As she screamed
Everything she knew fell away
As she screamed
She screamed herself into a new reality
As she screamed and screamed and screamed
Every old outdated insidious pattern let go
She screamed her way to freedom
She screamed until it all cracked
All the thoughts and questions and fears cracked
Her scream penetrated everything
She screamed and screamed and screamed
Until she was empty
Empty of everything she had ever swallowed down
Empty of every unsaid
Empty of the rage and terror and the desire to hurt
Empty
Empty
Empty

he was a no mask man
he looked into my eyes
into my soul
he pulled me forth
caused my mask to fall
his open vulnerability and strength
his cheeky smile
his sincerity
his presence
his desire for a better world
he held me
in every way it's possible to hold a person
he held me
like a baby
like a woman
like a child
like a lover
i didn't realise how much i needed to be held
he looked at me as if i was the most beautiful woman in the world
as if i truly was his angel
i felt like an angel when i was with him
he looked at me with eyes of pure love
pure love
he danced with me
ate with me
sat with me
listened to me
held me
loved me
He was a no mask man
We said yes to the world
Yes to life

it's when the sun goes down
and the end of the day approaches
that she wants nothing more
than to be cosy on your couch
tucked up under a blanket
whilst you do your thing
sitting crossed legged on your kitchen counter
chatting breeze whilst you cook onion rings
when you come lay with her on the magic couch
take off happens
she’s transported
exquisite peace and happiness
kitten curled up on the heater with a belly full of cream, utterly safe, utterly content
at peace with the world
no where she'd rather be

sun down, the time now, is when she struggles
her being reaches out into the night for you
despite these feelings rising and falling
she’s digging deep
learning to stay with herself
hold herself
it's not the same
she can't pretend it is

she's aware enough to see the dark gift
she needed to be alone
to learn to not be afraid of the dark
but the truth is
she’s not built for alone
she’s destined to be the kitten who got the cream
curled up beside you on the magic couch
paw to paw
ready for take off

It played with her
It would whisper
That there was someone else who could understand her more completely
Talk deeper
Make love slower
This illusion has been shattered
And the painful beautiful truth is finally shining through

for the first time i can see
how it was all about me
my needs, my wants, my fears, my insecurities
a constantly questioning mind
throwing up reasons why our love couldn't sustain
fear driven, faulty programming that couldn't trust
couldn't allow love to deepen and unfold
heart break and loss have cracked me
tears on top of tears have washed me clean
i now see through myself
how it was ego needs and wants
killing the love and possibility of the present moment
fear driven
instead of love driven
my manipulating grasping ego has been shattered
leaving love, no more fear, no more defenses

i love you
without a need to be with you
i love you

regardless of outcome
i love you

I choose to wait and allow my love for you its full term
I choose to wait before jumping into the arms of the next great distraction
I choose to be the person I would want to be with

It's you my soul feels home with
Behind ego's dysfunctional patterns
It's you my heart rests easy with