It's kinda cool how when life is normal
rainy days make me lethargic and unmotivated.
But when life is hard and I'm struggling
rainy days are the greatest comfort,
as if the earth is crying with me
saying that I'm allowed to feel it all

My friends told me

They didn't want me anymore

I scare them you see

They never understood me

I tried to send them away

They promised to stay

What happened to promises?

Now they've all gone away..

I can sit alone at school

Every day

Your eyes sang the song of loss
And I recognized the chorus

The storm blew through
You can see forever
Stars gaze through
You can see forever
Swayed by the moon
You can see forever
Irrevocable wish I need you
You can see forever
Yet time I wait for you

Adieu

I had some news today.
The kind of news that sits on the surface
Skimming like oil on water.
Then, when least expected,
A match is dropped
And the oil burns.

I watched the fire
Dumbfounded
Knowing all I could do
Was to let it burn out.

There is nothing but ashes now.
The oil is gone.
The water is gone.
All that is left is a black, toxic sludge.
I stare
Knowing I need to face it.
Knowing I need to sift through
The ashes
And sludge
And fear
And horror
To find what's underneath.

Will anything be left?
Or will I be scorched
Condemned.

mental illness is the
most expensive thing
i've ever owned but
never wanted

New
Like the dawn
The glorious sunrise
Pinkish hues awash with silent beiges
And the sun
Is a fiery orb
Coloring life into every living thing

I feel the new
With my breath
In and out
And I think of the ocean
The powerful ocean
I can feel it within my heart,
The waves rumbling through my veins

I can see the new
In not so distant visions
Of a future full of growth
I’ve healed so much
And yet there’s more
More of the new
I open my doors
Let it all in
All the gloriously soothing beauty
Of life’s simplest pleasures
Healing me

There’s been a crack made in my lifelong illusions
I’m beginning to feel clarity, and not confusion
Saying yes yes yes
To more beauty.