I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.

I fell in love with candlelight-
in my darkness, she shone so bright.
She danced the breeze, lit up the night,
her glow consumed my very sight.

But wax and wick both burn away,
and candlelight just cannot stay.
As sure as night turns into day,
that fickle flame will go astray.

But for a moment, through the storm,
she lit my world, she kept me warm,
then flickered out, as is the norm
for candlelight, its fleeting form.

I fell in love with candlelight,
for but a moment, all was right.
Her glow, her dance, consumed my sight,
and faded out at end of night.

I have been so lucky to know a dog...

To know the enduring love of mud puddles and everything pure.

To know joyfulness in a greeting,
and the happiness of eating a stick.

To know gentleness and nuzzling,
and the softness of fur blowing in a breeze.

To know a wagging tail and the thumping of paws on the floor.

I have been so lucky to know a dog...

At the wake of morning day
I’m guided far away
Amongst the overgrown gardens and trees
On an endless path to be

Faintest scents of herbs and tea
Scurrying friends chattering beside me
Rising sun dew brushing my fingertips
Alone along forests gaze

i wonder if you remember
the presence of me
because i’m constantly reminded
by your faded memory

it lingered in the Sunday laundry
and ghoulishly appeared in a frame
popped up on the car radio
and frightened me all the same

as i packed your things,
it was in a card for my birthday
and eerily in a box of frosted flakes
i guess i never liked them anyway

later, it would quietly permeate
a passing tv commercial for charmin
remember how we used to laugh
i have those memories every now and then

i hope where you are is better
than where we were together

i wonder if you remember
the presence of me
because i was constantly reminded
by your faded memory