This bed is like a coffin
With a burial each night.
I could tell you where
it all went wrong
But it wouldn't make it right.
I'm never worth
Remembering
You each showed me that.
With your pretentious self obsession
Words that always fell flat.
Each day is long and empty.
I cannot find my way,
So forgive me
Graciously
While I slowly fade away.

You fade...
Like a bruise.

Like the ones your mouth left on my neck and shoulders with its lustful pressure.
Your teeth, which brought moments of bright pain/pleasure,
Are now bared in an artificial, animal smile.

Your lips, which parted to ******* skin like it was salvation,
Barely part now to speak to me.
You whispered my name like a prayer.
You screamed it like a curse.
You sighed it in contentment,
And now you won't even speak it in passing.

Your hands, which half-playfully pulled my hair...
Now won't pause to brush it from my face.

All these parts of you,
None more telling than your eyes.
Those new windows, which once let me pry...
Now have blinds drawn tight behind them,
Leaving only a pretty, shiny reflection-
A passing, glancing imitation-
Of the passion they once held
When they beheld
Me.

No color left to them but the muddy colors of
Boredom,
And possibly mistrust.

You fade...
Like a bruise.
Like the one you left on my mind with your brilliant conversation
And beautiful, rusty prose.
Like the many you left on my tongue...
Which now can speak nothing but trite and meaningless words,
Which now can barely remember the shapes
Of all the shimmering, liquid phrases it spoke to you
That seemed so important at the time.

You fade...
Like a bruise.
Once lover and friend,
Now barely one
And never the other again.

If only you knew,
If only you could understand,
The one thing that means so much to me.
Love.
I love you.
Its not traditional,
But its true.
Its love.
Love is love,
And details aren't important.
I love you.
I hope,
This is my one hope,
That you love me too.

No matter what I do
No matter what I say
Everything I do
Is not good enough for you

Somedays I may be able to make you feel good
Other days im just tired
And when those days come
The truth comes like the light of the morning sun

We fight over and over again
Neither one of us willing to understand
Truth is you want a girl of purity
Truth is im not her. I've been hurt before.

Life has taught me many lessons
you are one of them
do you want to stay or do you want to go
Dont worry im use to being alone.

I cannot make you understand,
I know you won't make me try.
Please do not give me your pity,
Even if I do start to cry.
These bitter memories have molded me,
Whether for better or for worse.
I know I am a handful,
I am a blessing and a curse.
I will never force you to stay,
but if I ask, please don't go,
If during rain, wind, sunshine,
or even falling snow.
Someday I will bare it all to you,
when the time is truly right.
I don't expect you to understand,
but I hope you stay through the night.

Having low self-esteem *****
It has shaped me in ways that I can't even look at myself in the mirror

I do not want anyone to feel what I feel about myself
It is a terrible, terrible feeling
when you can't accept yourself
when you doubt everything
when you can't trust yourself
when you can't love yourself
when you give in to the voices that little you and,
and start to believe every word of it

I do not wish this upon anyone
but for some reason
when I find someone who is going through this...
it helps

I know I can talk to them
I think because they are the only ones who truly understand
Who will not make fun of me
Who will stand by me because they know,
they know what it's like to wish you could rip this skin of yours and be a different skin
because you just hate yourself so much

I am still getting used to this skin

But is it really such a crime?
Avoidance, that is.
I wouldn't call it isolation,
nor anti-social behavior.

Perhaps I just enjoy the quiet
and the decrease in anxiety
a bit more
than mindless chatter
and having to worry about everything I say.

Please, darling,understand this one thing.
I'll avoid people quite often until my last breath.
Only under this circumstance shall I function semi-correctly.

(d.d.b)

I understand the cutter.
Loving you is
My self-harm.

I don’t need to know you personally to know that you are actually worth something. You are worth more than you think. Why do you feel the need to believe your own lies? You need to believe that you are worth it and you need to believe that you will get through this, the more you tell yourself that you aren’t worth it, you will start to feel like you’re not worth anything when the truth is you are worth everything. I understand that sometimes, the ones who surround you can make you feel like a worthless *******, they can make you feel like nothing. Simply because it always seems like no one cares about you, but I care about you, your family care about you, your followers care about you, your friends care about you. Sure, sometimes their actions seem to prove otherwise, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t care. Why would you let someone down grade you to something that you are not? Why would you let yourself fall for other peoples lies? You see all those people trying to make you feel like crap? Well you are above them and you should know that by now, simply because you do not feel the need to put someone down in order to make yourself feel better. Don’t you ever let an ex of yours, feel like you aren’t worth anything. Why give someone the power to control your life? To control what you do and how you feel? This is your life and you need to live it how you want to. This is your life and you need to realise that you are here for a reason. You don’t need someone to come along, to make you feel like you are worth something. You don’t need someone telling that you are worth it. Because you have always been worth it, whether you choose to believe it or not, is entirely up to you. Don’t let someone shape the way that you live and think. Don’t live in fear of never being good enough. The people around you see something special about you and now, it’s time for you. To see it within yourself. You’re worth it, see it. Believe it. Because its the truth and one day you are going to have to accept that fact.