You pick me up and kiss my open mouth in the middle of a "hello" and an apology for my hair
I kissed you back and forgot what I was even saying

small things

you ran ahead of me to open your car door
even after I get in you look at me for a moment before you close the door

you push me on swings even though you hate swings, I'll never really know why will I?

we got fast food and drove circles around the city we love
you took pictures of me in front of buildings
I took pictures of you eating

I feel most alive right then

We drive home and race the indigo sunrise
I like watching you drive
I wanna break the concentration in your eyes

I can't feel my face when I'm with you is playing- I turn it up to wake us both up
we sing at the top of our lungs to each other and even though you're tone deaf, I can't help but smile and cheer you on because you're the best singer I know.
The smallest things you do make me feel like everything is the way it's supposed to be
I'm supposed to be in this moment with you

I never feel more complete than when we become one
Vibrations turn to colors
Sounds melt into pillows
I'm finally able to be yours
I think I've entered a new realm of release, are you here with me too?

You drive me into sanity

;don't look at me that way
With so much passion and care
don't look at me that way
With so much love and hope

:It pains me to look at you this way
I can't have you that's why
Why I look at you this way
You're good and I'm not

:your parents warned you about me
About me breaking your heart
But I can't have that
I can't break a diamond to pieces

:go on, sweetie.
Find your prince
And don't stick with this peasant
Go find your happiness
And not in a pit of darkness

Grasp my hand and lead me,
Through the boneyards left behind.

Conceal the sorrows of the past,
And allow me to vestige into obscurity.

Wake up, hello,
wake up, hello,
wake up, hello,
Shaped are the pale clouds that billow
In my lucid dreams, blue, orange, pink and bright yellow
Now and later I dream of snicker wrappers sticking to my pillow
Purple trees surrounding me
Laffy taffy toes when I see my feet and I laugh and giggle
Paranoid in my sleep
I just ate my baby nieces skittles
And my little sisters cereal
With goose pimples and spiders tingling up and down my skin
My brain is pulsing harder
No, no, don't let those cats get in
Because Dolce ate my shrimps, and Gucci ate my cake.... Joe
Put the bag down Jake!
Like I'm Alonzo on a sugar high from all the skittles
When I stop dreaming fluffy cat, pink, and bright yellow pillows
I need to slow it down with the herbs I bought shopping for medicinal

so
here i am
again.
and still
i sit right here.
exposed
to those around me
my screams
they still dont hear.
tho some
may look apon me
and see
a broken soul,
i keep on swimming
through this life
lost within a fish bowl.
my lungs
are slowly burning,
the smoke
begins to bubble
but still
i sit
apon the floor
searching through the rubble.
desperate
for my freedom
of all unspoken thoughts,
i keep calling
for the mind
i recently just lost.
it feels as if
i m empty
without my hearts desire
to find the sun
in everyday
and let it bring me higher.
slowly i am building
a strong
and stable self
in hopes to ..
place the last few days
apon the deepest shelf.

The moment you walked into the room,
tousled hair, guitar case in hand,
I knew I had to talk to you.
Your forest eyes were tired but you tried so hard to seem interesting,
and I was determined
to find my way through those emerald pines
so tightly sequestered in your iris to
your mind.
Everything was lighthearted until the drive home.
You told me we should definitely talk or hang again soon.
Keeping in mind that it was me you were talking to,
I chuckled awkwardly and waved it off.
"It's more something you'll have to follow up on.
"It doesn't matter how many times I ask to go places,
"See people,
"Everyone forgets about me.
"It's okay though. I'll see you around."

Obviously, I'm not good at first impressions.

I saw you around, here and there,
when suddenly, we lost a mutual friend.
I'd been crushing on your irish charm for some time now.
You were nearing the end of a relationship.
The most ****** up thing,
is the fact that
I knew
that I loved you
when
you walked into the room
holding her hand.

It's ironic- and kind of unnerving-
that three weeks later,
you were taking me on our first date.
Despite the location--
Country Christmas, Pewaukee, WI--
the color that was most vibrant was the look in your eyes
when you leaned in to kiss me.

Those forest eyes are the ones I was screaming to
seven months later.
Almost to date.
The ones I was begging for answers from,
on my knees in front of one of the many Wisconsin forests,
alone.
Tears stung my eyes as I hit the ground.
Your name tore at my throat as I looked at the trees
and saw nothing but your eyes.

I was tempted to run into the forest.
I was tempted to see if it would lead me back to you,
if I could finally get through the brush and find your smile again.

I wonder if I'll see it again.
I wonder if I'll kiss you again.

All I knew from the moment you walked into the room,
tousled hair, guitar case in hand,
was you were going to be a part of my life, forever.

I was just hoping you'd be my forever.

So I guess
I found you by accident
and forgot you
on purpose