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The Calm Sep 2018
aware of my depravity
pressed down by the gravity
kept down by the havoc it spills actually
it's sweet like a cavity
it'll confront you callously,
it'll tactically relieve you of your faculties

aware of my depravity
seeing how it got to me, seeing how it held hold of me
No plan of letting go of me, feeding me feelings of apathy
my demons parade me, pageantry , steal from me, give me fantasy
somebody send the cavalry, somebody take this pain from me
somebody save myself from me, give me back my captaincy.
The Calm Aug 2018
How am I supposed to explain...the pain
to someone that wouldn't lend an ear...to hear
my fear about towards people in blue....who to you
seem like heroes, people who do.....only what they have to
You admit that some are corrupt, some aren't right
but black people need to coop, you think we always fight
against people that carry guns? have all the might?
historically oppressing people of color, have been the plight
I have done nothing wrong, but still my hands I raise
heart beating out of my chest, eyes are glazed
I feel them filling up, and I'm amazed, that I feel total fear
I feel depraved, but I have done nothing wrong,
is being black, just enough to play the song, to take us back
to Jim crow and his friend, ancestors in a shack,
shackled up by their hands, feet and on their back
is the American dream, American promise,
It said I promise you can be free, I promise
but here I am 200 years later,
flashing red and blue lights behind me, light a light saber
I smile, I'm courteous, I'm kind, put on my best behavior
hoping I'm not sent to meet my maker
because I've done nothing wrong
A story of getting pulled over for a random traffic stop and feeling an irrational, heart pounding time of fear
The Calm Jul 2018
Holy Holy is The Lord God almighty
We stand together to sing His praise
You say you love Him, but to me I'm amazed
That you can Love God but sin against your brother,
and remain totally unphased
I can write essays about how you sit and dispraise
the opinions of  your brothers and sisters
Or sit silently with uncomfortability in your gaze
Your lack of care to the matter is unsettling, it begins to abrase
at my love for you all, it sets me ablaze
The Lord you love spoke to the woman at the well
but when you talk to me, I don't always feel as if you mean well
I'm not calling you a racist, but your uncomfortability shows
That you want diversity, without discussing adversitiy
or seeing that still the cold winds of your ancestors blows
You hide behind the politics of your mom and your dad
Trump got elected, you couldn't say you were glad
Because people in your fellowship hurt, and that's always bad
but at home there's excitement, tax dollars to be had.
you hide behind your politics. I hide behind my God,
you hide behind your privilege, I will call you a fraud
I am hungry, didn't feed me
Chained, you didn't free me
But you serve a God of the oppressed
I am thankful that He won't say that you didn't see me.
Church hurt is the worst hurt..."God fearing people" Putting politics over god, putting America over God, putting the the people of God below American values. looking at a person's papers over the God that loves them. It's deep, a "God fearing nation"....
  Jun 2018 The Calm
Ifeanyi Ndolo
Feelings of hate,
Disgustingly late,
What will it do?
What shall you prove?
That your disturbed,
Genuinely perturbed,
Don’t make me smile,
I’ve been done for a while,
Let’s do the math,
Historical wrath,
Dislike of the colored,
You idiots uttered,
You expect no reprimand,
Yet want me to understand,
There is no trust,
That is now dust,
So *******,
And all ya people too
  Jun 2018 The Calm
Ifeanyi Ndolo
Two sides to the same coin.
They praise me, help me, take care of me. They are my guide to light and protector from dark.
A trophy.
They hurt me, they abuse me.
They feed me to the dogs and watch as I squirm with contempt on their face.
I am a tool to be used and discarded nothing more nothing less.
A slave.
Both sides are me.
We are one in the same.
It is forced upon me to wear these masks.
What am I?
The Calm Jun 2018
Find a mountain
Begin to climb
begin to find, your strength inside
your fingers weak, the air is thin
the rocks are cold, it numbs your skin
but continue to climb, to reach the shrine
a valley on a mountain, from the gods, a sign
Cause nothing worth having, is easily retireved
so climb your mountain, your gift, receive
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