I toil in anonymity
These words will not be read
You will not drink what's in this cup
These thoughts will not be said.

I'm buried on the internet
Far out of Google's reach
In basements stacked between thick tomes
No students will I teach.

I'm outside of your consciousness
My plight will draw no tears
I will not be anthologized
On passage of the years.

I shout among the swelling crowd
And blend into the hum
I'm heard here by myself alone
No more will I become.

I wish to see what I once saw.
To spectate a simple moment that has long passed.
Memories fade, they say,
Fade away from your mind to make room for what's ahead.
But I don't believe that,
I know they are there.
Tucked away deep waiting for the proper time to resurface.
Who is it that decides when these things should be recalled?

The gurgling sound of drowning can be heard all around my cozy little canoe.
For myself, I must ignore the choking.
Nothing good will come of my diving into the flood to find you.
I will bot abandon my boat for a floating carcass,
It is my only way through the gates of this watery hell.

Currents, carry my craft to a dry world.
Show me to a place where I can finally stand.
I need a new beginning,
I need a method of recovery for my waterlogged heart.

If I could take you with me, I would.
But you stubbornly wait for Savior to drain our home while I build a boat.
Patience only pays off when there is effort behind it.
Someone forgive me for being the only one who knows that.
I only wish for the screaming to cease till I make it,
I don't want that to be my final memory of you.

Who gave you the key to my cage?
I've embraced my death, like its love or compassion.
Four blank walls, suppressin my guessin.
Born into this, pulled out of it, now where do I go from here?
Colors fade.
Ideas change.
Defamation of the martyrs stage.

Never agreed to be freed.
Rusted metals attached to me.
I'm forced to drag it around,
Until the limb gives out.
To learn to live is what im limping toward.
But where do I begin?
Colors change.
Ideas fade.
Evolution of the modern age.

sometimes
it seems so wise
so full of good sense
a nice bit of advice
yet on a second
maybe even third
or fourth thought
I realize its madness.

Too few ears perk up to hear words spoken by pure silence.
Secrets spread out on the surface.
Foot level in darkness.
Remove your hand from the light switch.
Explore the floor
The way
The door.
Mangling your knees to find some more.
There's always more
There will be more.
Leave your limbs where they lay
Continue clawing at your core.

Drop a nickel on the floor,
What'd you hear?
I heard so much ******* more,
You're a deaf, numb bore
You deaf, numb bore

A shadow sat beside me
He grinned and tipped his hat
I asked him,  "May I help you sir?"
He said,  "Hon,  you'll do more than that."

He said " I am your biggest failing,  
As well as your loyal crutch.  
I'm the demon that your plagued  by,
I'm the result of Satan's touch."  

His grin was filled with malice
Shadows wrapped around my arms
The darkness has descended fast
As he dangled comforts charm

I'm no longer my own person
Regardless of how I fought
The shadow is all through me
And controls my every thought