You smelled like heaven.
And I look like hell.
"you're the right person,
this is just the wrong time"
Well,
when is the right time?
There's never a right time.
You have to put your **** aside,
and make room for what's good.
Because one day the "right person",
won't wait for the "right time".
And you'll be wishing they would.

"I didn't say no.. Why didn't I say no?"
"It was my fault. I should've said no."
"Why'd he have to do it? Why'd he have to do it to me?"
"I shouldn't have let it continue. I should've told someone the first time."
"Why didn't he go to jail?"
"Why wasn't he punished?"
"I never should've told anyone. I should've just let it go."
"My mother hates me because of this."
"Will she ever forgive me?"
"She will always love him more than me.."
"Why didn't she kick him out? I was nine years old."
"Why did my own brother do this to me?"
"If I **** myself, I won't have to see his face anymore.."

I'd rather hate myself for the rest of my life,
than to love you for even just a second,
because you hurt me more than my own thoughts ever could.

Never invest your time into someone more broken than you are.
You can't save a person,
You can only love them.
And sometimes (most times) love just isn't enough.

It's perceived as a wonderful thing.
It's portrayed to be beautiful.
It's spoken of so sweetly.

I only know it to be horrible.
I only see it to be dangerous.
I only hear of it harshly.

It's perceived to be glorious.
It's portrayed as something that saves you.
It's spoken of as though it's God.

I only know it to be horrendous.
I only see it as something that kills.
I only hear of it as though it's the Devil.

I want you in the rawest form.
I want you while you're crying on your bathroom floor unsure of your worth.
I want you naked in my bed with your legs shaking from exhaustion.
I want you while you're angry and throwing everything in your path voice as loud as it can get.
I want you happy and dancing to your favorite tune at 3am in your underwear and my t-shirt.
I want you in your most vulnerable parts.
I want you in your strongest moments.
I want you all the time.

I still smell your perfume,
even when you're not around.
I still reach for your hand,
even when you're not around.
I still crave the taste of your lips,
even though you're not mine.
I still find comfort in your arms,
even though you're not mine.