“You’re a terrible person”
No I’m not
“ You’re so stupid”
Stop it
“ Nobody likes you”
But... they do
“Why would they want something broken?”
I..am..not..broken
“He’s too good for you”
Tell me something I don’t know
“You’re not supposed to hear us sweetie, you’re crazy”
...........
“Exactly, just end it now, end it all”
“Stab us out of your head”
“Watch us pour out of your wrists”
“Jump off the ledge, silence us”
“Choke us out, grip your throat and squuueeeezzzee”
“End it, you have nothing to live for”
Well it’s just another day to having to listen to you guys and I am stronger than you think.

The fortress upholding your faith collapses
A darkness barrages it’s way inside
Your thoughts become thundering drums
Your skin trembles as the sound resonates
A fight for control and a loss to selfishness
There’s a war raging between deception and actuality
ignorance becomes sweet
And the facts increasingly bitter
What it has to offer is captivating and misleading
Weak eyes are now covered with a thick film
Empty stares, empty words, and empty actions are the result
You’re a modern day Mona Lisa with these smiles
What were you thinking?
You became disoriented in the moments
Your illusions depict happiness
Those lies sustain you, quenching an insatiable thirst
desires burn brighter than reason
Questions never feel answered because the truth is suppressed
Those rants in the mirror are meaningless if your actions are dormant
The person shouting back is someone You can’t recall
submerged by what could be and loving the idea of dreams
A decision against faith with delusions of grandeur waste you away
You realize you need help
laying down with streaming tears and an open heart, you whisper a prayer
You find a piece of who you are and make your solution exist
You leave, You reject, and you cry until you cant cry anymore
You set the darkness on fire behind a glass door and see how inhuman it is
When the ashes have drifted away, You feel unbalanced
You couldn’t remember how to live with faith in something better
You lost what you wanted and miss what you don’t need
You were led astray and are finding your way back again
Committing yourself to God rather than sin is your first step

I smiled looking into your dark eyes
laughed as you fumbled around unknown territory
and kissed, as you blushed embarrassed
Of the way your breath grew unsteady with wandering hands

I've seen you in my dreams
gazing at me with a hungry fire
providing promises
that made my heart skip beats

I held your handsome face in my small hands
Your body laid against mine for warmth
Snuggling closer as though you can meld into me
We'd whisper our thoughts for the future

I'd want a big house in the mountains
You'd want two sons
I'd have time to travel and dance
You'd have a career of building and engineering

I wanted you to be mine forever
You said the same
I had to hide you from everyone
for us to be together

Distance and time made you weary
I struggled with my grip on you
Your eyes would find another resting place
My heart would devolve into the empty void again

Your hand suddenly left mine
My lips lost its tilting smile
Your heart sauntered  away
Finally, mine left a gaping hole

Stop calling me beautiful
Don't organize my things
Ignore your urge to kiss me
Forget about giving me goodnight texts
Don't tell me your deepest secrets
You shouldn't try to understand me
I may be an *******
but your the hemorrhoid irritating the **** out of me

Please let me go
It’s not something I can end
I started this, and can’t stop
I take one look and bathe myself
With your purity

I am an unholy being
Craving the good in this world
******* the marrow from your bones
To get every ounce from you

I’m caught in a fiery love
Torn between leaving you for dead
Or staying with you
Slowly taking with regret

Nothing gets better than seeing you happy
Looking into those brown depths of love
How is it that my unholy self
is the only one that notices it?

That you're everything a person hopes to be
You remind me I’m a monster
But when your lips open
They whisper, “do your worse”

You challenge my deadly voices
Believing you love me endlessly
What a fool
You don’t have any idea what I’ve done

Don’t let me drain you of good
Hold strong and let me go
If you really loved me
You’d let me go

Run faster
Maybe you could leave behind his kind face
Beat the pavement one step at a time
Maybe you can beat his kind face away
The cold gust of wind bites your skin
The way he nibbled your lower lip
The wind gently brushes your hair back
The way his hand did when he looked into your brown eyes
Your hands clench and sweat
Like when he pulled you close, and whispered
I love you
Your eyes begin to water
Remembering
That he was gone forever
Stop
Let your arms hang limp
Let your legs stop sweetheart
Stare at the trees towering above you
Reminding you of how small you are in this universe
Because somewhere that boy you love
He just wants you to stop, and enjoy the scenery
Because that boy understands how quickly
It
All
Disappears

I’m dying
You’re dying
we’re all dying

Take that in
Let it marinate
Let it remind you there is an end