I've never craved anything as much as I crave you.

I am a student,
Born and raised in public education.
I am smart,
In my own right and my own way.
And I am capable,
If only I had the means and opportunity.

So how dare you tell me with ADHD
That I should “keep my body still” and “use my inside voice.”
I am trying to listen, I am trying to learn, but you aren’t trying to hear me!
Why can’t you see that my body just needs to be free?

How dare you tell me that I can read
When I can’t tell the difference between b, d, q, and p.
If you could see the world like me, it would be pictures, not symbols
Dancing across the page, why can’t they all just stop?

How dare you tell me that it’s my mother’s fault
When I fail the test or don’t do my homework.
She’s working three jobs to put food on the table,
I see how hard she works, don’t you?

How dare you tell me that we’re all the same
When the sounds you make aren’t the sounds of my father,
And I can’t hear when my sounds aren’t yours,
Can’t you see that I’m working twice as hard?

How dare you tell me that I “just need to try harder,”
When I can’t remember why is nine plus zero is nine, and nine plus one is ten,
But nine times one is nine, and nine times zero is nothing.
Are you living in a different world than me? Does two plus two ever equal three?

How dare you tell me that I just “need to focus.”
How can I analyze Shakespeare, when all I think is “hungry?”
How can I “solve for x”, when I’m adding up the money for my brother’s next meal?
Can’t you hear my stomach grumbling?

How dare you tell me that I can’t succeed
You can’t see my future. All you see are
The holes in my shoes and the stain on my shirt,
Why does money define me? Can’t you see the forest through all the trees?

How dare you tell me that I won’t make it.
Where I sleep may change like the wind but poverty is not a sin
And the love in my family is my home,
Why do you assume that we can’t win?

How dare you tell me that I need to calm down.
My rage is a tool of survival, I’ve waged more wars
Than you can count, dealing with this life is a battle.
Can you see an end in sight, aren’t you be the one supposed to save me?

I am a student,
Put on a path in public education.
And I am smart,
Regardless of what people say about me.
And I am capable,
I find my means and opportunity.

And I dare you to ever think any differently.

I'm so very sorry for all of the heartache you endure-
someday somebody will come along that can make you very happy.
With Spring quickly approaching, I hope the sunshine warms you up,
and I hope you receive all the messages the breeze tells you.
Remember, everyone sees the same moon and breathes the same air.

Touching someone is only a matter of knowing they exist.

I feel helpless.
Like a very small fish
in a very small bowl.
But sometimes,
you make me feel
like an even smaller fish
in an infinitely vast ocean.

I am torn apart by the currents of your anger-
Tossed and shaken,
Until I am left confused and
Alone
in the depth of your problems,
which you choose not to share with me;
and watch in enjoyment
as I struggle to figure things out for myself.
But, at the end of the day, I know I will be captured yet again,
only to be placed back into my suffocating home-
where you tap on the glass,
until I turn
belly-up.

I keep looking for a song to define the moment,
                 But the sound of your name fits every occasion