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The Red Woman Oct 2019
i get mad
no
i get furious
because of what you've done
no
because of what you haven't done
The Red Woman Dec 2019
i keep this love
in a phone case
that’s how we do it today
is it not?
The Red Woman Apr 2019
Everything is grey.
My mood,
my feelings,
my world.
A greyzone,
so I make my lungs pitch black
hoping for
another colour
The Red Woman May 2019
he changed
and not for the better
i may have become
bitter
but it's only because i mourn
the person he once
was
The Red Woman Oct 2019
my hero
is a pen
and some paper
The Red Woman Oct 2019
the human touch
brings warmth
but the thing is
it might also
burn
The Red Woman Dec 2019
it hurts
to feel good
it feels good
to hurt
The Red Woman Sep 2019
they put me in a box
and i put myself out of it
i am infinite shapes
in this infinite world
The Red Woman May 2019
i collect plants
i don't know why
they calm me
when i wake up in the morning
and the first thing i see is
life
The Red Woman Aug 2019
i cry every year on my birthday
you couldn't be there to keep traditions
so i made my own
The Red Woman Dec 2019
i don’t care
if you cut your hair
you’re still there
for me
aren’t you?

i don’t care
if you ruin our garden
we’re still here
for each other
aren’t we?

i don’t care
if you ruin my hair
i’ll still be there
for you
won’t i?

maybe i should care
but then again
i don’t
do i?
The Red Woman Oct 2019
i don’t sleep enough
he wakes me up
in the middle of the night
wanting to discuss what happened
and what might happen
i don’t sleep enough
The Red Woman May 2019
i feel so bad
and i don't know how to change it
i write
i say i'm sorry
i'm sorry for dissapointing you
please forgive me
please dont hate me
i can't continue this
The Red Woman Aug 2019
i give too much
and get to little
The Red Woman Dec 2019
i picked up the phone
just to hear nothing
but within nothing
i heard your voice
- you chose to be nothing
The Red Woman Oct 2019
you’re so fun and colourful

..yes, i know,
im compensating for the dullness inside

yes, i know
The Red Woman Dec 2021
I love you
and the language is poor
I have thousands of words
but not even all the words on this earth
would be able to express
what you are
to me
you are my friend
- best friend
my home.

How do I explain what you are?
when the men before have been
an unofficial fairytale
disgusting
weird
normal
short
and you..
so much more.

How will I continue without you?
I have tasted the apple from the garden of Eden.
It was never forbidden - but they got seperated
and who can live in the normal world
with the thought of the apple in paradise
that you once had?
For M.
The Red Woman Dec 2019
it tore the drawing apart
not knowing
that the imperfection
was what made it
perfect
The Red Woman Jun 2019
i'm so very
very
tired
in which way
or of what
is for you to
guess
ink
The Red Woman Jun 2019
ink
through my eyes
you are black ink
on white paper

everyone else is
white ink
on white paper
The Red Woman Jun 2019
when i tell people my age
that i have a depression
a lot of them tell me to
try and smoke
something a bit stronger
so i smoked joints
two days in a row
and the terrifying thing was
that i felt good
The Red Woman Jul 2019
it’s all the same stories
hidden under different
colours,
languages,
and intentions
The Red Woman Sep 2019
i'm a terra cotta ***
and you
are a beautiful plant
sometimes
you get overwatered
and i'll be there
to soak it up

it's what i do
and i know
that in the end
it will get the best of me
but it's fine
because it's what i do
The Red Woman May 2019
i've dissapointed the people
that care about me the most
i've let them down
after all they've done for me
and now
i feel lost
out of breath
as if the earth has swallowed me
and trapped me in darkness
The Red Woman May 2019
i want to feel your love
like rain falling down
but the only thing i'm feeling
is sadness
falling down as teardrops
The Red Woman Apr 2019
i wish we only saw souls
only heard the thoughts of the mind
fell in love with our eyes forever closed
and hands tied behind our backs
The Red Woman May 2019
my heart is jet black
and it still beats for you
The Red Woman Oct 2019
the language barrier
could never matter
our hearts spoke
their own language
The Red Woman Jul 2019
i’m so scared to
let anyone
in
but you
i would let you
in
anytime
any day
and any second
i’m just afraid that
it’s not what
you
want
The Red Woman Sep 2019
reaching for the sun
and getting your leaves burned
hiding in the shadows
and rotting away
The Red Woman Jul 2019
your life’s level of
importance
is judged by
how many and
what gifts
you get
the sad reality of the world that we live in
The Red Woman Oct 2019
out of a clear sky
the lightning strikes
and cuts m
e in half
The Red Woman Apr 2019
i could make lines somewhere else

but i'm too persistent

and a little too proud

so i'll just type a little harder
The Red Woman Apr 2019
all my life
i've been met by pain
and loss
loss of
family members
because they believed my lying father
loss of
a family friend
because he could no longer endure life
loss of
elderly rolemodels
because a sickness took them away
loss of
best friends
because i became too much of a wreck
and somehow
in the meantime
i lost myself
The Red Woman Aug 2019
the word "love"
does not exist
in the dictionary
that is me
The Red Woman Jun 2019
if loving you is
wrong
i don’t want to be
right
The Red Woman Oct 2019
make me cry
make me cry
i laugh
because you made me cry
The Red Woman Oct 2019
the moon marked me
and made me it’s preacher
come out, come out
look at the moon
it shines so bright
in the darkest night
The Red Woman Aug 2019
maybe you
and i just were
n’t meant
to last
a friendship i
s a two way thing

maybe you forgot
The Red Woman Dec 2019
why would you shape my mind
to fit your mold
how could that be interesting?
how could that be fulfilling?
i guess it’s subjective
how you treat your subject
The Red Woman Jul 2019
i need to explain
how i feel
but my dear
i am so broken
that i can’t
i need you
but it won’t work
i’ll be broken forever
and you’ll be a missing piece
The Red Woman Jun 2019
i have this one plant
it's dying
and i don't know what to do about it
i watch it get worse
bit by bit
day by day
and it is as if i'm looking direct in a
mirror
The Red Woman Apr 2019
my favourite actor
nothing less than perfect
my whole world, all i saw

but then you became something else
someone else
even though you were wearing the same mask
as you did when we first met

on the outside the same
but on the inside you changed
therefore i still watch you
as you perform in the crowded hallways

how do i heal from a loss of someone who hasn't died
He changed. Everything he does is like an act. I just thought that we were special, and there was no act with me. He changed into something that I couldn't recognize, and I was pushed away. I watch the face of a boy I loved, on a person I can no longer recognize everyday. Now I am left, trying to heal from a loss of someone who technically isn't dead.
The Red Woman Aug 2019
my gateway
is a sad song
and a single tear
The Red Woman May 2019
my head feels so full
and so empty
at the same time
it feels like nothing
and everything
at the same time
The Red Woman May 2019
my heart aches
for a love
that consumes me
my heart aches
for true recognition
and my heart aches
for my own acceptance
The Red Woman Jul 2019
in my life
it has been hard to
draw inspiration from
people

i’ve been let down
so many times
that it was hard to
get up

but then i saw
her
same as
me
but different
so much more
more than she thinks of
herself

now she inspires me
and i hopefully her
a friendship
with eternal love
support
and inspiration
This is for my dear friend Kristine. A soul like me; but in my view, so much more ❤️
The Red Woman Apr 2019
if you choose to fall in love with me
please strip down my mind
and discover my most important parts
stripping down my clothes
would only make you
run
The Red Woman May 2019
my own reflection disgusts me
i wish i could change my body
and or
the way i view myself

if it was anyone but myself
i wouldn't care
The Red Woman Jul 2019
my poetry has suddenly changed from
dark and depressing
to
cheerful and happy
no difference has been made
except for you
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