I wonder how some people's brains work
why their bodies twist and twerk
is it all just attention seeking
and what the hell is fleeking?
now I'm not one to sit and judge
because I never passed the bar
without stopping to get drunk
not quite down in one
more like two below par
this is when you begin people watching
a popular pub past time
I saw a guy who was pork scratching
which certainly put me off mine
a barmaid stood there ready to serve
who just wanted some peace and quiet
but the men they formed a queue to perve
she almost caused a riot
now I guess I am just another fool
that's drinking after hours
barely balancing upon a stool
trying to maintain his mental powers
from the far corner, a drunk begins to sing
before collapsing on the floor
just as the last order bell rings
maybe I'll have another
I only drank two or was it four?

In bed, I lay
upon my cushioned existence I stay
but outside the world's at play
birds swimming in the sky
and trees that gently sway
dancing the day away
and I continue to lie
the distant sounds
of yawning grounds
two parched lips
as the Earth does rip
let the rain come
so we may take a sip
heavens nectar
falls upon a discarded deckchair
striped like candy cane
blotched with the rain
scattered upon sandy dunes
could this be a monsoon
ironically late
but still worth the wait
paid patience admission at the gate
one ticket to wet wet wet
this is what patience gets
just need a raincoat
so I can appear in the matrix
how can you hate this
a neopolitan sky
dripping with colour
if I were a scholar
I could espouse on its many virtues
instead, I turn up my collar
and tip my hat
a little milk won't hurt you
an umbrella swung round a lamppost
and now I'm Gene Kelly
still wearing a raincoat
but dancing
romancing the moonlight
for night has snuck in the back door
like an absent teenager
but this too shall pass
soon the dunes turn to grass
and I too return to task
a new day
at play.

I wore my England shorts today
as a form of camouflage
so that I could remain at large
amongst the crowds of yobs
it's amazing how they can afford so much beer
without having jobs

a group of them approached
asked if I had a light
I said I never smoked
but there's a torch app on my phone
which is pretty bright

then one of the three
roared at me
It's coming home!!
to which I didn't reply
as I went back to my phone
afraid it was some form of mating cry