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I have a brother who’s a vampire
yes you heard me right
that’s the truth I’m not a liar
he only comes out at night
and when he’s out he’s on the prowl
trying to find a bite
but he’s a vegan who be stealing
all my Vegemite
I tell him dude go get some food
your skin is pale *** white
but he insists it’ll be a risk
if he’s seen in daylight
I say bro I love you dearly but I don’t want you near me
I don’t want to be proven right
he said we are brothers by our mothers
it’s our job to fight
yes we are step and not by blood
and that’s what I like
Originally written July 30th 2021
The uniVerse May 18
if you must go
then make it quick
I would rather not know
or else fall sick
with worry and grief
for all that's lost
the sadness at least
will be worth the cost
if you must go, then go
I will understand
that seeds will sow
wherever they land
and though my pain
may never pass
I know the rain
will grow our grass
Originally written May 30th 2022
The uniVerse May 11
what a noble endeavour
to always appear measured
to never loose you cool
I've been through it all
the turbulent sea
the loss and apathy
yet I still remain
not quite the same
not quite insane
but getting there
wherever that may be
across the same sea
I was never a strong swimmer
not what you'd call a winner
but who needs medals
or other precious metals
they will only weigh you down
how heavy is the crown
I abdicate my throne
would rather be alone
you may not think of me as clever
but noble is my endeavour
Originally written Oct 4th 2022
The uniVerse May 4
Where the last ***** died we're not quite sure
but sailors reported one just off shore
floating in a bathtub of brine
the batteries died but it still works fine
manual labour equal rights
beating yourself up for delight
selfish pleasures hidden treasures
hand in hand in equal measure
some have suggested a museum
as their last resting place
so everybody can see them
where sailors don't give chase
stuffed and mounted how ironic
a virtual knickknackatory
how we merged with the bionic
each one telling its own story
A.I. at its lowest function
numbing pain through pleasures gain
I heard the newer models had suction
but all in all, it's just the same.
Someone decided to spam my inbox with ***** pictures when I confronted them about it they told me to go write a poem about it so here it is...
The uniVerse Apr 27
You know I've heard it often said
if a caterpillar dies before its wings have spread
before it's been able to leave the cocoon
if it died far too soon
then it's soul will go to heaven
because heaven is where all creatures get wings
where we no longer need our body or other things
where caterpillars become butterflies
where we all go when we finally die
so if you should sleep and never wake up
if your breath falters and heart finally stops
I will not shed a tear no I will not cry
because I know you've learned how to fly.
The uniVerse Apr 20
I witnessed a fly, die
before my very eyes
his legs upturned
so I said a few words...

sometimes life gives you ****
and you gotta eat it


then averted my eyes
as if to cry
but when I looked back
his body had vanished
somehow he managed
to avoid death

I guess the moral is none of us know how long we got left.

So when you’re lying on your back with your legs akimbo
enjoy the moment as it could be your last shout
or just another fly by the window.
This is based on a true story but some elements may have been enhanced for entertainment value.

Originally written May 20th 2020
The uniVerse Apr 13
I the lie that keeps on giving
twice denied life and the living
we sacrifice our palms and bury our feet
with smiles disarm with smiles we eat
a feast a deluge all is devoured
our sensibilities overpowered
why rest upon a tattered bed
when you can sleep with sin instead
and waste away your weary hours
building castles, steeples, towers
all will crumble in the end
and so to you my dearest friend
let’s raise a toast to that which haunts
the holy ghost and spirit it taunts
that knows not good or evil
a land of lost forgotten people
but may we tread a righteous path
for who knows which will have the final laugh.
Originally written Nov 3rd 2021
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