up
The wolf howl
Escaping out when the moon is high

She is the compass to my freedom
Her heart the guiding light
The choices I have made
She has never turned away

She has been burned
Walked on blackened coals
Tracked ashes
North
South
East
West

She has been cut down
Bled out
Licked her wounds
And risen stronger

She is the storm
That washes me clean
The sun after the darkest of nights
She is my mirror
My soul in another
A reflecting flame that can not be put out.
back from the brink
of blindly falling;
back alone again
in a crowded room

there is no bridge
over troubled waters,
no way to purge
vast oceans
when deep rivers foment
pitch black
swallowed by an insatiable sea

no good shepherd to gather
an abandoned black sheep
cast heedlessly away
from the fold

unbefriended
like a dogless bone

a stain on impeccable sublime
a hopeless wanderer
stalled on the brink
of a threshold lost in time

purge me from your poetry
so I won’t remember
the insatiable  ache
of inerasable words
left unsaid

you lured me out
from the cold & darkness
to freeze my heart
in naked light of day

purge me from your poetry
like you spilled me
from your heart;
don’t come back here
to this slippery, lonely edge,
just to bid adieu

as if I didn't notice you were gone

purge me from your poetry
so I can accept without
sorrow's ache so deep;
in unbroken silence
a heart silent  atones not pretense,

and yet,

the only lie you whispered was "friend"



November 2016  ... wild is the wind
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