The fortress upholding your faith collapses A darkness barrages it’s way inside Your thoughts become thundering drums Your skin trembles as the sound resonates A fight for control and a loss to selfishness There’s a war raging between deception and actuality ignorance becomes sweet And the facts increasingly bitter What it has to offer is captivating and misleading Weak eyes are now covered with a thick film Empty stares, empty words, and empty actions are the result You’re a modern day Mona Lisa with these smiles What were you thinking? You became disoriented in the moments Your illusions depict happiness Those lies sustain you, quenching an insatiable thirst desires burn brighter than reason Questions never feel answered because the truth is suppressed Those rants in the mirror are meaningless if your actions are dormant The person shouting back is someone You can’t recall submerged by what could be and loving the idea of dreams A decision against faith with delusions of grandeur waste you away You realize you need help laying down with streaming tears and an open heart, you whisper a prayer You find a piece of who you are and make your solution exist You leave, You reject, and you cry until you cant cry anymore You set the darkness on fire behind a glass door and see how inhuman it is When the ashes have drifted away, You feel unbalanced You couldn’t remember how to live with faith in something better You lost what you wanted and miss what you don’t need You were led astray and are finding your way back again Committing yourself to God rather than sin is your first step
For a long time coming I have known things weren't going to be easy the genie isn't going to give wishes like it was candy on halloweens night, every night I'd lay my head on my pillow and cry for about ten minutes "it'll be easy soon, isn't it?" I'd ask myself convinced myself to go on like a parrot repeating the same old song, I said "it'll be easy soon", and come noon of the next day; I realised it had been a routine, a living pattern of new scene each stained in the same old ways, the same old days reliving itself in front of my eyes.
A few nights ago, I tried to **** myself and I did not die, somewhere, something is keeping me alive and tomorrow I'm going to stop trying, because trying to die was more exhausting than trying to live. I made a promise a long time ago to keep going on and that will be the path I am on.
I am choosing to try to be happy for this year I'd fought my fears and I'm one new day into my life, and tonight, I will try my best to invent dreams in my head before I sleep rather than spent the time in a deep cry, because tonight, as lights go off and my head hits the pillow, I will be thinking happy thoughts.
I love all of you. I'm going to keep on going, each and every day. Until old age rips me away from all of you.
“You’re a terrible person” No I’m not “ You’re so ******” Stop it “ Nobody likes you” But... they do “Why would they want something broken?” I..am..not..broken “He’s too good for you” Tell me something I don’t know “You’re not supposed to hear us sweetie, you’re crazy” ........... “Exactly, just end it now, end it all” “Stab us out of your head” “Watch us pour out of your wrists” “Jump off the ledge, silence us” “Choke us out, grip your throat and squuueeeezzzee” “End it, you have nothing to live for” Well it’s just another day to having to listen to you guys and I am stronger than you think.